So just what are the Four Noble Truths really

Discussion in 'The Rehearsal Room' started by Paul McLaughlin, Jun 9, 2004.

  1. The existential programme notes are all fine and well but what do you think the Four Noble Truths really are?

    1. We will never hear the end of 1966 and all that
    2. Tim Henman will never win Wimbledon
    3. Nobody really cares about Victoria Beckham's "singing career"
    4. Michael Moore is unlikely to be the next President of the Disney Corp

    are amongst my first thoughts.
  2. Well Worth It

    Well Worth It Active Member

    1. George Bush will never become a Sheik
    2. I might survive without tMP
    3. YBS will win the next Euros
    4. It's getting sunnier in the UK and there will STILL be people who moan.
  3. ploughboy

    ploughboy Active Member

    You can never eat too much chocolate
    You can never drink too much beer
    You can never turn down a kebab
    You can never tell how ugly a woman is after 10 beers :shock:
  4. Dave Payn

    Dave Payn Active Member

    Four football home truths

    1. England won't win Euro 2004
    2. Neither will Scotland....
    3. Chelsea won't win the league next season
    4. Neither will Liverpool....

    (Sets himself up for a BIG fall! ;-))
  5. Amongst other things - Journey Into Freedom and Carnival of venice at Parson's Green Dave?
  6. Dave Payn

    Dave Payn Active Member

    Why not, Paul. I've always thought Carnival of Venice sounds good on a tuba.... good suggestion! Shall I baton wave or Will the Sec? ;-)
  7. ScrapingtheBottom

    ScrapingtheBottom Active Member

    Four noble banding truths:

    1. I will never play for YBS (not that I don't want to!!).
    2. Beer follows rehearsal just as night follows day.
    3. Flugal players will always believe that when tuning to electric tuners they must put as much vibrato on as possible.
    4. Below the first section there is at least one couple in every band.
  8. Will the Sec

    Will the Sec Active Member

    Now, I would point out that I am using inverted commas around the word "truths" here...

    The 13th Duke of Wimbourne was caught in the nurses quarters at night.

    The 13th Duke of Wimbourne was caught frolicking with the PUSS's wife whlist he was debating family values in the Hise.

    The 13th Duke of Wimbourne was caught with a checking out a clippie's tickets behind a Routemaster.

    The 13th Duke of Wimbourne was caught out at mid on. (He'd been flirting with the opposition's captain's wife, on the boundary, and a bat waving maniac was last seen chasing him from Getty's private pitch.)
  9. Dave Payn

    Dave Payn Active Member

  10. ScrapingtheBottom

    ScrapingtheBottom Active Member

  11. Dave Payn

    Dave Payn Active Member

  12. Will the Sec

    Will the Sec Active Member

  13. KWiper

    KWiper New Member

    1, Basses will never play in the same tempo as the rest of the band.
    2, Basses will rarely play in the same key as the rest of the band
    3, Bass instruments will never leave the bandroom unless en-route to a job.
    4, no matter what time, or in what order the players leave the bandhall, the bass player will always get served first at the bar

  14. bassinthebathroom

    bassinthebathroom Active Member

    5 ? Basses and Bass players will forever be stereotyped :?: :roll:
  15. sunny_jimbob

    sunny_jimbob Member

    Harshly, but fairly.
  16. Pythagoras

    Pythagoras Active Member

    1. Cornets will always lose their music.
    2. Trombonists will march too fast.
    3. Front row cornets won't do much packing away.
    4. It will rain during Pontins.
  17. mikelyons

    mikelyons Supporting Member

    1. Put two front row cornets alone in a room and you'll get a row.
    2. Put a horn player in the library and all your music will disappear.
    3. Kit drummers will always play in a different time zone than the band.
    4. You can never have enough Basses.


    1. Anyone who ends up on the top seat of the cornets becomes Victor Meldrew.
    2. Tell a horn player he's sharp and he'll think it's a compliment.
    3. Give a kit drummer a new toy and thinks he's a percussionist.
    4. Only the basses really know what tempo the conductor wants.
  19. Dave Payn

    Dave Payn Active Member


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