Letter to santa (not for kids)

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by Crazysop, Nov 25, 2004.

  1. Crazysop

    Crazysop Member

  2. Naomi McFadyen

    Naomi McFadyen New Member

    :lol: funny
     
  3. Big Twigge

    Big Twigge Active Member

    tis good
     
  4. drummergurl

    drummergurl Active Member

    im stuck.. wots an adverb??? :-?
     
  5. Laserbeam bass

    Laserbeam bass Active Member

  6. Crazysop

    Crazysop Member

    An adverb describes a verb (doing word) an adjective describes a noun ( name or thing)
     
  7. bigmamabadger

    bigmamabadger Active Member

    I don't think calling someone an unecessary rat is all that bad...
    BMB
    xx
     
  8. Mrs Fruity

    Mrs Fruity Member

    Oh dear! I think I should have thunk before I writ!!!!! Hope my mum never sees that one!!!
     
  9. HBB

    HBB Active Member

    Really should have paid attention in english! Got adverbs and adjectives wrong! It did sound quite funny though ... :shock:
     
  10. Lil Miss

    Lil Miss Active Member

    mine was:



    Dear Santa,

    I have been a good girl.

    It really wasn't my fault what happened at danny's Christmas party. It was cally who spiked the punch with too much pepsi max. I can't help it if I drank 12 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like vanilla.

    I thought it was funny when I put spud's skirt on my head and danced the cha cha on the chair while singing `stand by me'. I didn't mean to break danny's phone and don't know why danny would sue me for stealin.

    I don't remember calling shane's wife a beautiful pig---even though she looked like one with red eye shadow and blue lipstick!

    And when I threw up on lisa's husband's mouth, it was only because I ate too much of that chicken.

    After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my car through my neighbor's roof. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a intolerable chicken and have me arrested for shopliftin!

    So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all repulsive and intoxicatin. And I'm really not to blame for any of this friendly stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

    Sincerely and quickly yours,
    Jen (Really a nice girl!) P.S. It's only 16 bucks!
     
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  12. Crazysop

    Crazysop Member

    mine was quite funny ish

    Dear Santa,

    I have been a good girl.

    It really wasn't my fault what happened at Karen's Christmas party. It was Kate who spiked the punch with too much hot chocolate. I can't help it if I drank 17 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like channel number 5.

    I thought it was funny when I put Andela's Skirt on my head and danced the waltz on the table while singing `the can can'. I didn't mean to break Karen's vacum cleaner and don't know why Karen would sue me for arson.

    I don't remember calling Fred's wife a sweaty chicken---even though she looked like one with lilac eye shadow and orange lipstick!

    And when I threw up on Judith's husband's knee, it was only because I ate too much of that kebab.

    After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my combined harvester through my neighbor's chimney. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a enormous elephant and have me arrested for smuggling!

    So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all greedy and sparkly. And I'm really not to blame for any of this sly stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

    Sincerely and thoughtfully yours,
    Louise (Really a nice girl!)

    P.S. It's only 109 bucks!
     
  13. Dear Santa,

    I have been a good girl.

    It really wasn't my fault what happened at janine's Christmas party. It was sarah who spiked the punch with too much baileys. I can't help it if I drank 55555 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like boiled uterus.

    I thought it was funny when I put louise's sarong on my head and danced the conga on the vileda mop while singing `i'd love to s**g you baby but i'm dying for a s**t. I didn't mean to break janine's metal detector and don't know why janine would sue me for sodomy.

    I don't remember calling phil's wife a gloopy buffalo---even though she looked like one with turqiose eye shadow and violet lipstick!

    And when I threw up on becky's husband's nose, it was only because I ate too much of that bacon.

    After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my dustbin wagon through my neighbor's pantry. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a stodgy rhinoscerous and have me arrested for burglary!

    So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all stupid and smelly. And I'm really not to blame for any of this loud stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

    Sincerely and quickly yours,
    laura (Really a nice girl!)

    P.S. It's only 123 4567 bucks!
     
  14. bassinthebathroom

    bassinthebathroom Active Member

    Tres bien Laura.... but how long has a mop been an item of furniture?!? :p
     
  15. Since I said it was, bassoon boy (you know wot I'm on about!)
     
  16. bassinthebathroom

    bassinthebathroom Active Member

    Ah yes, indeed I do.... for those of you in the dark (that'll be most of you) we found some amusement in the word Fagott in German Romanticism this afternoon. For those of you still in the dark, Fagott is german for Bassoon - hence the bassoon insult, which actually works on two different levels. I mean, she could be saying I sounded like a bassoon..... :-?
    Anyway, I see a mop as more of a utensil than a piece of furniture... :p
     
  17. You weren't actually supposed to tell anyone you moron!!! It's extremely unfunny to the outside world and makes us look pathetic!!!


    "Anyway, I see a mop as more of a utensil than a piece of furniture"...

    That's what you call it now is it???
     
  18. bassinthebathroom

    bassinthebathroom Active Member

    Darn right I do!

    OK, I retract my statement.... only Laura found it funny, I told her to be quiet as she was laughing too loud....
     
  19. Yeah OK, whatever!!!!
     
  20. I drove my scooter into my neighbours bathroom, he called me a bronze cat and is sueing me for perjury ...
     
  21. bigmamabadger

    bigmamabadger Active Member

    Sorry, am tired & bored, EDB is in Barcelona and I am in Cheshire. It was either this or play Solitaire until my eyes pop...
    1,000 apologias to Sal Thorne
    BMB
    xx

    "Dear Santa,

    I have been a good Girl.

    It really wasn't my fault what happened at Cornetgirl's Christmas party. It was Big Twigge who spiked the punch with too much turkey & gravy soda. I can't help it if I drank 47 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like valve oil.

    I thought it was funny when I put HBB's support hose on my head and danced the masochism tango on the nest of tables while singing `Partita'. I didn't mean to break Cornetgirl's tuning fork and don't know why Cornetgirl would sue me for sheep-worrying.

    I don't remember calling Roger Thorne's wife a impecunious weevil---even though she looked like one with black eye shadow and black lipstick!

    And when I threw up on ju33les's husband's builders bum, it was only because I ate too much of that marshmallow & marmite sandwich.

    After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Aston Martin DB5 through my neighbor's larder. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a obsequious otter and have me arrested for adjudicator-baiting!

    So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all lewd and loud. And I'm really not to blame for any of this fascinating stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

    Sincerely and painfully yours,
    Big Mama Badger (Really a nice Girl!)

    P.S. It's only 1 bucks!"
     
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