Limericks part II

Discussion in 'Thread Games & Totally Random...' started by Dave Payn, Nov 11, 2004.

  1. Dave Payn

    Dave Payn Active Member

    Some while back a Limerick thread was started on here, so let's kick this off again.

    There was a young woman named Bright
    Whose speed was much faster than light.
    She set out one day
    In a relative way,
    And returned on the previous night.

    What is a limerick, Mother?
    It's a form of verse, said brother
    In which lines one and two
    Rhyme with five when it's through
    And three and four rhyme with each other.
  2. lynchie

    lynchie Active Member

    There was a young man named dave
    And on Arran he did misbehave
    His trumpet did sound
    And it shuddered the ground
    But the sheep were exceedingly brave
  3. Dave Payn

    Dave Payn Active Member

    Oi! Lynchie! Less of the 'young'! ;-)
  4. Chris Sanders

    Chris Sanders Active Member

    There was a young girl from Madras,
    Who had a magnificent ass,
    Not round and pink as you'd probably think
    But was grey had long ears and ate grass???
  5. PeterBale

    PeterBale Moderator Staff Member

    There was a young man in the sand
    Who wanted to play in the band.
    They gave him a horn
    And he plays it at dawn,
    Which is something the neighbours can't stand :shock:
  6. James Yelland

    James Yelland Active Member

    There was an old lady from Slough
    Who once had a terrible cough
    She sounded quite rough
    But battled on through
    I think she is better now, though.
  7. impycornet

    impycornet Member

    Thought they were supposed to Rhyme ??
  8. Crazysop

    Crazysop Member

    There was a brass bander from Middleton
    A skateboard he did try to march on
    He hit a speed hump
    his cornet did jump
    up his nose, now his mouth piece has crows on!!!!!!!!!!
  9. lynchie

    lynchie Active Member

    There once was a Bb bass player
    You frequently listened to slayer
    The bass lines he stole
    For his composing role
    Writing arrangements of the Lord's Prayer
  10. DublinBass

    DublinBass Supporting Member

    Lynchie was a trombone player
    Who had just bought a brand new Thayer
    With a twich of his finger
    he pulled on the trigger
    and realized not to give up his dayyer (day job that is)
  11. Will the Sec

    Will the Sec Active Member

    When looking a stuff on the Mouthpiece,

  12. lynchie

    lynchie Active Member

    Will was a tuba exponent
    Who answered whenever his phone went
    He tried baritone
    And smashing his phone
    But the ringing was worse than a bone tent
  13. Will the Sec

    Will the Sec Active Member

    It's true that I play Bb Bass.
    But you should see the look on my face.
    'Cos I want to play 'bone,
    Not a straight Sousaphone,
    And my seventh position is ace.*

    *Because "approximate" doesn't rhyme**...

    **But now I own my own trombone I am working on it...
  14. Lil Miss

    Lil Miss Active Member

    there was an old man from Danzhelin,
    who travelled from London to Eelin,
    it said on the door",
    "please don't spit on the floor"
    so he carefully spat on the ceiling???

    weird i know but i got it from an old limmerick book....
  15. Lil Miss

    Lil Miss Active Member

    I went to the duchess to hav tea,
    it was just as i though it would be,
    her rumblings abdominable were simply phenominal,
    and everyone thought it was me :-(
  16. Bazza

    Bazza Member

    Nice one Lou!! just hope that doesnt happen to u all on sunday!?! middleton has some bumpy roads u know!! sorry i wont be there!! love you all!!

  17. James Yelland

    James Yelland Active Member

    What's the problem? Most limericks only have rhymes to lines 1, 2 and 5. All five lines of my limerick have the same ending - that makes it much better, surely?
  18. Dave Payn

    Dave Payn Active Member

    There was an old man from Leeds
    Who could never get his Limericks to rhyme
    None of them ever scanned properly or rhythmically in the way the Limericks should
    And they finished too soon.
  19. uncle eric

    uncle eric Member

    hello friends.

    an old man who had a long face,
    because, he said, 'it the case
    that my tongue is no use
    and my teeth are all loose'
    the conductor said 'give him a bass'

    it's been a long day....


    uncle eric
  20. ronnie_the_lizard

    ronnie_the_lizard Active Member

    A young man sought fortune in Spennymoor,
    He set up in business a cheap food store,
    The Bands came to play.
    But threw up all the next day,
    So he isn't in Spennymoor any more.