It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink? Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. Never criticize your wife's faults. It might have been those faults that kept her from getting a better husband. What's the speed of dark? Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play? At age 66 I'm bisexual. I said bye to sex. Money talks but all mine ever says is "goodbye." Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. He who laughs last, thinks slowest When you go into court you're putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough get out of jury duty.