Stupid Questions Job Interviewers ask

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by bigmamabadger, Jun 16, 2004.

  1. bigmamabadger

    bigmamabadger Active Member

    Went for a job interview today. Don't fancy my chances much. How can you possibly answer:

    "So, what do you feel are your particular strengths?"
    Erm, my ability to er, I can, um, draw daisies? I can walk and talk at the same time? Or the old standby, I'm very adaptable and work well either ina team or alone?

    "And your weaknesses?"
    Like I'm going to tell you. I fall apart under the least pressure and have no more work ethic than a mongoose? My love of alcohol, fast cars and even faster men? I suffer from psychotic episodes, which incidentally is how I lost my last job?

    (My favourite)
    "The Borough operates an Equal Opportunities Policy, how would you go about this in your job?"
    Ah, so my BNP membership will be a problem will it? Well I'd try not to nick the disabled parking spaces in the staff carpark?

    (And the classic)
    "How would you go about organising an international conference"
    Er, do I get to know what it's for? Who needs to go? How many people can be expected to turn up? Are we talking G-MEX or the local TraveLodge? Am I on my own here or do I have a staff of dedicated gophers to help me? Give me something to go on here.

    "What do you think you can bring to the job and the Division?"
    Look, you've read my damn CV, I'm perfect. I answer every one one of the criteria set out in the spec and then some. And no, I have no problem with getting up at 3 in the morning to go and look for owls.

    Baaaaahh :evil:

  2. Keppler

    Keppler Moderator Staff Member

    Death to evil HR people who come up with these questions....

    or something nasty anyway... maybe not death, that's a bit extreme... something like piles could be good...

    My personal favourite...
    "Where do you see yourself in five years time"
    Far away, on a beach, earning 20%, moron...
  3. johnmartin

    johnmartin Active Member

    At my Admiralty Interview Board for the Navy I got asked if I had any problems with maybe being called upon one day to kill for my country. In typical laid back style I simply said "No problem". Even now I can still see one of the Captains writing "Psycho" on his notepad.
  4. bigmamabadger

    bigmamabadger Active Member

    Now that's a moment to treasure... :D
  5. Big Twigge

    Big Twigge Active Member

    One from my personal experinece
    "why do you want to come to this university?"
    I replied
    "Umm, not really sure, other than it does my course,I hadn't thought about it until now"
    unbelievablu they gave me an offer....stupidity or darn right honesty can get you somewhere!
  6. amgray

    amgray Member

    -or put them on Cornet :D :D :D
  7. JessopSmythe

    JessopSmythe Active Member

    Not an interview as such but an annual performance review that got a bit out of control.

    Boss: "Where do you see yourself in 5 years time?"
    Me: "Sat the otherside of this desk asking the stupid questions"
    Boss: "OK, and in 10 years?"
    Me: "Sat in that office over there, telling people like you what stupid questions to ask"

    I now work for a different company.
  8. akwarose

    akwarose Active Member

    can i say, you guys are really setting me up for an interview!! i can start planning all my answers to above stupid questions! i'll never be caught out again!!!!!
  9. flugelgal

    flugelgal Active Member

    Evil... I like it :lol: :lol:

    I never know what to say to those questions either. Especially when I look back 5 years and wonder whether I ever saw myself getting to where I am just now... Maybe we as interviewees should ask some back "Where would you like me to be in 5 years time?" "Why do you want to know?" "Are you scared that I'm too ambitious and will want your job?" "Are you scared that I'm not ambitious enough and will want to stagnate in this role and not move on, allowing less new blood to come into the department?"... :?

