Next time you complain about your job...

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by manx_yessir, Oct 27, 2005.

  1. manx_yessir

    manx_yessir Member

    Think of this guy.....



    Hi Sue,

    Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad
    day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so
    thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so
    bad after all.

    Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few
    technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the
    sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit.

    This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is
    this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This £20,000 piece
    of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful
    temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which
    is taped to the air hose Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've
    used it several times with no complaints.

    What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and
    stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm
    water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

    Everything was going well until all of sudden, my butt started to itch. So,
    of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.

    Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my
    back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The
    hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.

    Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to
    it. However, the crack of my ar@e was not as fortunate.

    When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
    jellyfish into the crack of my ar@e.

    I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.

    His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other
    divers, were all laughing hysterically.

    Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing
    in-water decompression stops totalling thirty-five minutes before I could
    reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.

    When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
    As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running
    down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my ar@e as soon as I got in the chamber.

    The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my hole
    was swollen shut.

    So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it
    would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your backside. Now repeat to
    yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."

    :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:
     
  2. theMouthPiece Related Searches

    Find more discussions like this one
    Hi Sue
    water decompression
    job
    jellyfish
    hot water machine
  3. rutty

    rutty Active Member

    :D :clap:

    Who cares if it's not true when it's that funny ;)
     

Share This Page