Law of God (on Homosexuality)

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by peasantband, Jun 18, 2004.

  1. peasantband

    peasantband New Member

    Messages:
    26
    Location:
    Prague
    I found this amuzing so i share it. Hope it brings a smile to some one. :lol:


    Dr Laura
    Dr Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet

    Dear Dr. Laura,

    Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that (Leviticus 18:22) clearly states it to be an abomination.

    End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them.

    1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev.1:9). The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

    2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in (Exodus 21:7). In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

    3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev.15:19-24). The problem is, how do tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

    4. (Lev. 25:44) states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians.Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

    5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. (Exodus 35:2) clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

    6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

    7. (Lev. 21:20) states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

    8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by (Lev.19:27). How should they die?

    9. I know from (Lev.11:6-8) that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

    10. My uncle has a farm. He violates (Lev. 19:19) by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev.24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

    I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

    Your devoted fan, Jim
     
  2. Majoresteve

    Majoresteve Member

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    729
    Location:
    Hatt, Cornwall
    wonder what the reply was!
     
  3. akwarose

    akwarose Active Member

    Messages:
    1,288
    Location:
    Milton Keynes
    hehe how fantastic!!!!!
     
  4. Rambo Chick

    Rambo Chick Member

    Messages:
    507
    Location:
    Auckland, New Zealand
    haha nice one!!
     
  5. satchmo shaz

    satchmo shaz Active Member

    Messages:
    1,431
    Location:
    Long Eaton Nottingham
    that is soooo funny, I'm going to"pinch" it and show me mates! :lol:
     
  6. lynchie

    lynchie Active Member

    Messages:
    5,057
    Location:
    South London
    I used to have a long list of suitable smitings for different offences... my favourite was washing their underwear in chili sauce, although I can't remember what that was for...

    You know when you've been smited!

    (or is that smote?)
     
  7. Dave Euph

    Dave Euph Member

    Messages:
    924
    Location:
    Huddersfield
    Very good!
     
  8. Jo Elson

    Jo Elson Member

    Messages:
    699
    Location:
    Whitchurch,Shropshire
    Am truly inpressed by the oodles of sarcasm contained in that!
     
  9. Curiosity_Kills

    Curiosity_Kills Member

    Messages:
    831
    Location:
    'Uddersfield
    It's great when the Bible contradicts itself as well

    Among Lev18 there is much talk about not 'lying :wink: ' with your relatives and in Exodus somewhere Lot's daughters 'lay :wink: ' with him in order to get pregnant!
     
  10. Keppler

    Keppler Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    4,054
    Location:
    √Čire
    "smitten" actually - lovely passive voice

    but you're right the, active past tense would be "smote" (great word)
     
  11. rutty

    rutty Active Member

    Messages:
    1,626
    Location:
    Beeston, Nottingham
    Excellent stuff :)

    I've been told that this has been derived from an episode of series three of the West Wing. I really should watch that - supposed to be very good.
     
  12. v gd! :)

    and so's west wing - new series starts soon! 8)
     
  13. davidsait

    davidsait Member

    Messages:
    449
    Location:
    Cambridge
    The letter was apparently originally written by a guy called Kent Ashcraft, and then used for a scene in the second season of The West Wing (which is excellent by the way).

    A page with the original letter and the link to the West Wing is here.
     
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