Newbie's Guide to Butlins

Discussion in 'The Rehearsal Room' started by DublinBass, Jan 13, 2011.

  1. DublinBass

    DublinBass Supporting Member

    For those who have never been to Butlins, what would the Butlins' veterans be able to share?

    Layout, venues, bars, lingo, etc...

    Thanks in advance
  2. Laserbeam bass

    Laserbeam bass Active Member

    First rule of thumb. Get your bearings from the map that Butlins thoughtfully provide. Sky Pavillion, C Section, Reds, 1st section + results for all sections, and the bars are most important.

    If you like to eat Pizza, (not the one with the soft and mushy base that is favoured by New Yorkers), then a visit to the Italian delights of Papa John's is not to be missed. Of course, you could always go for the traditional Fish and Chip supper. Must be pointed out, that to truly enjoy it you must have the F & C on the Friday night, with a side portion of Mushy Peas. Other than that there is a Burger King that is more expensive than the Motorway services versions.

    Bars, there are a few scattered around, and it is always best to walk up to any of the bars, during the Saturday afternoon with a wad of £50 pound notes, and shout in the loudest possible voice "What does a man have to do to get served around here?" Everyone around you wil applaud, and let you purchase your beverage before them. This may well involve a few of the less common words in the English language, that are encouragements, rather than curses and threats. My favourite haunt is the Sun and Moon, but if there is a decent football (soccer) match on then the Front Room is your hostelry of choice. At no point must you walk upto a bar and try and do an impersonation of Dick Van Dyck in Mary Poppins. The bar staff being from a different part of the country will not take kindly to being spoke to in an unusual dialect, and will probably take offence.

    If you can keep the frenetic pace going, and you want to hear the amazing sounds of the Grimestein oompah band, then you must visit Jaks. It is advisable to get there relatively early, as the 4 seats are usually taken quite early.

    It is also imperative that drink as much of your own alcohol as is humanly possible and stack the empty cans on your window ledge facing the front of the accomodation.

    Anyway, I'm sure there is something I have forgotten. Oh Yeah, you have blow a bit of metal for about 12 minutes, which is a pain, as it gets in the way of the drinking.

    For levels of require inebriation please refer to this reply I made to your fellow countryman last year when he broached the same subject

    How much is too much?
  3. WoodenFlugel

    WoodenFlugel Moderator Staff Member

    Its like Pontin's, but the carpet in the chalets isn't sticky. :p
  4. Laserbeam bass

    Laserbeam bass Active Member

    Eloquently put :biggrin:
  5. WoodenFlugel

    WoodenFlugel Moderator Staff Member

    ^^ joking...

    I'll get shot if I don't correct myself...

    As well as Laserbeam's excellent and comprehensive post above, if you do have preconceptions based on Pontin's then you'll be pleasantly surprised.

    The accommodation is warm, draft-free and habitable. There are several places to eat on site, and if you want to cook in the rooms then the facilities are basic but usable. The entertainment is generally good, if a little 'brass' heavy. There are plenty of bars - The Sun and Moon, The Front Room, Bar Rosso(?), plus the bars in Centre Stage, Jacks and Reds. There is a huge brass trade village there for most of the weekend, and if you want to drop out of the drink fest there are plenty of other things to keep you occupied too.

    In short its a cracking weekend, and not just because it's a total beer-fest like Pontin's used to be. Its the best brass event of the year by a street and I for one will continue to go back for as long as they hold it.

    I'm just hoping for a better piece next year....
  6. DublinBass

    DublinBass Supporting Member here is the summary I have so far...

    Centre Stage (Skyline)-Desford (Fri), Champ (Sat/Sun)
    Reds-1st (Sat), Chicago Blues Brothers (Sat), Jr. Ensemble (Sun), Youth (Sun)
    Royal Arthur Suite-3rd (Sat) , 4th (Sat)
    Lakeside-2nd (Sat)
    Where are Results? Brighouse?

    Pizza (Papa John's)
    Fish and Chips
    Burger King (pricey)

    Sun and Mon
    Front Room (Skyline)
    Bar Rooso (Skyline)
    Centre Stage Bar (is this in the actual venue?)
    Jack and Reds

    Trade Stands
    Brass Band Village?
  7. Laserbeam bass

    Laserbeam bass Active Member

    Trade stands are in the Skyline, right in the middle, on the raised section

    The bars in Centre Stage and Reds are not open during the contest :(

    Just look for me and Essex Elvis. I will be wearing a black blazer with BBB on it, and he will be in civvies looking a bit like a bad Elvis impersonator. If you find us you will be in the Sun and Moon.
    Last edited: Jan 13, 2011
  8. DublinBass

    DublinBass Supporting Member

    Maybe we can persuade them to open it up for at least the entertainment contest?
  9. WoodenFlugel

    WoodenFlugel Moderator Staff Member

    The results are always in Reds at 8:00pm. Expect lots of East-coast razzamatazz. Its not your usual brass band contest result format where a couple of old geezers in tweed tell us all 'they've had a lovely day'. A tip though - given there are four lots of results on Saturday night and especially with a huge first section, it gets busy in there. If you want to corral some seats for 'your crowd' you'd better get there early (just after the last band on in the first section for example ;)).

    In some ways its good that the bars are closed during the Sunday entertainments contest - for me its a welcome relief to sit nursing a bad head and watch the entertainment contest. The Sun and Moon and Bar Rosso and I think The Front Room will all be open on Sunday for the less wussy drinker.


    Don t buy any ale in Butlins .Go out of main gate ,turn left and 200 yds on left is BEACHCOMBER PUB you will see it from ale and good grub.For proper beer get down into Skeggy and go in THE RED LION,a Wetherspoons house.Fill hipflasks up with booze in chalet before you go out in Butlins and use it to top up Butlins ale if you are forced to drink it.....still a great weekend.:cool:
  11. whitewitch

    whitewitch Member

    Thanks Stuart. Will take a bottle of Jack Daniels ;)
  12. John_D

    John_D Member

    During the evenings entertainment in Centre stage and reds, but beer in 4 pint jugs to save having to go back to the bar too often :D
  13. StellaJohnson

    StellaJohnson Active Member

    and don't buy a day pass, apparently they are really expensive..............:biggrin:
  14. Chunky

    Chunky Active Member

    Check with Ian Perks for what flavour the sausages will be!
  15. Laserbeam bass

    Laserbeam bass Active Member

    If you are room only then I can recommend the Full Breakfast in the Sun and Moon. It is a bit pricey as the toast and Coffee/Tea are not icnluded in the price, but sets you up for the possibility of a 5 hour + wait to go on stage.

    If you are half board, ask for the special scaffolding attachment for you breakfast plate :rolleyes:
  16. Red Elvis

    Red Elvis Active Member

    I will be having words with Brother LBB as it is an unwritten rule of our sacred order that "eating's cheating " other than the traditional hot dog with all the trimmings consumed at silly O clock in the morning after Jaks has closed. Beer is after all a food group of its own.

    Pat - you'll find that actually all the facilities are concentrated fairly close together in the main pavillion and the bar locations are obvious. The food facilities are likewise easily findable. Reds and Jaks bar are just a little way outside the main skyline area.

    The chalets are actually of a pretty good standard , however I tend only to sleep and shower therein before heading out of a morning and not getting back till the next morning !!

    Bring plenty of spare change as the good ladies from Boobs and Brass will relieve you of it on many occasions as they fundraise for their excellent cause.

    It really is a cracking weekend. My only quibble would be the lack of real ale although last year there were a number of bottles of Bateman's fine "Victory" Ale available on the friday night. Till I drank them all.I do find that the Carlsberg / Tetleys / Fizzy keg rubbish becomes acceptable after about the tenth pint though.

    It is a point of honour also to be amongst the last to be chucked out of Jaks of an early morning. Myself , LBB and the Redbridge tuba section are often to be found counted within this exclusive number.

    I'll be easily identifiable in my motorhead shorts , red DM's and ridiculous facial hair.
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2011
  17. Laserbeam bass

    Laserbeam bass Active Member

    I thought we amended the verbal constitution to allow for a cholestorol buster first thing, or was that rescinded at the AGM last year :confused:

    However, I was purely pointing out that establishments are available where sustenance of the solid variety is sold, but was in no way condoning use of said establishments.

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