Law of God (on Homosexuality)

Discussion in 'Random Chat & Off Topic...' started by peasantband, Jun 18, 2004.

  1. peasantband

    peasantband New Member

    I found this amuzing so i share it. Hope it brings a smile to some one. :lol:


    Dr Laura
    Dr Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet

    Dear Dr. Laura,

    Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that (Leviticus 18:22) clearly states it to be an abomination.

    End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them.

    1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev.1:9). The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

    2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in (Exodus 21:7). In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

    3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev.15:19-24). The problem is, how do tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

    4. (Lev. 25:44) states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians.Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

    5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. (Exodus 35:2) clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

    6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

    7. (Lev. 21:20) states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

    8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by (Lev.19:27). How should they die?

    9. I know from (Lev.11:6-8) that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

    10. My uncle has a farm. He violates (Lev. 19:19) by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev.24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

    I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

    Your devoted fan, Jim
     
  2. Majoresteve

    Majoresteve Member

    wonder what the reply was!
     
  3. akwarose

    akwarose Active Member

    hehe how fantastic!!!!!
     
  4. Rambo Chick

    Rambo Chick Member

    haha nice one!!
     
  5. satchmo shaz

    satchmo shaz Active Member

    that is soooo funny, I'm going to"pinch" it and show me mates! :lol:
     
  6. lynchie

    lynchie Active Member

    I used to have a long list of suitable smitings for different offences... my favourite was washing their underwear in chili sauce, although I can't remember what that was for...

    You know when you've been smited!

    (or is that smote?)
     
  7. Dave Euph

    Dave Euph Member

    Very good!
     
  8. Jo Elson

    Jo Elson Member

    Am truly inpressed by the oodles of sarcasm contained in that!
     
  9. It's great when the Bible contradicts itself as well

    Among Lev18 there is much talk about not 'lying :wink: ' with your relatives and in Exodus somewhere Lot's daughters 'lay :wink: ' with him in order to get pregnant!
     
  10. Keppler

    Keppler Moderator Staff Member

    "smitten" actually - lovely passive voice

    but you're right the, active past tense would be "smote" (great word)
     
  11. rutty

    rutty Active Member

    Excellent stuff :)

    I've been told that this has been derived from an episode of series three of the West Wing. I really should watch that - supposed to be very good.
     
  12. Bluebottle

    Bluebottle Member

    v gd! :)

    and so's west wing - new series starts soon! 8)
     
  13. davidsait

    davidsait Member

    The letter was apparently originally written by a guy called Kent Ashcraft, and then used for a scene in the second season of The West Wing (which is excellent by the way).

    A page with the original letter and the link to the West Wing is here.
     

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