New Scientific Discovery

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by brasscrest, Oct 12, 2005.

  1. brasscrest

    brasscrest Active Member

    A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the
    heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been
    tentatively named "Governmentium".

    Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons,
    and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

    These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
    surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

    Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
    detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

    A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days
    to complete when it would normally take less than a second.

    Governmentium has a normal half-life of three years; it does not decay, but
    instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
    neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact,
    Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each
    reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

    This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate
    that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in
    concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical
    Morass". You will know it when you see it.
  2. brassneck

    brassneck Active Member

    ... so it's really that dense then? Must be some size of cabinet to hold it as well! ;)
  3. brasscrest

    brasscrest Active Member

    Reference the size of the dome on the US Capitol building, to start with.
  4. jingleram

    jingleram Active Member

    Nice one!! Must admit i was fooled until the third paragraph! Every word of it true though!!
  5. flower girl

    flower girl Member

    clever and very true