More late train excuses

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by johnmartin, Oct 24, 2006.

  1. johnmartin

    johnmartin Active Member

  2. smila

    smila Member

    Oh my goodness that's sick!
    I am shocked and disturbed...
    What would they have done if it was a human??
  3. sevenhelz

    sevenhelz Active Member

    i can't decide whether to laugh or... no, just laugh
  4. persins

    persins Member

    Not bad!
    One of my mates was telling me about a train that was written off by a flock of sheep!
    Apparently the farmer put in a compensation claim to British Rail for 120 sheep. It seems that they drifted onto the line and were hit by a train.

    When they tried to repair the engine, all they found were burnt bit of sheep everywhere and decided that there was too much damage to bother with in the end!

  5. persins

    persins Member

    Depends who's first on the scene, British Transport police or Standard Police.

    According to a British Transport Policeman, they just find the head then get the rest of the body out the way so the trains can carry on through. He has been known to exaggerate once in a while though!!

    The standard police would probably make it into a proper crime scene and do all the forensic investigations etc!!!
  6. flower girl

    flower girl Member

    Thats horrible.
  7. brassneck

    brassneck Active Member

    :eek: ... she hasn't shown her paws around here for a while!
  8. Flutey

    Flutey Active Member

    I was wondering why the first reply wasn't from her...:eek:
  9. brassneck

    brassneck Active Member

    - I think she has mentioned in the past that she had smouldering looks! :cool:
  10. Flutey

    Flutey Active Member

    :clap: :clap: :clap:
  11. SuperMosh

    SuperMosh New Member

    Flaming badger!

    I'll get my coat.
  12. Flutey

    Flutey Active Member

    Eeek, calm down Pete! Anyway, you live in the middle of nowhere, didn't realise you had trains up there, thought it was all diggers. :confused: ;)
  13. ian perks

    ian perks Active Member

    ive heard some good ones so far this week;and reasons for delays:
    1 A cow on the track just outside Cambourne(Monday) i should have brought my Butchers knifes(LOL) it was on the track we were going along.
    2 The Driver and his mate forgot what time they should have been booking on in Penzance.
    3 A Bridge accident just outside Leeds yesterday train had to be diverted.
    4Technichall Fault on Train at Edinburgh
    5Singals problem at Crewe on monday 25 mins late leaving Birmingham

    If i get any more on way back i will post them
  14. SuperMosh

    SuperMosh New Member

    Yeah we have trains. In fact one is due next week some time.

    As for the diggers, you are probably better off talking to Shippo. Like you need a reason anyway ;)

    Perky - far from band, never far from a PC is he?

    Used to work on a railway station back int he Uni days. Some of the real reasons for trains getting delayed are great "Accident on the line" usually meant "train driver being given several shots of strong coffee due to being drunk"
  15. Flutey

    Flutey Active Member

    Yeh, thought as much

    You're just jealous, we all know you want a kiss from him.
  16. bagpuss

    bagpuss Active Member

    We'd never stop trains for a badger on the line, no matter how protected/rare/smouldering she/it was!! Surely though, if it was smouldering it's more likely to be well done than rare?? oh well......

    Sheep on the line are a hazard and usually requires trains to be stopped and/or cautioned
    Cows on the line definitely requires trains to be stopped and/or cautioned

    Leaves on the line.....hmmm, badly put this one, it's actually what they leave behind when they get squashed by trains that causes the problems.

    Pollen causing radiators to block (as per Arriva Trains Wales latest excuse for late running Aberystwyth to Birmingham trains)............hmmmm, do some maintenance on your trains and it shouldn't be a problem!!

    Bridge bashes are quite a common problem througout the network and usually stems from stupid road vehicle drivers not knowing the height of their vehicles or not caring or something. Anyway, traffic has to be stopped in 99% of cases just in case something minor happens like the bridge falling down when the train goes over it or something like that.

    Technical problems on the train???? Was it a Virgin train by any chance?? I think the phrase technical problem was invented by/for them!

    Signal problems. Yeah, this one causes hassle. I know personally that if I was travelling by train that I'd want all the signals to be working correctly thanks very much.

  17. bigmamabadger

    bigmamabadger Active Member

    NOOOOOOOO! Arrghghgh! Bertram is dead and all you can do is make jokes!? Badgerists...
    I told him train-surfing was only for humans, but would he listen.
    The Badger has been visiting the South Wales Badgers, and since Jessop-Smythe's computer is so high spec it resembles bits left over from the USS Enterprise, I daren't touch it.
    But I'm back and this time it's personal. Apparently.

    I do indeed smoulder, but have never quite managed to ignite myself. Although there was that lighted cigarette down the bra incident, but we won't go there right now.
  18. Flutey

    Flutey Active Member

    I didn't make cruel jokes! I'm loyal to Badgers. Who was Bertram then? Were you and he close? *sympathy*

    No... don't go there right now, or, indeed, ever... ;)
  19. DaveR

    DaveR Active Member

    And I thought the stripes were natural, I had no idea they were singe marks!
  20. ian perks

    ian perks Active Member

    Thats right me old mate but im back now and that Baritone will be put to use tonight:clap: