I wish my life had background music - it might give me a few clues as to what on earth is going on. How am I supposed to act my age when the director hasn't given me the script? The chains on my mood swing just broke. I suggest you run. Fast. There's a fine line between genius and insanity. Regrettably, some people think it's a skipping rope. Your loving and patient mother clocks off at 8pm; I suggest you get your tiny butt to bed before Attila the Mum clocks on! If we aren't supposed to indulge in midnight snacks, why has my fridge got a light inside it?