The 12 Days of Christmas

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by bigmamabadger, Dec 22, 2005.

  1. bigmamabadger

    bigmamabadger Active Member

    This may have been sent before, but hey. I'm off on my travels, will see you all in the New Year.
    Badger
    xx

    My dearest darling John:

    Who ever in the whole world would dream of getting a real Partridge in a Pear Tree? How can I ever express my pleasure. Thank you a hundred times for thinking of me this way.

    My love always,
    Agnes
    ========================================================
    Dearest John:
    Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine two turtle doves. I'm just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable.

    All my love,
    Agnes
    =========================================================
    Dear John:
    Oh! Aren't you the extravagant one. Now I must protest. I don't deserve such generosity, three French hens. They are just darling but I must insist, you've been too kind.

    All my love,
    Agnes
    =========================================================
    Dear John:
    Today the postman delivered four calling birds. Now really, they are beautiful, but don't you think enough is enough. You are being too romantic.

    Affectionately,
    Agnes
    ==========================================================
    Dearest John:
    What a surprise. Today the postman delivered five golden rings, one for every finger. You're just impossible, but I love it. Frankly, all those birds squawking were beginning to get on my nerves.

    All my love,
    Agnes
    ========================================================
    Dear John:
    When I opened the door today there were actually six geese laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again huh? These geese are huge. Where will I ever keep them? The neighbors are complaining and I can't sleep through the racket. Please stop.

    Cordially,
    Agnes
    ========================================================
    John:
    What's with you and those freaking birds?? Seven swans a swimming. What kind of damn joke is this? There's bird poop all over the house and they never stop the racket. I can't sleep at night and I'm a nervous wreck. It's not funny. So stop those freaking birds.

    Sincerely,
    Agnes
    =========================================================
    O.K. Buster:
    I think I prefer the birds. What the hell am I going to do with 8 maids a milking? It's not enough with all those birds and 8 maids a milking, but they had to bring their damn cows. There is manure all over the lawn and I can't move in my own house. Just lay off me, smartass.

    Agnes
    =========================================================
    Hey ****head:
    What are you? Some kind of sadist? Now there's nine pipers playing. And Christ do they play. They've never stopped chasing those maids since they got here yesterday morning. The cows are getting upset and they're stepping all over those screeching birds. What am I going to do? The neighbors have started a petition to evict me.

    You'll get yours !
    Agnes
    ==========================================================
    You rotten git:
    Now there's ten ladies dancing. I don't know why I call those sluts ladies. They've been balling those pipers all night long. Now the cows can't sleep and they've got diarrhea. My living room is a river of ****. The Commissioner of Buildings has subpoenaed me to give cause why the building shouldn't be condemned.

    I'm calling the police on you !

    Agnes
    =========================================================
    Listen ****head:
    What's with those eleven lords a leaping on those maids and ladies? Some of those broads will never walk again. Those pipers ran through the maids and have been committing atrocities with the cows. All twenty-three of the birds are dead. They've been trampled to death in the orgy. I hope you're satisfied, you rotten vicious swine.

    Your sworn enemy,

    Agnes
    =========================================================
    Dear Sir:

    This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers fiddling which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, Miss Agnes McHolstein. The destruction, of course, was total. All correspondence should come to our attention. If you should attempt to reach Miss McHolstein at Happy Dale Sanitarium, the attendants have been instructed to shoot you on sight.

    With this letter please find attached a warrant for your arrest.

    Cordially,
    Law Offices of
    Badger, Bender and Chole
     
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  3. HBB

    HBB Active Member

    LOL! Seen it before, but still class! :D
     
  4. the fish

    the fish Member

    Quality stuff thank you!
     
  5. Dave Payn

    Dave Payn Active Member

    I've also seen this before but it's always worth re-reading several times! Very funny!

    Ta, BMB!
     
  6. Rach_Horn

    Rach_Horn Member

    HAHA, very funny indeed !!
     
  7. Ruthless

    Ruthless Member

    There's also another version of this which they have been playing on Radio 2 recently narrated by Father Jack from Father Ted. They are both ace

    R
     
  8. yonhee

    yonhee Active Member

    Its great :D
     
  9. Will the Sec

    Will the Sec Active Member

  10. yonhee

    yonhee Active Member

    It only plays the piano part, but I dont get it?
     

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