Sometimes it is GOOD to reach 50!!

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by MRSH, Jan 13, 2009.

  1. MRSH

    MRSH Supporting Member

    [FONT=&quot]Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70![/FONT]
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    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]01.[/FONT][FONT=&quot] Kidnappers are not very interested in you.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]02.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]03.[/FONT][FONT=&quot] No one expects you to run--anywhere.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]04.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]05.[/FONT][FONT=&quot] People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]06.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]There is nothing left to learn the hard way.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]07.[/FONT][FONT=&quot] Things you buy now won't wear out.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]08.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]You can eat supper at 4 pm.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]09.[/FONT][FONT=&quot] You can live without sex but not your glasses.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]10.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]You get into heated arguments about pension plans.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]11.[/FONT][FONT=&quot] You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]12.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

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    [FONT=&quot]13.[/FONT][FONT=&quot] You sing along with elevator music.

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    [FONT=&quot]14.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]Your eyes won't get much worse.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]15[/FONT][FONT=&quot]. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]16.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]17.[/FONT][FONT=&quot] Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]18.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]

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    [FONT=&quot]19.[/FONT][FONT=&quot] You can't remember who sent you this list.

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    [FONT=&quot]And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT]
    And never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
     
  2. jockinafrock

    jockinafrock Active Member

    Childbirth at 65


    With all the new technology regarding fertility, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit.



    'May I see the new baby?' I asked.



    'Not yet,' She said 'I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.'



    Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, 'May I see the new baby now?'



    'No, not yet,' She said.



    After another few minutes had elapsed,



    I asked again, 'May I see the baby now?'



    'No, not yet,' replied my friend.



    Growing very impatient, I asked, 'Well, when can I see the baby?'



    'WHEN HE CRIES!' She told me.



    'WHEN HE CRIES?' I demanded. 'Why do I have to wait until he CRIES?'



    'BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM, O.K.??!!' :-?

     
  3. daveredhead

    daveredhead Member

    welcome to tMP, i like your sense of humour, have read most of your threads and am a fan already
     
  4. jockinafrock

    jockinafrock Active Member

    Thanks for that! Nice t' be appreciated! :D
     
  5. John Brooks

    John Brooks Well-Known Member

    Interesting title to this thread....."Sometimes?" Personally, although I only did it once, I found that reaching 50 was much better than the alternative ;) I felt the same about 60 and hope to feel the same about 70 and 80 and.......... :)
     
  6. KMJ Recordings

    KMJ Recordings Supporting Member

    I'll let you know if lots of years.....probably ten after I hit 40 ;)
     
  7. ronnie_the_lizard

    ronnie_the_lizard Active Member

    How about:

    20: You get a choice of whether to play second baritone or BBb Bass.
     
  8. MRSH

    MRSH Supporting Member

    What do you mean AFTER you hit 40!!!! :biggrin:

    ****ducks and runs****
     
  9. KMJ Recordings

    KMJ Recordings Supporting Member

    :p

    I'll have you know I'm not even 38 yet....well, not until Monday, then 39, THEN I start counting backwards in my midlife crisis :biggrin:
     
  10. MRSH

    MRSH Supporting Member

    Boy, Keith, you must have had a tough paper round :eek:
     
  11. KMJ Recordings

    KMJ Recordings Supporting Member

    It's the stress of dealing with people like you ;)

    I've just been around this brass band thing a very, very long time....
     

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