Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by MRSH, Aug 24, 2004.

  1. MRSH

    MRSH Supporting Member

    Pure Evil!

    She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

    On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

    On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.

    When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells,dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

    When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning and mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere.

    Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

    Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit... Repairmen refused to work in the house...The maid quit... Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

    A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

    Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

    The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back...

    Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth...But only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

    A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home......including the curtain rods.

  2. flugelgal

    flugelgal Active Member

    Classic! :lol:
  3. BassoProfundo

    BassoProfundo Member

    Sheer class :twisted:
  4. WoodenFlugel

    WoodenFlugel Moderator Staff Member

    Wow :shock: I'd heard of people taping fish to the backs of radiators before but that raises the bar a few notches!!!!
  5. bigmamabadger

    bigmamabadger Active Member

    My other brother worked for a removals firm for a while and they once had to move a scorned wife out of her house. She hadn't told the husband what was happening, so they had to clear the entire house while he was out at work. Then she distributed the contents of the cellar the husband had been collecting for 20-odd years to some very happy removal men...
  6. aimee_euph

    aimee_euph Member

    very funny!
  7. I used to work in a theatre kitchen and some of the other chefs sewed prawns into the lining of this poor guy's jacket (he was a bit of a pain but even still...). The really sad/bad thing was that he didn't seem to notice, wearing the jacket to work for the next few days. As I recall he didn't see the funny side of things when it was pointed out to him that he smelt like a jar of kite kat!

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