Monster Raving Loony Party

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by sugarandspice, May 6, 2005.

  1. sugarandspice

    sugarandspice Active Member

    Was introduced to this party this morning and all i can say is oh my good how funny!!

    I could quote everything from the website because i find it so entertaining, but will try to limit it!
    so here goes:


    Our team of experts has decided that Income Tax has not proved popular with the public and will therefore be abolished. It was started in order to finance the Napoleonic war in 1799 and we now believe that the time is right to announce the cessation of hostilities with Napoleon. Some of the money left in the coffers will be used to fill in our part of the Channel Tunnel in case no one has mentioned it to the French. Any remaining money will be strategically placed on a horse at the 3-30 at Haydock Park at odds of at least 12/1 in order to see us through until the next election. Income Tax will be officially replaced by people lending the government a bob or two at the end of the week when we’re a bit skint.

    Other policies:

    We will issue a 99p coin to save on change.

    The Official Monster Raving Loony Party will not join the single European currency. We will invite all Europeans countries to JOIN THE POUND.

    Rich people should be taxed to pay for the printing of money, as they use most of it.

    Tax credits will be paid to nice people. There will be a “total *******” tax for everyone else.

    In reaction to the old adage, “Children are so honest” we intend to reduce the age of standing for parliament from 21 to 5

    Eton and Oxford will be relocated to Blackpool and Bognor Regis leaving the other Universities with a chance of a bigger intake.

    We intend to make free university tuition available to all students named Grant.

    Any student who says the word “Like” when not grammatically called for, as in, “Hey, I’m .. Like, going down the… like, pub”, or, “I was, like, don’t do that” will be made to go and stay with George Bush for a week in order to discourage them from other stupid ‘Americanisms’.

    Traffic wardens will be re-named Dick Turpin because, let’s face it, it’s daylight robbery.

    Any kerbs that are caught crawling will be arrested and the council will be fined £100.000 pounds.

    We will set up an enquiry to find out why there’s a Polar bear on Fox’s Glacier mints

    All food shall be clearly labelled “Recommended for Oral Use”.

    All fast food will be clearly labelled “May contain traces of real food”.

    To keep up with the present government we promise to introduce many policies that have not been thought through properly, purely for cheap votes.

    These include:

    • Making everyone a lottery winner
    • Providing beer for school children
    • Giving everyone a quid who votes for us
    Go read the website if you want a laugh, and may i reccomend the "policy leak"- replacing moneyt with chickens is the way forward!!
  2. meandmycornet

    meandmycornet Active Member

    WOW I wish we had a monster raving looney party candidate in my constituency i'd SO vote for them!!
  3. Cornishwomble

    Cornishwomble Active Member

    When I lived in Redruth a guy called Freddy Zapp stood as the Monster Raving Looney Party for the council elections and WON!

    Just shows that they could do it one day! ;)
  4. six pints

    six pints Active Member

    theyre all fantastic!!! shame i didnt have any MRLooneys to vote for- maybe i should stand (im nearly old enough now- sob!)
  5. asteria

    asteria Member

    I saw this a few weeks ago, and the sandwichcam cracked me up! It's all about Jeff the sandwich who does a David-Blaine-type political stunt by trying to last in a suspended lunch box for 45 days. It's at under the 'features' section. :D
  6. sugarandspice

    sugarandspice Active Member

    Ssshhh!! you dont want everyone knowing! :)
  7. Liz Courts

    Liz Courts Active Member

    Just this morning?! I remember my friend and I promising each other in primary school that we'd vote for them when we're old enough! Unfortunately she's not 18 yet, and there wasn't a raving candidate for me to vote for anyway!!

    Well, he is a legend!!
  8. Jamie

    Jamie Member

    Freddy Zapp is still roaming about in Hayle in his multicoloured van now... I had no idea he was a politician too! Well I never...
  9. Cornishwomble

    Cornishwomble Active Member

    Agreed! I used to roadie for him when he did his Wednesday night Discos around Cornwall, he's a great bloke and you should see his house!!
  10. bassinthebathroom

    bassinthebathroom Active Member

    Doesn't Freddy Zapp have a show on Radio Cornwall too?
  11. Cornishwomble

    Cornishwomble Active Member

    Yeah he does a Rock n Roll type of show, I think it's once a week. But to be honest I was never a great listener of that station!

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