Santa Claus - A Scientific Inquiry!

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by MRSH, Dec 11, 2004.

  1. MRSH

    MRSH Supporting Member

    I am pleased to present the annual scientific inquiry into Santa Claus.

    1. No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.
    2. There are 2 billion children - persons under 18 - in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.
    3. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not countingstops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second (3,000 times the speed of sound). For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.
    4. The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth II.
    5. 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy, per second, each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

      In conclusion: If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.
  2. HBB

    HBB Active Member

    Where are you getting all these from? They're great! :) :tup
  3. six pints

    six pints Active Member

    are you trying to suggest santy isnt real?! :(
  4. MRSH

    MRSH Supporting Member

    Wiould I do such a thing:D with so many more tales of Xmas up my sleeve.

    In any case - it's not Xmas Eve yet:shock::eek:
  5. six pints

    six pints Active Member

    is in this house- were having xmas day tomorrow :) just without the pressies. cant be as bad as pretend xmas eve neway.
  6. TuTuKu

    TuTuKu Active Member

    no.. no..... shuts eyes, covers ears and shakes head.... it's magic
  7. Chris Sanders

    Chris Sanders Active Member

  8. ScrapingtheBottom

    ScrapingtheBottom Active Member

    Of course, according to the Heisenberg uncertainty principle, it is possible for Santa to be in many locations at the same time.Also are we talking US or european quintillions?
  9. WoodenFlugel

    WoodenFlugel Moderator Staff Member

    Blimey she hides that well - the last time I saw her she was a mere slip of a woman ;)

    Is that why Rudolph has a red nose then?? ;)
  10. TuTuKu

    TuTuKu Active Member

    And what about the children that are 18 and over? I hope santa still visits me now I'm 18!!
  11. Chris Sanders

    Chris Sanders Active Member

    Im over 18... Santa wont come to my house...

    My dad used the excuse that because we live in a new house, we havent got a chimney??
  12. yonhee

    yonhee Active Member

    Im very upset now :-(
  13. Soppy

    Soppy Member

    LOL! :D

    But you haven't taken account of the fact that Santa may have Bernard's Watch! So he could stop time and do it at a more sedate pace, with various trips to and from Lapland for the gifts.

    So Santa IS real. Anyway, I saw him the other day :)
  14. six pints

    six pints Active Member

    he was just in me house eating dinner!
  15. Aardvark

    Aardvark Member

    :biggrin: like it :biggrin:
  16. lolololololol.... I like :tup
  17. kevthedrummer

    kevthedrummer Member

    Verry funny We all know he use magic!!! how else would he do it LOL :)
  18. DublinBass

    DublinBass Supporting Member

    If Santa real does travel close to the speed of light then time in his frame of reference slows down considerably as compared to time in our frame of reference and time would almost appear to stand still.
  19. HBB

    HBB Active Member

    I like the Bernard's watch idea.. that's soo cool! :)
  20. euphfanhan

    euphfanhan Member

    I'm sure you put a lot of time and effort into that post, which was great, :clap: but also slightly worrying :shock: for two reasons:

    1. You obviously enjoy talking about santa and spent god knows how long working that out

    2. It was pointless anyway as everyone knows Santa exists. In fact I am very closely related to him...wait for it...HE'S MY DAD! Amazing I know...but keep it to yourself, I don't want him getting attacked my midget type people this near to christmas.

    By the exactly do you know these things? Is it something that particularly interests you?