Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by Laserbeam bass, May 15, 2005.

  1. Laserbeam bass

    Laserbeam bass Active Member

  2. HorniKaz

    HorniKaz Supporting Member

    Excellent!! Must admit, I let him plunge to his death a few times!! & what's with the Salford Buccaneers sign?!?!?!? :mad:
  3. bigmamabadger

    bigmamabadger Active Member

    What if I don't give a stuff about footie and even less of a stuff about Man U?!

    I don't care if Glaser buys Man U or not, can we talk about funny things now?
  4. yonhee

    yonhee Active Member

    OK :)
    Was funny when he hit the floor though :D
  5. lynchie

    lynchie Active Member

    then you read the other threads?
  6. bigmamabadger

    bigmamabadger Active Member

    Every other thread on here seems to be
    a) about football in general
    b) about Glazer and Man U in particular.

    Aren't there any footbal forums?!
    BMB the rugby/motorsport fan.
  7. lynchie

    lynchie Active Member

    There's 3 at the moment including this one... one about Glazer, one about Norwich going down, and this one... I reckon I could avoid 3 threads if I put my mind to it...
  8. bigmamabadger

    bigmamabadger Active Member

    Somehow most threads at the moment seem to end up about football. Even those that start off about Superheroes...:mad:
  9. Laserbeam bass

    Laserbeam bass Active Member

    Just to annoy BMB a little bit more here's another piece of Glazerese:

    Dear Soccer fans,

    As you all know, i've been looking to buy the United's of Manchester for a little while now. I've also heard that some of you may not be too happy about me using, sorry, buying the club in order to reach new heights and also, that I may not be a fan. Well fear not, as i'm writing this personal letter to let you know that i'm a genuine fan of you blue devils.

    I began rooting for the United's back in 1992 when our little Malcolm JR was practising those Soccer home runs out in the yard. I loved the way you turned defence into offence, and the way that Bobby Shearer used to top half it into the goal bag. Oh man, that play was hot. My son tells me that you even out-zoned your City rivals Southampton in the 4th quarter of the FA World series. As for your current team, that Rude guy is awesome!!!!

    I see a profitable future at the United, with the young talent of Cristiano Rooney (man, that guy can dance!) and Peter Shilton giving us hope in defeating the evil Russian tyranny which assaults the freedom of our beloved Soccer.

    With the marketing potential of those Neville brothers and that Pearce dude leading the team, we can all look to acheiving our beliefs of a better future.

    Especially when I add Alexei Lalas and Cobi Jones to the starting 15.

    Now to you, the fans. I've been to see the United's play once before, and the respect you pay your team in silently admiring the play out on the pitch was overwhelming. Because of this, i've just purchased a new ?45 million mansion in the Manchester to be close to you guys. And more good news is i'm planning to add an extra 10,000 seats through corporate boxes so more genuine blue devils can experience the play. What's with the prawn sandwiches I had to eat when I was there? Well, rest assured, it'll be super size prawn baguettes when I take charge.

    I can't wait to come over to the Manchester isles, as I love the country, especially the beaches and the hot chicks. I hope you can all see my vision of this future, with new shirt sponsors (Dunkin Donuts) and new team name (The Manchester Gloom) i'm sure things are looking bright.

    *Further good news for you guys is that i've just agreed a partnership deal with McDonalds, who will help in promoting the Manchester brand. This will involve re-naming the stadium to 'McTrafford' as well as an exciting launch of Manchester Gloom plastic fan toys in every happy meal. Cristiano Rooney will be the face of this campaign and during this, he will be marketed globally as Roonald McDonald.

    Take care dudes.

    Regards Malcolm
  10. yorkie19

    yorkie19 Active Member

    FA Memo - Re Glazer purchase

    Another Football related thread (Sorry BMB) (nope it isn't - threads have been merged - one thread is quite enough on this subject thanks! ;) (dyl)

    Just been sent this:

    Internal Memo - Confidential

    To: All Football Association Staff

    In light of the recent acquisition by the Glazer family of Manchester United plc, the following changes to the Premier League have been made:

    1 - In anticipation of increased television coverage in the United States, all Premier League matches will now be played over 4 quarters of 23 minutes. Stoppage time will be abolished

    2 - After 92 minutes, if the scores are level, one additional period of overtime will be played. This period of overtime will cease upon either team scoring a goal.

