The Geordie Thermometer

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by stevetrom, Mar 29, 2005.

  1. stevetrom

    stevetrom Well-Known Member

    The Geordie Thermometer

    50 Degrees. Southerners turn on their heating. Geordies plant their gardens.

    40 Degrees. Southerners shiver uncontrollably. Geordies Sunbathe.

    30 Degrees. Southern cars will not start. Geordies drive with their windows down

    20 Degrees. Southerners wear coats, gloves, and wool hats. Geordies throw a t-shirt on (Girls start wearing mini-skirts)

    10 Degrees. Southerners begin to Evacuate. Geordies go swimming in the North Sea.

    Zero degrees. Southern landlords turn up the heat. Geordies have the last barbecue before it gets cold.

    Minus 10 Degrees. Southerners cease to exist. Geordies throw on a lightweight jacket.

    Minus 80 Degrees. Polar bears wonder if it’s worth it. Geordie Boy scouts start wearing long trousers.

    Minus 100 Degrees. Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Geordies put on their long johns.

    Minus 173 Degrees. Alcohol freezes. Geordies become frustrated because the pubs are shut.

    Minus 297 Degrees. Microbiological life starts to disappear. The cows on Newcastle town moor complain of vets with cold hands.

    Minus 460 Degrees. All atomic motion stops. Geordies start to stamp their feet and blow on their hands.

    Minus 500 Degrees. Hell freezes over……….Sunderland qualify for Europe.
  2. 2nd man down

    2nd man down Moderator Staff Member

    LMFAO!!! :clap:
  3. yonhee

    yonhee Active Member

    LOL :lol: :clap: :biggrin:
  4. Laserbeam bass

    Laserbeam bass Active Member

    That's not a nice way to describe the young ladies down on the quayside, or at Blue Bambu :eek:
  5. Naomi McFadyen

    Naomi McFadyen New Member


  6. Andy_Euph

    Andy_Euph Active Member

    I must say how offended I am by the statements above :biggrin:

    Mind your right about the lasses...sometimes a pretty sight, others not :eek:

    Just goes to prove that northerners are harder than the rest of the country :p
  7. bruceg

    bruceg Active Member

    Further north you go... ;)
  8. Andy_Euph

    Andy_Euph Active Member

    ;) ... Mind you I've never met a Scot who can kick my ****!
  9. bruceg

    bruceg Active Member

    Hmmm... guessing you don't get out much then :D
  10. Andy_Euph

    Andy_Euph Active Member

    On the contrary, I used to go one holidays to the borders every year when I was younger. Loved it had loads of Scots mates, I love the jocks (probably because they are so alike Geordies/Northumberlanders)...

    ...Still never lost a fight though ;)
  11. bruceg

    bruceg Active Member

    That'll be my cue to get my coat then... :D
  12. DublinBass

    DublinBass Supporting Member

    C'mon now...everybody knows minus 273.15 is absolute zero, the coldest temperature possible!!!
  13. Andy_Euph

    Andy_Euph Active Member

    I think its just there to show that no way will the Mackems get into europe :biggrin:
  14. MoominDave

    MoominDave Well-Known Member

    It's in Fahrenheit!
  15. geordiecolin

    geordiecolin Active Member

    Well, as the song goes... "have you ever seen a mackem in Milan??"!!

    Very funny and true as well. I love my "Geordie bodywarmer" It always pleasurable to see all my housemates sooo much colder than me in our freezing house. And I remember being on the beach at Tynemouth on New Years Day not long ago, the beach was frozen, but the surfers were having a whale of a time.

    After queuing for a club without a coat down the Quayside when the wind's coming straight off the North Sea, nothing seems cold!!
  16. ScrapingtheBottom

    ScrapingtheBottom Active Member


    Ha ha :biggrin:

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