The Archetypical Brass Band

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by MrsDoyle, Jul 22, 2009.

  1. MrsDoyle

    MrsDoyle Supporting Member

    Messages:
    768
    • 1 Eb Soprano Cornet - Too loud and usually out of tune. Convinced he has the most difficult part in the band.
    • 1 Principal Cornet - Concieted. uses too much vibrato.​
    • 1 Second Man Down - Either thinks he would make a better principal or hero-worships the principal.​
    • 1 Third Man Down - Loud brutal musical thug with lots of stamina and no finesse​
    • 1 Fourth Man Down - Like third man down, only louder and thicker.​
    • 1 Repiano Cornet - Waiting for a chance to play principal​
    • 2 Second Cornets - Hesistant, out of tune, but can play a bottom C.​
    • 2 Third Cornets - Loud, out of tune, but can play a bottom G.​
    • 1 Fl├╝gelhorn - Plays flat. Can't decide whether to be a cornet or a horn.​
    • 1 Solo Horn Eb - Usually a girlie - irrespective of whether male or female​
    • 2 Tenor Horns Eb - Can't play a unison tone in tune if one of them is dead
    • First Baritone - Useless player, out of tune all the time​
    • Second Baritone - Even worse player. Only there to show what the first baritone could do if he tried.​
    • 2 Euphoniums - Show-off and trainee show-off​
    • 1 Solo Trombone - Steam driven. Rasps most of the time.​
    • 1 Second Trombone - Sloppy player, but can rasp even at pianissimo.​
    • 1 Bass Trombone - Chainsaw with vibrato​
    • 2 Eb Basses - look like two drunken farts.​
    • 2 Bb Basses - play like two drunken farts.​
    • Percussion - Have lots of noisy toys which must be used in the most inappropriate way possible, Must be totally incapable of producing a swing rhythm.​
    • Conductor - So devoid of musical ability that he thinks the abovve shower sounds good.​
     
  2. Red Dog Brass

    Red Dog Brass Member

    Messages:
    58
    Location:
    Kent
    Bass Bone - I object - I have never used vibrato in my life!
    Perfect article!
     
  3. Hells Bones

    Hells Bones Active Member

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    1,890
    Location:
    Cardiff
    Are you a girlie then Dan?
     
  4. Kjata

    Kjata Member

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    646
    Is it me or is that on The Harrogate band's website as well as the internet bandsman??? Caught out dan?? ;)

    although it's funny cause it's true, despite all the protests!!
     
  5. Thirteen Ball

    Thirteen Ball Active Member

    Messages:
    4,307
    Location:
    Brighouse, Yorkshire
    Ahem. I think you'll find most BB players sound better after a couple of Jars!

    (Or maybe we just think we do....;))
     
  6. Getzonica

    Getzonica Active Member

    Messages:
    1,097
    Location:
    Near portsmouth
    true? Are you sure about that? ;)


    i thought trombone players were nearly always too loud......;)
     
  7. dyl

    dyl Active Member

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    14,032
    It's also been posted here on tMP, at least twice!
     
  8. Kjata

    Kjata Member

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    646
    That's disgraceful lol, stealing other peoples jokes!!! ;)
    (I have nicked other peoples joke's before)
     
  9. MrsDoyle

    MrsDoyle Supporting Member

    Messages:
    768
    I am indeedy, deary... ;-)

    Are some people just out to pick holes in everything I do??? ;)
     
  10. David Mann

    David Mann Member

    Messages:
    738
    Location:
    Athies, Pas de Calais, France
    Well, since you mention it, what does archetypical mean? :biggrin:
     
    Last edited: Jul 23, 2009
  11. MrsDoyle

    MrsDoyle Supporting Member

    Messages:
    768
    'An archetype is an original model of a person, ideal example, or a prototype after which others are copied, patterned, or emulated; a symbol universally recognized by all. In psychology, an archetype is a model of a person, personality, or behaviour.'
     
  12. David Mann

    David Mann Member

    Messages:
    738
    Location:
    Athies, Pas de Calais, France
    I'd have used archetypal, but I've just learnt that Archetypical is also recognised! Red face!
     
    Last edited: Jul 23, 2009
  13. MrsDoyle

    MrsDoyle Supporting Member

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    768
    :cry: Why is everyone so MEAN?? :cry:
     
  14. Kjata

    Kjata Member

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    646
    Well now you mention it lol!!
    We all know that I love horn players (lol) ;) but im sorry but it's my job to steal others jokes lol!!
     
  15. MrsDoyle

    MrsDoyle Supporting Member

    Messages:
    768
  16. Kjata

    Kjata Member

    Messages:
    646
    Come on dan, put some effort in to reply, I'm feeling snubbed lol!!
     
  17. MrsDoyle

    MrsDoyle Supporting Member

    Messages:
    768
    Ooohhh sorry deary but my work is my work and you're not having it. So NUURRRR! :p

    :p;-):)
     
  18. Kjata

    Kjata Member

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    646
    Ha you have to quote your own posts hahahah!
    (don't quite know why that's funny lol)??? :(
     
  19. MrsDoyle

    MrsDoyle Supporting Member

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    768
    Yes... I am a moron...
     
  20. Kjata

    Kjata Member

    Messages:
    646
    Don't know what to say to that so I'll waste everyones time by writing a load of rubbish!
     
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