The Hormone Hostage

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by mad_female, Mar 16, 2005.

  1. mad_female

    mad_female Member

    The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own

    hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!

    DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?

    SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?

    SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?

    ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate.

    DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?

    SAFER: Wow, you look good in brown.

    SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!

    ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate.

    DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?

    SAFER: Could we be overreacting?

    SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.

    ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate.

    DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?

    SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.

    SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?

    ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate.

    DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?

    SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.

    SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!

    ULTRASAFE: Have some more chocolate.

    13 Things PMS Stands For:

    1. Pass My Shotgun

    2. Psychotic Mood Shift

    3. Perpetual Munching Spree

    4. Puffy Mid-Section

    5. People Make me Sick

    6. Provide Me with Sweets

    7. Pardon My Sobbing

    8. Pimples May Surface

    9. Pass My Sweatpants

    10. ****y Mood Syndrome

    11. Plainly; Men Suck

    12. Pack My Stuff

    13. Potential Murder Suspect

    Pass this on to your hormonal friends and those who might need a good Laugh!

    Or men who need a warning.

    And remember: Money talks....

    Thought you might enjoy this


  2. lynchie

    lynchie Active Member

    I've read it before but it's always nice to be reminded that emotional women can be sedated with a little box from thorntons... or on those special occassions (honey, you know how I was saying how alike you and your sister look...) a big box from thorntons, and one of those bears....
  3. ScrapingtheBottom

    ScrapingtheBottom Active Member

    I've found those little chocolate pigs from thorntons are good.

    Also, NEVER buy flowers when you have done something wrong, especially roses as the thorns really hurt when you get hit over the head with them.

    Man cannot survive on chocolate alone, but woman can.
  4. Naomi McFadyen

    Naomi McFadyen New Member

    :lol: very good... nice find
  5. lottie4744

    lottie4744 Member

    hehe very funny! :D
  6. bigmamabadger

    bigmamabadger Active Member

    Do you remember those "special" classes that girls used to have to go to at school (do they still have them?)?
    This should be taught to boys in their own "special" classes...:)
  7. lottie4744

    lottie4744 Member

    yes they still have the special classes and boys have them as well now! :clap:
  8. WhatSharp?

    WhatSharp? Active Member

    Except if memory serves correct the boys ones tend to end up with stupid cartoon animations and who can blow the biggest condom in one breath before they pass out :D ... (or at least they did in my day :D ).
  9. WhatSharp?

    WhatSharp? Active Member

    Oh and not forgetting the famous "family on the nudist beach" film :rolleyes:
  10. bigmamabadger

    bigmamabadger Active Member

    We used to have this loony old bat who was a cross between Barbara Woodhouse and Mrs. Doubtfire to come in and show us films. She would keep stopping the film to give us morality lectures...

    No wonder I've got "issues"...
  11. Sam Atherton

    Sam Atherton Member

    That film put me off volleyball for life...
  12. lottie4744

    lottie4744 Member

    We just get some random nurse telling us stuff we already know and telling us about morals etc etc
    Apparently on the last "bodily" education day the lads lessons was "know your balls"
  13. WhatSharp?

    WhatSharp? Active Member

    Football or Rugby?
  14. Darth_Tuba

    Darth_Tuba Active Member

    Sounds similar to the night of a contest after too many beers...

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