So you think YOU'RE stupid??

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by MRSH, Apr 1, 2004.

  1. MRSH

    MRSH Supporting Member

    A bit reminiscent of the 'Blonde Moments' thread :D :D :D :D

    I have a friend who's really stupid. Over the summer I dyed my hair red and I didn't tell anyone about it. So one day, she phoned me to go do something, and when I saw her she said, "Oh, you dyed your hair!'" Then she asked me what colour.

    During a daily Biology class, we were discussing how DNA is made by taking enzymes from eaten food and using the enzymes to build the DNA. ANYWAY, my teacher said, "Now, when I eat the carrot, the enzymes from the carrot help to build strands of DNA." And this girl in the front row asks without a hitch "So then is DNA made of carrots?"

    One time I was playing around in the kitchen when I decided it would be a good a idea to try and scare my dog with our black and decker dough mixer. So I put it on turbo speed and aimed it at the dog who started to run away. To prove to the dog that it was harmless I attempted to stop the blades with my hand. My fingers got bent back to my wrist before the mixer gave up and I had to turn it off and run it back manually to pull my fingers out

    My mum's friend is a teacher at a nearby high school. Well, one day, she assigned her class a paper on World War 2. The day it was due, one boy came in empty handed. The teacher asked him why. He simply replied, "I went to every library I could find, but I found NOTHING on World War 2. I found a lot of books on World War 11, though."

    I had an ex-girlfriend who was stupid. One day her stupid things were getting on my nerves and I asked her what her I.Q. was. She responded "20/20"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    My friend Rachel announced she was going to bleach her hair in the summer. My friend Tracey asked, "What colour?"

    I worked the night shift at a restaurant and every Friday night the same five deaf men would come to eat. They usually came very late and often stayed passed closing time. One night when they had stayed well passed closing time, I asked my boss if he could please give them some kind of sign that we would like to close the restaurant so they would leave. He reached up and shut off the music
  2. Nat

    Nat Member

    i frequently do this- ring up my mates and ask them where they are only to realise that i actually called thier house phone/work phones but i only realise when they tell me- i am the master of stupid questions and yes i am a natural blonde!!
  3. Straightmute

    Straightmute Active Member

    In my Inbox today:

    Have You Met Any of These People?
    ONE ----------------------------------------------------------
    > Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
    > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    > TWO~~~~~~
    The paragraph above doesn't amaze me because of what happened a couple of months ago. I was checking out at the local Foodland with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine.
    I picked up one of those "Dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "Divider" looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. >
    > Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today."
    She said "OK" and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.
    > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and
    > pulling it out very quickly. When inquired as to what she was doing, she
    > said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit
    card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy.
    > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    > I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car."Do you
    need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenient store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."
    Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she
    was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing
    paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
    > I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair > and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in Twister."
    > I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
    My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office
    of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems
    with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the
    branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
    Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a
    metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy
    machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
  4. Naomi McFadyen

    Naomi McFadyen New Member

    :lol: :lol: :lol:

    oh... and btw...
    and I don't think I'm stupid...
    I know I'm stupid

  5. Daniel Sheard

    Daniel Sheard Member

    This doesn't really count because it is deliberate, but a friend of mine has been known to go into a shop "Everything for a pound", and repeatedly ask the assistant how much various items are.

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