Right then!!

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by 2nd man down, Oct 20, 2004.

  1. 2nd man down

    2nd man down Moderator Staff Member

    She sells sea shells on the sea shore.

    What's that all about then? It's a right rip off, you could pick em up yourself!!!! Bleedin cheek if you ask me!! :-?
     
  2. TheMusicMan

    TheMusicMan tMP Founder Staff Member

    ... and as for where's the piece of pickled pepper Peter Piper picked... well... he's just picked the piece of pickled pepper, so I guess it's in his hand eh!
     
  3. Dave Payn

    Dave Payn Active Member

    Simple Simon
    Met a pieman
    Going to the fair
    Said Simple Simon
    to the Pieman
    'What do you have there?'
    'What the **** does it look like, Dodo!!?'
     
  4. Dave Payn

    Dave Payn Active Member

    Mary had a little lamb

    With some roast potatoes, nice bit of broccoli, mint sauce.....
     
  5. ronnie_the_lizard

    ronnie_the_lizard Active Member

    It may be a rip off, but at least it is legal.

    A farmer's wife cutting tails off blind mice would constitute offences under the terms of the Protection of Animals Act 1911 (causing an animal to suffer unnecessarily, performing an operation without due care and attention), the Animals (Anaesthetics) Act 1954 (operating on sensitive structures of an animal without adequate provision for the abolishment of pain) and the Veterinary Surgeons Act 1966 (performance of an operation by a person not qualified as a veterinary surgeon).
     
  6. ronnie_the_lizard

    ronnie_the_lizard Active Member

    "Twinkle twinkle little star,
    how I wonder what you are"

    My guess would be that it's a Star........
     
  7. Dave Payn

    Dave Payn Active Member

    Well, you don't have to 'shell' out for them if you don't want to..... ;-)
     
  8. 2nd man down

    2nd man down Moderator Staff Member

    I'm suddenly very impressed by you!! :D LOL LOL LOL
     
  9. PeterBale

    PeterBale Moderator Staff Member

    "There was an old woman who lived in a shoe,
    She had so many children . . . (she didn't know what to do)"
     
  10. Dave Payn

    Dave Payn Active Member

    Now that's funny, Peter! :D :)
     
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  12. Cornishwomble

    Cornishwomble Active Member

    Would "Wee Willie Winkie" now be subject to the sex offenders act?:dunno
     
  13. ronnie_the_lizard

    ronnie_the_lizard Active Member

    The NYBBW used to sing a charming version of "Baa Baa Black Sheep" that goes something like:

    Baa Baa Black Sheep, have you any wool?







    No, F**K OFF
     
  14. Dave Payn

    Dave Payn Active Member

    Oldest one in the book...

    Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
    Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
    All the king's horses and all the king's men
    Had scrambled eggs for tea again
     
  15. Dave Payn

    Dave Payn Active Member

    Talking of the old woman who lived in a shoe... must have been 'sole' destroying.....
     
  16. ronnie_the_lizard

    ronnie_the_lizard Active Member

    Come to think of it, revealing the identities of your other customers, such as the Master, The Dame, and even revealing the address of the little Boy - I think the Black sheep has definitely breached the data protection act.
     
  17. Cornishwomble

    Cornishwomble Active Member

    It must have been hard bringing them all to heel :-?
     
  18. Dave Payn

    Dave Payn Active Member

    All this reminds me (excellent idea for a thread, by the way, Crawford!) of a book I have at home somewhere called '100 Pretentious Nursery Rhymes'. Whilst I can't remember any of the new versions off the top of my head, basically, it takes well-worn Nursery rhymes and re-tells them in a sort of 'never use one small word when two multi syllablic ones will obfuscate your meaning more efficaciously' type of way. Must dig that book out and share a few with you.... ;-)
     
  19. ronnie_the_lizard

    ronnie_the_lizard Active Member

    What, you mean keeping the Upper hand and puttilng them in their p'Lace - that sort of thing. A keen eye and a sharp tongue should keep them well and truly in step
     
  20. Maestro

    Maestro Active Member

    Sat here reading all these replies got me wondering.


    Will we really miss Dave and his puns? :-(
     
  21. Maestro

    Maestro Active Member

    Ah well, if you can't beat them.......



    Little miss Muffet,
    Sat on her tuffet,
    Eating her curds and whey.
    Along came a spider,
    And sat down beside her, And miss Muffet said,
    "Foxtrot Oscar, this is mine!!"
     
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