Snail joke

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by Dave Payn, Dec 10, 2003.

  1. Dave Payn

    Dave Payn Active Member

    Messages:
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    Location:
    Isle of Arran and lovin' it!
    ...so this guy is sitting at home watching tv when there's a knock at the door. gets up, opens it and sees this snail sitting there.

    He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can from the door. Thinks nothing more of it.

    A year later the same guy is sitting at home watching tv when there's a knock at the door. He gets up, opens the door and the snail is sitting there.

    and the snail says: "what the **** was that for?"
     
  2. Seedhouse

    Seedhouse Active Member

    Lol, ROFL, simple but effective :lol:
     
  3. ploughboy

    ploughboy Active Member

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    1,802
    Location:
    West Yorkshire
    another on your theme dave,

    What did the slug say to the snail? ? ? ? ?

    .
    .
    .
    .
    .

    Big issue?
     
  4. Dave Payn

    Dave Payn Active Member

    Messages:
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    Location:
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    Tut, tut! (made me larf, though! :)
     
  5. Naomi McFadyen

    Naomi McFadyen New Member

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    Location:
    Manchester
    lol! :lol:
    Keep 'em coming Dave!
     
  6. PeterBale

    PeterBale Moderator Staff Member

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    Location:
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    I thought he might have said "Shell we set up home together?"
     
  7. Seedhouse

    Seedhouse Active Member

    Is this going to turn into another bad joke thread! :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  8. Okiedokie of Oz

    Okiedokie of Oz Active Member

    Messages:
    2,091
    Location:
    Rockhampton, Qld, AUSTRALIA
    no just a blokey thing...

    you know
    Slugs and snalis
    and puppydog's tails....

    that's whatr big strapping brass players are made of! :lol:
     
  9. Dave Payn

    Dave Payn Active Member

    Messages:
    5,372
    Location:
    Isle of Arran and lovin' it!
    What do you mean 'Going to'? :wink:
     
  10. Seedhouse

    Seedhouse Active Member

    Uh-oh :? :roll:
    Lol, :D :lol:
     
  11. Okiedokie of Oz

    Okiedokie of Oz Active Member

    Messages:
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    Location:
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    Hey dyl, my good man...can we get this thing locked off???? no more snail jokes!!!
     
  12. BigHorn

    BigHorn Active Member

    Messages:
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    Location:
    Nottingham
    Don't forget the old classic.

    A man gives his girlfriend a piggy-back to a fancy dress party.
    When asked what he's come as he says 'A snail ----- this is Michelle'
     
  13. dyl

    dyl Active Member

    Messages:
    14,032
    At your service:

    -------------------------------
    There was once a snail who always dreamed of becoming a race-car driver. One day he learned that his uncle had died and left him a large amount of money! Now his dream could be realized! He bought himself a race car, souped it up, and then painted large red letter S's all over it.

    When he was at his first race, a friend of his asked why had had painted his car that way. "Simple," the snail replied. "When people see me and my race car go zooming down the track, I want them all to exclaim, `Look at that S-car go!'"
    -------------------------------
    This snail is at the police station. He's telling the officer on duty about how he was just mugged and robbed.

    "It was these two turtles!" the snail sobs. "They beat me up and took my money!"

    The officer asks "Did you get a good look at them?"

    The snail says "No! It all happened so fast!"
    --------------------------------
    What does a snail say when he rides a turtle?

    Wheeeeee!!!
    --------------------------------
    How do snails get their shells all shiny?
    They use snail polish
    --------------------------------
    Waiter, waiter! Do you serve snails.
    Sit down, sir, we'll serve anyone.
    --------------------------------
    A snail starts a slow climb up the trunk of an apple tree. He is watched by a sparrow who can't help laughing and eventually says "Don't you know there aren't any apples on the tree yet?" "Yes," said the snail, "but there will be by the time I get up there."
    --------------------------------
    8)
     
  14. Seedhouse

    Seedhouse Active Member

    Lol, :lol:
     
  15. Vickitorious

    Vickitorious Active Member

    Some of these are sooo bad! Lol :lol: :p
     
  16. Seedhouse

    Seedhouse Active Member

    Most of them orientate around the fact that snails are soooooo slow me thinks. Lol :lol:
     
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