New Joke...well it is to me anyway.

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by Maestro, Oct 28, 2003.

  1. Maestro

    Maestro Active Member

    Two Irishmen were walking past the job centre, when they saw a sign in the window for tree fellers.
    Paddy said, "Now ain't that a shame, there's only two of us."


    Well I like it anyway :lol: :lol:
     
  2. lynchie

    lynchie Active Member

    oh dear...
     
  3. Maestro

    Maestro Active Member

    Was it that bad? :oops:

    Hey, perhaps we can have a new weekly/monthly competition for the worst joke, in the best possible taste of course, seeing as this is a fmaily site.
    Hmmmmmmmmm, let me think...

    Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
    A: Fsh.

    Q: What do you call a pig with three eyes?
    A: Piiig.
     
  4. dyl

    dyl Active Member

    What's E.T. short for?

    'Cos he hasn't got long legs. :oops:




    I'll get my coat.................
     
  5. lynchie

    lynchie Active Member

    Q: What's brown and sticky?

    A: A Stick!

    Q: What's blue and fluffy?

    A: Blue fluff!

    Q: What's pink and fluffy?

    A: Blue fluff in disguise!
     
  6. Maestro

    Maestro Active Member

     
  7. PeterBale

    PeterBale Moderator Staff Member

    A golden oldie:

    What hangs on the wall and ticks :?: . . . 'Ticky paper :wink:

    A more recent one:

    What do you call Postman Pat after he's retired :?: . . . . Pat :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  8. Naomi McFadyen

    Naomi McFadyen New Member

    lol! :lol:
    Some of those were funny...


    What's the last thing to go through a flies mind when it hits a windscreen?


    It's ****! lol!
    (Edit: Mod)
     
  9. frisp

    frisp Member

    Why is an elephant big, grey and wrinkled :?:





















    'cos if it was small, round and white it'd be an aspirin :p
     
  10. frisp

    frisp Member

    What's red and falls off walls?

    Humpty Fire Engine 8)
     
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  12. PeterBale

    PeterBale Moderator Staff Member

    Have you ever tried to fit one in the washing machine and iron it :?: :wink: :lol:
     
  13. johnflugel

    johnflugel Active Member

    Why do Irishman wear two condoms?
















    To be sure, to be sure
     
  14. lynchie

    lynchie Active Member

    How many spaniards does it take to change a light bulb?

    Juan
     
  15. PeterBale

    PeterBale Moderator Staff Member

    How many sopranos does it take to change a light-bulb :?: . . . Only one: she stands still holding the bulb and the world revolves around her :!:

    How many conductors does it take to change a light-bulb :?: . . . No-one knows, 'cause nobody watches the conductor :cry: :lol: :lol:
     
  16. Dave Payn

    Dave Payn Active Member

    I include this trumpet gag because in a roundabout way, it actually happened to me. I'll explain afterwards.

    How do trumpet players normally greet each other?
    'Hi, I'm better than you'.

    Now on my first day at the RCM (September 1982. I did actually only last a year....) a fellow first year student introduced himself to me and said, 'There's a bit of playing here other than the lessons, but you won't get any 'cos I'm better than you'. Still, he lasted the four years so he must have been right but what a way to introduce yourself!

    He remains nameless (for now, save that his initials are DS). All I can say is that I hope the ravages of time have mellowed him from the class A1 p*at he was then!

    p.s. Dyl, I had an asterisked word in my Limerick 'edited' and rightly so. That same word appears on this thread in exactly the same asterisked way yet it remains. Consistency, please.

    Regards

    Dave
     
  17. andywooler

    andywooler Supporting Member

    How Many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?































    A Fish :!:
     
  18. rutty

    rutty Active Member

    Please stop..... :cry:
     
  19. PeterBale

    PeterBale Moderator Staff Member

    This must be serious - Rutty isn't under contruction any more :shock: :wink: :lol:
     
  20. The Cornet King

    The Cornet King Active Member

    How do you know if a percussionist is knocking at you door :?: :?:









    The knocking gradually gets faster!! (Sorry percussionists!) :D
     
  21. PeterBale

    PeterBale Moderator Staff Member

    You forgot the other bit about him not knowing when to come in :wink: :lol: :lol:
     
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