    3 - After the period of overtime, if the scores are still level, a second period of overtime, called 'Double Overtime' will be played. This period of 'Double Overtime' will cease upon a goal being scored.

    4 - Teams will be allowed to make as many substitutions as they want during the game

    5 - Any break in play (e.g. throw-in, free kick) will automatically result in a break in play to allow no less than 30 seconds of commercial breaks.

    6 - Manchester United will now compete as the Manchester Red Devils. All other teams will change their names by the start of the 2006/07 season. Anticipated name changes include the Everton Toffees, the Chelsea Commies and the Sunderland Yo-Yos.

    7 - To better harvest the North American television incomes, kick-off times will now be scheduled to match Prime-Time on the Eastern Seaboard (7pm Saturday night). Therefore kick-off times will be moved to midnight local time.

    8 - To liven up the game, goals scored from outside the area will now be worth 3 goals, goals that hit the back of the net will be worth 2 and shots which blaze high over the bar will be worth 1 goal.

    9 - The offside rule will be scrapped. It is far to complex and will only serve to confuse our American TV audiences (and women)

    10 - The Premier League will be broken up into 4 groups of 5 teams. The bottom team in each group will be relegated at the end of the season and the top two teams will go forward to contest the Post-Season with the ultimate aim of winning the Premier Stanley Series Superbowl League Cup Bowl. We feel this will be more entertaining for the TV audiences in North America.

    We must embrace this new opportunity.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 16, 2005
  11. DublinBass

    DublinBass Supporting Member

    That was a quite thorough and entertaining job takingthe Mick out of US Sports :clap:

    The only thing you may have forgotten was to call the winners of the Superbowl Cup thingy "World Champions" ;)
  12. sterlingsop

    sterlingsop Member

    Yet again tMP advertising is fantastically accurate. The links at the bottom of the page are for Man Utd ticket offers, a Vote agains the takeover link and an offer for Man Utd strips ! Fantastic!!!
    Last edited: May 16, 2005
  13. Cornishwomble

    Cornishwomble Active Member

    Probably cos many people like football and if it's in a Random and Off topic thread then what's the problem?
    As said before there are hundreds of threads on here, some you'll like some you won't. If you hate football why go on to a football thread and stick at least 2 posts on it? Just ignore it and look at something that does interest you.
  14. HBB

    HBB Active Member

    Nope all I see are "besson Sovereign Specials!" :D
  15. JessopSmythe

    JessopSmythe Active Member

    Can't see what all the fuss is about myself. MUFC and various other clubs decided to float on the stock market to raise more capital. If you do that, you leave the door wide open for people like Glazer to buy shares and take over. It's part of the risk involved in the flotation.
  16. Cornishwomble

    Cornishwomble Active Member

    The problem with it is apparent in your post. It's all financial jargon rather than sport.
    Most fans were swayed by talk of flotations when it all happened in the late 1980s/early 90s. Most people were football fans and had no idea of what flotations and suchlike were worth, We were all seduced by talk of more money for signings and stadium etc and no-one knew back then that it would come back to bite them on the bum.

    The average fan never cared whether their club was put on the stock exchange or not they just wanted to watch football. Since then the average fan has been priced out of football and are lucky to see their team live on telly (as long as they have a Sky subscription) or can only follow them with Gary and Co on a Saturday night.

    At Wimbledon we were seduced with promises of millions and a new stadium when Sam Hamman sold out to the Norwegians and that definately ended in tears. For any Man Utd fan who would follow a FC United if it was to be formed, you will love it. Since AFC Wimbledon was formed all of the emphasis has been on the enjoyment of football and whilst we suffered an injustice, the last 3 yeard have been the happiest football-wise I've ever known.

    Plus we've offered to play FC United in their first game to help raise the profile!

    I think that to say that a club deserves to be punished because of greed or naivety by floating on the stock exchange doea detract from the people who matter, the fans who didn't necessarily get the choice in the first place.