Patches

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by chrisjohnston, Jul 28, 2010.

  1. chrisjohnston

    chrisjohnston Member

    Messages:
    414
    Location:
    Milton Keynes
    The other day I needed to go to the A & E at our hospital. Not wanting to sit there for 4 hours, I put on my old Army fatigues and stuck a patch onto the front of my shirt that I had downloaded off the Internet.
    When I went in, 3/4 of the people got up and left. I guess they decided that they weren't that sick after all.

    Cut at least 3 hours off my waiting time.

    Here's the patch. attached! Feel free to use it the next time you're in need of quicker emergency service.

    It also works at DSS. Saved me 5 hours.

    At the laundrette, three minutes after entering, I had my choice of any machine, most still running.
    Don't try it at McDonald's though.....
    The whole crew got up and left and l never
    got my order...
     

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  2. lynchie

    lynchie Active Member

    Messages:
    5,057
    Location:
    South London
    Hilarious, do you do stand up?
     
  3. chrisjohnston

    chrisjohnston Member

    Messages:
    414
    Location:
    Milton Keynes
    Only when I have to speak to audiences when I am having a stick wagging session!!
     
  4. scotchgirl

    scotchgirl Active Member

    Messages:
    981
    Where's the eye rolling icon when you need it?
     
  5. WoodenFlugel

    WoodenFlugel Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    9,070
    Location:
    Leicestershire
    Here: :roll::roll:
     
  6. chrisjohnston

    chrisjohnston Member

    Messages:
    414
    Location:
    Milton Keynes
    Excellent!!
     
  7. Splitzer

    Splitzer Member

    Messages:
    153
    Location:
    Swansea
    So OP it's ok for foreigners to stay in their own country and mass produce cheap instruments for you to import and sell but not to settle here?
    Maybe the ones in front of you in A&E are over here to "handcraft" British instruments.
     
  8. chrisjohnston

    chrisjohnston Member

    Messages:
    414
    Location:
    Milton Keynes
    That's a bit harsh, Our factory is a quality one with ISO9000 certification.
    This was put on as a joke, obviously you don't see the funny side.
    Not many British instruments are actually British, truth be known.
    Please don't try & knock something you don't know.
     
  9. dyl

    dyl Active Member

    Messages:
    14,032
    [​IMG]
     
  10. David Mann

    David Mann Member

    Messages:
    738
    Location:
    Athies, Pas de Calais, France
    McDonald's, like any large business in the UK, have to check all their workers are eligible to work in the UK (my daughter is a manager there). The only illegal immigrant story I could find for the UK was a McD Franchisee who shopped his own employees for fake documents. They are also pretty litigious. But hey, it's only a laugh!
     
  11. Splitzer

    Splitzer Member

    Messages:
    153
    Location:
    Swansea
    I do see the funny side of your post, just not the funny side you intended. I'm sure your factory is great - as long as "they" are over there and not here ahead of you and Nick Griffin in the waiting room at A&E. I quite agree that not many British instruments are actually British, but I don't try to make a living selling them while bemoaning the amount of foreigners in the UK. Sorry for my ignorance.
     
  12. chrisjohnston

    chrisjohnston Member

    Messages:
    414
    Location:
    Milton Keynes
    No issues, just to make it clear this is a joke and was not intended to attack anyone! It only relates to illegal immigrants, I have nothing against any oter nationality living here as long as it is legal, I work with many nationalities every day and have many as good friends.
     
  13. Lawrencediana

    Lawrencediana Member

    Messages:
    251
    Location:
    Bournemouth
    Oh dear it does look like a real sense of humour failure here. Is there a danger with all this doom and gloom around, that we might be taking ourselves a tad too seriously. For what its worth I did find it funny.

    PS I hope the Helios thing is going well
     
  14. chrisjohnston

    chrisjohnston Member

    Messages:
    414
    Location:
    Milton Keynes
    Thanks Lawrence it was all just a Joke.

    The Helios project is moving along nicely thanks.
     
  15. worzel

    worzel Member

    Messages:
    642
    A find a white hood works better, especially if there's a group of us. Hope there's an exception for them in the proposed ban.
     
  16. mikelyons

    mikelyons Supporting Member

    Messages:
    10,094
    Location:
    Wigan
    It's not working! :cry:
     
  17. animal.22

    animal.22 Member

    Messages:
    243
    Location:
    Nth Lincolnshire

    oh please please please lighten up people!!!!!!!! For heavens sake when are we going to stop being soooo pc and get back to normal!!!!!!!!!!
     
  18. geordiecolin

    geordiecolin Active Member

    Messages:
    2,376
    Location:
    Hetton-le-Hole, Tyne and Wear
    Alternatively, when did tMp become so right wing? Recently, I've often found myself double checking to make sure that I haven't stumbled onto the Daily Mail comments page instead by mistake.

    When are we going to stop being sooooo bigoted and get back to normal!!!!!!!
     
  19. themusicalrentboy

    themusicalrentboy Active Member

    Messages:
    1,246
    gordon bennett, let's all stop making jokes for fear of offending someone. Deary me!
     
  20. Splitzer

    Splitzer Member

    Messages:
    153
    Location:
    Swansea
    You'll be laughing at ginger six fingered chubby fen-boys next!
     
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