Sometimes it is GOOD to reach 50!!

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by MRSH, Jan 13, 2009.

  1. MRSH

    MRSH Supporting Member

    [FONT=&quot]Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70![/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]01.[/FONT][FONT=&quot] Kidnappers are not very interested in you.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]02.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]03.[/FONT][FONT=&quot] No one expects you to run--anywhere.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]04.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]05.[/FONT][FONT=&quot] People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]06.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]There is nothing left to learn the hard way.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]07.[/FONT][FONT=&quot] Things you buy now won't wear out.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]08.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]You can eat supper at 4 pm.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]09.[/FONT][FONT=&quot] You can live without sex but not your glasses.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]10.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]You get into heated arguments about pension plans.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]11.[/FONT][FONT=&quot] You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]12.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]13.[/FONT][FONT=&quot] You sing along with elevator music.

    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]14.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]Your eyes won't get much worse.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]15[/FONT][FONT=&quot]. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]16.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]17.[/FONT][FONT=&quot] Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]18.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]19.[/FONT][FONT=&quot] You can't remember who sent you this list.

    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT]
    And never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
     
  2. theMouthPiece Related Searches

    Find more discussions like this one
    SIZE
    FONT
    navy
    COLOR
    quot
  3. jockinafrock

    jockinafrock Active Member

    Childbirth at 65


    With all the new technology regarding fertility, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit.



    'May I see the new baby?' I asked.



    'Not yet,' She said 'I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.'



    Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, 'May I see the new baby now?'



    'No, not yet,' She said.



    After another few minutes had elapsed,



    I asked again, 'May I see the baby now?'



    'No, not yet,' replied my friend.



    Growing very impatient, I asked, 'Well, when can I see the baby?'



    'WHEN HE CRIES!' She told me.



    'WHEN HE CRIES?' I demanded. 'Why do I have to wait until he CRIES?'



    'BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM, O.K.??!!' :-?

     
  4. daveredhead

    daveredhead Member

    welcome to tMP, i like your sense of humour, have read most of your threads and am a fan already
     
  5. jockinafrock

    jockinafrock Active Member

    Thanks for that! Nice t' be appreciated! :D
     
  6. John Brooks

    John Brooks Well-Known Member

    Interesting title to this thread....."Sometimes?" Personally, although I only did it once, I found that reaching 50 was much better than the alternative ;) I felt the same about 60 and hope to feel the same about 70 and 80 and.......... :)
     
  7. KMJ Recordings

    KMJ Recordings Supporting Member

    I'll let you know if lots of years.....probably ten after I hit 40 ;)
     
  8. ronnie_the_lizard

    ronnie_the_lizard Active Member

    How about:

    20: You get a choice of whether to play second baritone or BBb Bass.
     
  9. MRSH

    MRSH Supporting Member

    What do you mean AFTER you hit 40!!!! :biggrin:

    ****ducks and runs****
     
  10. KMJ Recordings

    KMJ Recordings Supporting Member

    :p

    I'll have you know I'm not even 38 yet....well, not until Monday, then 39, THEN I start counting backwards in my midlife crisis :biggrin:
     
  11. MRSH

    MRSH Supporting Member

    Boy, Keith, you must have had a tough paper round :eek:
     
  12. theMouthPiece Related Searches

    Find more discussions like this one
    SIZE
    FONT
    navy
    COLOR
    quot
  13. KMJ Recordings

    KMJ Recordings Supporting Member

    It's the stress of dealing with people like you ;)

    I've just been around this brass band thing a very, very long time....
     

Share This Page