I would never, ever, ever want to go out on a date with him! ....and he would never want to go out on a date with me.... ( it would never work....)
I remember saying to a lesbian co-worker "I'm going seeing Black Dyke." and got slapped really hard cos she thought I was taking the p**s!
I hope you were joking, because SM09 texted me saying he was very angry after reading this on invisible. They totally hate each other apparently!
Tell Stickman to take a pill. He needs to realise when he is being wound up! And you know what they say...... Fine lines and all that....
Now lets see what music is on your ipod......hmmmm....There's lots of brass band music on it! (actually its military band music....lol)
Now this is a scary sentence...... ''I'm going to do something really fun......like getting a gun, a real gun, and killing you....''
Something I read on another website: "updated December 2010" I didn't know you could travel through time already
Two coppers on your doorstep: "Good evening, sir. Are you the owner of a blue Honda motorbike, registration number xxxxxxx?" ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Said to a (small) friend by a bunch of right hard-looking characters, the smallest of whom was over 6 foot, and built like a brick netty: "Are you the guy who decked Bobby Keys?" (Bobby Keys being a very talented but particularly obnoxious session musician) But there was a happy ending . . . Small friend gulped, and said "Er . . . yes, but . . . " Hard case held out his hand, and said "Put it there, buddy - I been wanting to do that for YEARS!! Lemme buy you a drink!"
You're welcome, Mesmerist - I only stumbled across it whilst doing a search for something altogether different. And another one - courtesy of Don, an ex-boss who used to have a garage. Customer comes in with a car which was booked in for a very small job, when Don had a lot of other cars booked in, but he and his mechanics had planned out exactly how the work and work space would be divvied up between them. Customer gives the keys of his car to Don, and then says the words which transform Don's day into 'Fear and Loathing in Peasemarsh' . . . "Oh, and while you're at it, can you just . . . "