    Of course, at my last interview, I was really relaxed because one of the chaps on the panel (panel of 3 guys for a temporary post!) took the p*ss out of my bag (very bright cartoony colours on it). It made me forget how nervous I was as I laughed along with him and defended my "bad" taste in bright orange and blue (incidentally it is similarly coloured to a can of Irn Bru...). He still makes fun of that bag and I still remind him of the hard time he gave me in interview about it.... He says I must think it's a lucky bag because I got the job. :roll:

    Anyway, don't be disheartened, BMB. If you are right for the job then you'll get it. If you don't get it then the job is not good enough for you and so it'll be worth the wait for the right one. :D
  10. Okiedokie of Oz

    Okiedokie of Oz Active Member

    I applied for a teachning position a few years back for remote schools in a parent-funded program. At the interview, they read the ol CV and said, "You play tuba, trombone, trumpet, a few other weird things.....what about flute?"

    I was honest.........turns out the board was comprised of parents.....of flute players.

    However, I got the job, and before I left my best students were in the flute section!
  11. Well Worth It

    Well Worth It Active Member

    My personal favourite was used against me a few years ago.

    "How do you feel that you help people?"

    Is it possible that a more vague question is in existance??
  12. Tuba Miriam

    Tuba Miriam Member

    In the interview for my current job I was asked, "on a scale of 1 to 10 how much do you want this job?"

    How are you supposed to credibly answer that? I said, "11", which I regretted immediately - enough cheese for a sandwich, I thought. Apparently one of the other interview candidates answered, "8".... :shock:
  13. PeterBale

    PeterBale Moderator Staff Member

    A few years ago, when I was employed by Group 4, much of the company's publicity and advertising focused on a large yacht that they were sponsoring and crewing in various ocean-going races. When one of the Customer service Managers was asked, in his apprasial, what he would do if money was no object, he told them he'd "buy a submarine and sink that b****y yacht :shock:" - needless to say it did not go down particularly well :wink:

    As to job interviews, I reckon one of the best questions is that posed by Peter Cook to Dudley Moore, playing a one-legged man applying for the part of Tarzan: "Do you not think you are slightly deficient in the leg department for this role :?: "
  14. johnflugel

    johnflugel Active Member

    Peter Cook then says: 'It's not a problem, your right leg is fine. I have nothing against your right leg.....trouble is...neither have you'

  15. ScrapingtheBottom

    ScrapingtheBottom Active Member

    Ooo job interview questions...

    "Can you work as part of a team?" - for a night porters job, where I would be alone for my entire shift.

    "Tell me about your biggest failure" - erm no!

    of course my favourite one was...

    "Why are you here?" - either deeply philosophical or downright rude, got that job suprisingly.
  16. bruceg

    bruceg Active Member

    I haven't had an interview for years but I do love being on the other side of the table and asking the questions :) Especially when the interviewee has obviously tailored their CV for the job on offer. Full on evil mode ensues.

    Anybody who tries to evade "Tell us about one of your heroic failures, how it came about and what you did to rescue the situation" is dead in the water. My personal favourite, though, is when someone starts digging a hole for themselves, won't accept a hand out of it then readily accepts a shovel to dig even deeper. All you can do is sit back and feel a bit sorry for them before making it clear that there's no way they're getting the job :)

    Since we're interviewing engineers, we also like to throw in some questions just designed to let us see how they think e.g.

    "How many petrol stations do you think there are in the UK?"


    "It's said that everybody has an inner child - tell us about yours"

    Gotta love the look on their face when they get hit with one of those ;)
  17. ScrapingtheBottom

    ScrapingtheBottom Active Member

    Thing is, I know that there are about 15,000 petrol stations in the UK - I don't know why I do, I just do.

    He's called Bernard. He likes the tweenies and chocolate pudding.

    Did I get the job?
  18. bruceg

    bruceg Active Member

    Were it not for the fact that I've met you I would've said "Yes"... :D
  19. Brian Kelly

    Brian Kelly Active Member

    My former boss was interviewing someone for a job in my department (not me, fortunately) and one question he asked was

    "What kind of vegetable are you?"

    :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
  20. eckyboy

    eckyboy Member

    "If you were offered the position would you accept?"
    erm no..I'm just waiting for the pub to open and killing a bit of time.

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