Memorable Quotes!

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by Jack E, Nov 2, 2017.

  1. Jack E

    Jack E Well-Known Member

    I wish my life had background music - it might give me a few clues as to what on earth is going on.

    How am I supposed to act my age when the director hasn't given me the script?

    The chains on my mood swing just broke. I suggest you run. Fast.

    There's a fine line between genius and insanity. Regrettably, some people think it's a skipping rope.

    Your loving and patient mother clocks off at 8pm; I suggest you get your tiny butt to bed before Attila the Mum clocks on!

    If we aren't supposed to indulge in midnight snacks, why has my fridge got a light inside it?
     
    Tom-King likes this.
  2. Jack E

    Jack E Well-Known Member

    Having a 2 year old in the house is like owning a food blender with no lid.

    Silence is golden - unless you have small children; then it's a "RED ALERT!!"

    If the opinion I just aired offended you, be thankful you didn't hear the one I kept to myself . . .

    "We’ve begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It’s cheaper, and you get more feet."
    (Rita Rudner)

    My dog licked the crumbs out of my computer keyboard and earned an online college degree.

    "A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing." (Emo Philips)

    "I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them." (Rita Rudner)

    "I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes, you pick up and put away, dust and polish - and, dammit, six months later, it looks like you never touched the place!" (Joan Rivers)
     
    Mesmerist and Slider1 like this.

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