Thank you everyone for your emails

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by Steve, Jan 9, 2006.

  1. Steve

    Steve Active Member

    Thanks for your emails in 2005

    My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the
    time and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months. Thank
    you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed and healthy.
    * Extra thanks to whoever sent me the email about rat poo in the glue
    on envelopes - cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I
    need to seal an envelope.
    * Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
    Because of your genuine concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because I
    know it can remove toilet stains, which is not exactly an appealing
    * I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be
    *****ed with a needle infected with AIDS.
    * I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
    water buffalo on a hot day.
    * I no longer go to shopping centres because someone might drug me
    with a perfume sample and rob me.
    * I no longer worry about my soul because at last count, I have
    363,214 angels looking out for me.
    * Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I
    forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five
    * I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl on the
    internet who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th
    * I no longer have any money at all in fact - but that will change
    once I receive the £15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for
    participating in their special on-line email program.

    Yes, I want to thank you all so much for looking out for me that I
    will now return the favour! If you don't send this email to at least
    154,000 people in the next 7 minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case
    of diarrhoea will land on your head at 5.00pm tomorrow afternoon. I
    know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next
    door neighbour's
    ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's hairdresser. DO IT NOW OR

  2. yonhee

    yonhee Active Member

    Lol, I got that, I was thinking of putting it on here but I deleted while I was thinking.
  3. Anno Draconis

    Anno Draconis Well-Known Member

    And, of course, once that Nigerian guy you emailed your bank details and passport number to puts the $25 million in your account!
  4. DaveR

    DaveR Active Member

    I thought he was putting the money in mine :confused:

    Great post! :tup
  5. stephen_clapton

    stephen_clapton New Member

    Pure class. I know LOTS of people who I can send that too - you know who you are ;)
  6. Griffin

    Griffin Active Member

    I was also the recipient of many of those... by Steve though! ;-)
  7. 2nd man down

    2nd man down Moderator Staff Member

    That Nigerian geezer must be pretty desperate to shift his cash, because the number of his emails I've deleted is unreal!!
  8. Steve

    Steve Active Member

    How he lies!!!!!!! Im gonna send you every single one from now on though Griff, mwahahaha

    "If you forward this on to 7 people in the next five minutes your gay haircut will miraculously look manly and cool" ;)
  9. Griffin

    Griffin Active Member

    I'll have you know that i've just been awarded most expensive looking haircut at the annual hade edge band awards!

    I get so much garbage sent to me.. I just ignore it!
    Still haven't been sh@t on yet by a pigeon either!
  10. super_sop

    super_sop Supporting Member

    Awwwsome dude!
  11. Cornishwomble

    Cornishwomble Active Member

    If anyone ever gets a chance to read "YesMan" by Danny Wallace there's a funny bit in it where he replies to the Nigerian e-mail and actually goes to Holland to the adress given on the e-mail to try and give the money