stolen funnies

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by Sellers_Bird, Apr 6, 2005.

  1. Sellers_Bird

    Sellers_Bird Active Member

    stolen from a random man's blogger! :D


    One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
    I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
    So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
    "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"
    I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

    aparently im not having sex tonight either....
     
  2. cornetshell

    cornetshell Member

    :clap: :clap: :clap:

    very good
     
  3. Andy_Euph

    Andy_Euph Active Member

    Hahahahahahaha

    Amazing, proper slap down that!
     
  4. yonhee

    yonhee Active Member

    lol :lol:
     
  5. Naomi McFadyen

    Naomi McFadyen New Member

    :clap: :clap: LOL..... brilliant! Nice find mate!

    :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  6. andyp

    andyp Active Member

    Rotflmao...
     

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