The Archetypical Brass Band

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by MrsDoyle, Jul 22, 2009.

  1. MrsDoyle

    MrsDoyle Supporting Member

    • 1 Eb Soprano Cornet - Too loud and usually out of tune. Convinced he has the most difficult part in the band.
    • 1 Principal Cornet - Concieted. uses too much vibrato.​
    • 1 Second Man Down - Either thinks he would make a better principal or hero-worships the principal.​
    • 1 Third Man Down - Loud brutal musical thug with lots of stamina and no finesse​
    • 1 Fourth Man Down - Like third man down, only louder and thicker.​
    • 1 Repiano Cornet - Waiting for a chance to play principal​
    • 2 Second Cornets - Hesistant, out of tune, but can play a bottom C.​
    • 2 Third Cornets - Loud, out of tune, but can play a bottom G.​
    • 1 Fl├╝gelhorn - Plays flat. Can't decide whether to be a cornet or a horn.​
    • 1 Solo Horn Eb - Usually a girlie - irrespective of whether male or female​
    • 2 Tenor Horns Eb - Can't play a unison tone in tune if one of them is dead
    • First Baritone - Useless player, out of tune all the time​
    • Second Baritone - Even worse player. Only there to show what the first baritone could do if he tried.​
    • 2 Euphoniums - Show-off and trainee show-off​
    • 1 Solo Trombone - Steam driven. Rasps most of the time.​
    • 1 Second Trombone - Sloppy player, but can rasp even at pianissimo.​
    • 1 Bass Trombone - Chainsaw with vibrato​
    • 2 Eb Basses - look like two drunken farts.​
    • 2 Bb Basses - play like two drunken farts.​
    • Percussion - Have lots of noisy toys which must be used in the most inappropriate way possible, Must be totally incapable of producing a swing rhythm.​
    • Conductor - So devoid of musical ability that he thinks the abovve shower sounds good.​
     
  2. Red Dog Brass

    Red Dog Brass Member

    Bass Bone - I object - I have never used vibrato in my life!
    Perfect article!
     
  3. Hells Bones

    Hells Bones Active Member

    Are you a girlie then Dan?
     
  4. Kjata

    Kjata Member

    Is it me or is that on The Harrogate band's website as well as the internet bandsman??? Caught out dan?? ;)

    although it's funny cause it's true, despite all the protests!!
     
  5. Thirteen Ball

    Thirteen Ball Active Member

    Ahem. I think you'll find most BB players sound better after a couple of Jars!

    (Or maybe we just think we do....;))
     
  6. Getzonica

    Getzonica Active Member

    true? Are you sure about that? ;)


    i thought trombone players were nearly always too loud......;)
     
  7. dyl

    dyl Active Member

    It's also been posted here on tMP, at least twice!
     
  8. Kjata

    Kjata Member

    That's disgraceful lol, stealing other peoples jokes!!! ;)
    (I have nicked other peoples joke's before)
     
  9. MrsDoyle

    MrsDoyle Supporting Member

    I am indeedy, deary... ;-)

    Are some people just out to pick holes in everything I do??? ;)
     
  10. David Mann

    David Mann Member

    Well, since you mention it, what does archetypical mean? :biggrin:
     
    Last edited: Jul 23, 2009
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    Principal Cornet
  12. MrsDoyle

    MrsDoyle Supporting Member

    'An archetype is an original model of a person, ideal example, or a prototype after which others are copied, patterned, or emulated; a symbol universally recognized by all. In psychology, an archetype is a model of a person, personality, or behaviour.'
     
  13. David Mann

    David Mann Member

    I'd have used archetypal, but I've just learnt that Archetypical is also recognised! Red face!
     
    Last edited: Jul 23, 2009
  14. MrsDoyle

    MrsDoyle Supporting Member

    :cry: Why is everyone so MEAN?? :cry:
     
  15. Kjata

    Kjata Member

    Well now you mention it lol!!
    We all know that I love horn players (lol) ;) but im sorry but it's my job to steal others jokes lol!!
     
  16. MrsDoyle

    MrsDoyle Supporting Member

  17. Kjata

    Kjata Member

    Come on dan, put some effort in to reply, I'm feeling snubbed lol!!
     
  18. MrsDoyle

    MrsDoyle Supporting Member

    Ooohhh sorry deary but my work is my work and you're not having it. So NUURRRR! :p

    :p;-):)
     
  19. Kjata

    Kjata Member

    Ha you have to quote your own posts hahahah!
    (don't quite know why that's funny lol)??? :(
     
  20. MrsDoyle

    MrsDoyle Supporting Member

    Yes... I am a moron...
     
  21. Kjata

    Kjata Member

    Don't know what to say to that so I'll waste everyones time by writing a load of rubbish!
     
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    Eb Soprano Cornet
    Principal Cornet

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