Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by Will the Sec, Aug 3, 2012.
Brass Clinician - A Scrapman.
I thought that was a Renton?
To Renton - dine out on a past glory for several years.
I couldn't possibly comment.
Presto- where band players purchased cheap pies and beer in the 90's
Viva Voce - The sound made by a Bass Trombone that is similar to a Vauxhall Diesel engine from the early 1980's
Tempo marking - 1. Directions to the conductor to change the speed; 2. Strange foreign words that don't literally or consistently mean what they say, but which are generally ignored anyway.
Registry - 1. Pointless bureaucratic process that inhibits participation at Brass Band Contests. 2. Necessary to stop the Brass Band Movement falling apart due to (a) cheating, (b) mercenary players and (c) any old excuse trotted out to argue against abolition.
*Cost!* er, I mean *Coat!*
Capital Punishment - 1. Not being able to compete at a brass band competition due to incorrect registration 2. Playing in a brass band in London, and having to listen to everyone north of the M25 say how unfortunate it must be, not to play in a proper band.
www.bbr.com - 1. A website for the purchase of fine wines and hampers containing fine wines. 2. Not a website for registering Brass Band Players
Here are a few I picked up whilst sitting in on a rehearsal with an up-and-coming Lancashire band.
DOBBER. A loud thick un-musical crotchet, which should have been shorter, lighter, and better executed.
CHICKEN-NOTE. A very short 'pecked' note not sounding to its full length, and remeniscent of a chicken that has just been kicked really hard in the rear end.
SNIFFTER. A very short after-beat, too short, and usually played late.
WAZZING IT. Overblowing in the extreem
LISTEN-UP! A term applied by the conductor when he wishes to interrupt the chit-chat going on in the trombone section whilst he is explaining the finer points of the boring old rubbish which he has chosen for the next concert/contest.
WE ARE WHERE WE ARE. A non-musical term employed by the Musical Director to express his despondency during the rehearsal on the night before the contest
TH TH TH's.Very thick triplet quavers often found coming from the back row cornets when attempting to play such pieces as Lorenzo.
Xenophobia - n. The fear of a certain brand of brass instruments
All - A value of an exact number greater than zero, not always quantifiable, but rarely equating to 100%.
Consulted - A value for an exact number greater than zero, not always quantifiable, but rarely equating to 100% (legitimately in authority or just in the right place at the 'right' time) approached, successfuly or not, regardless of the parties' overall satnce on the proposal, about something that will happen anyway.
Fact - Something a poster believes is true, with or without any validation from an independent source.
Thought for the Day - Any post that takes more than 12 hours to (a) read, (b) understand, (c) calm down enough to respond coherently about, and (d) take sedatives following the inevitable response.
Sponsored Silence - Debatably impossible on this site.
Opinion - What one poster claims when another states something as fact.
Double Champions - The band that can drink the most doubles between playing and the results
Separate names with a comma.