Lack of Confidence

Discussion in 'The Rehearsal Room' started by Doc64, Mar 16, 2006.

  1. Doc64

    Doc64 New Member

    Looking for some advice.
    What would you do, if you were sitting in a position within your band that you felt comfortable with, but other players in the band wanted you to sit in a more prominent position, because they have more faith in your playing abilities than you do yourself?
    Would you move and give it a try or would you stay put?


  2. Di

    Di Active Member

    First of all, :hi to tMP and congrats on making your first post. :clap:

    Give it a try. Give yourself the confidence by realising that others obviously think highly of your playing. :)
  3. The other son

    The other son Member

    Personally, although I've never really had this problem, I'd say you go when you're ready more than when they say. On one side, lets say you do as they ask and you do well, then thats great. If you dont, it could set your confidence back further.

    It's the whole thing of "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't compel it to drink"
  4. timbloke

    timbloke Member

    I'd tend to agree with Di. Go for it.

    There was a point a few years ago when I was quite down with a bit of a lack of direction. A few (non-banding) opportunities came up, and whereas before then I'd have spent ages deciding whether to take these chances and eventually miss out on them, I decided to change and jumped in feet first hoping I'd swim. I survived and since then have applied that mentality to everything. Especially my playing, where I give it a go, even if I'm not totally confident about it - the more I try the easier it gets. I'm still here and much more confident (some may say too confident) as a result.

    I'm sure no-one would suggest you move if they didn't think you were capable.

    Good luck with whichever you chose.
  5. Di

    Di Active Member

    A good point, but its a case of "you'll never know until you try". Are those that have faith in your playing aware of your lack of confidence? Are they likely to support you and give you the help and encouragement you feel you need? Why not set a "trial period" time, at the end of which, either you or your band can say yay or nay?
  6. Steve

    Steve Active Member

    Ave it :tup
  7. DaveB

    DaveB New Member

    Go for it.
    If you have the support of the people around you then you're 90% there already.
    A bit of a challenge does us all good occasionally.
  8. WoodenFlugel

    WoodenFlugel Moderator Staff Member

    I think the person you really need to speak to is your MD. Does he / she feel the same way as your playing collegues? If so, then suggest [say] a 1 month no commitment trial so you can see how you get on.

    Try it, you might find you like it! (copyright Dr Pepper ad 1992)
  9. Trog's

    Trog's Member

    Agreed - If I was in your position, I'd practise a bit to make sure I could do it and go for it!!

    Having the support of the peole in the band is vital and you will improve with this support no doubt. If you didn't have this support it would be a lot harder thing to do!

    Generally with things like this, if you jump in at the deep end and work, you'll swim!!
  10. The other son

    The other son Member

    True. But what do I know? I was asked to play for the first section finals when I was playing in the third section.

    I did, and we won.

    <cheap plug over>
  11. andyp

    andyp Active Member

    If you feel those around will support you, e.g. they won't go tut-tut every time you miss a note or something, then I'd say go for it. There are examples of this sort of thing in all musical ensembles, and it's very unfair, but it happens. Ther is also an element of how sensitive to criticism you are, but I think this comes from those around you, if you know they're only kidding then you won't feel bad about what may only be intended as a joke.
    From the sound of it your colleagues have every confidence in you, so I'd definitely say go for it!
  12. ian perks

    ian perks Active Member

    I think the above says it all.
    Give it a month if MD is happy then the seat is yours:clap:
    Best of luck
  13. GingerMaestro

    GingerMaestro Active Member

    The only thing I would say to this give it a month is that when the month ends if he stays in the seat great but what if the MD then says go back to your old seat his confidence will be shattered

    if you are happy where you are thats fine I know players in top section band who played 3rd cornet and were asked to move up and play front row they refused and continued where they were as they felt in thier own minds that as every chair in the band room is equal then they were happy to make the 3rd cornet seat thier own

    so it works both ways

    but at the end of the day it is yours and the MDs decision to make we can only tell you what we think

    Good Luck
  14. brasscrest

    brasscrest Active Member

    I've been in a somewhat similar situation - a few years ago, our 2nd euph had to take an extended leave of absence because of a serious health issue, and I was asked to move from first baritone to second euph. Although I've played euph in the past, I know that I am far better on baritone. I accepted the change "for the good of the band". But I've never felt that the time I spent on euph was really good for the band, as my playing was not really up to standard.

    Much relieved when our 2nd euph returned to the band and resumed his seat, letting me go back to my proper place.

    It's hard to tell how this kind of move is going to affect a player's confidence - but if you are not confident that the move will succeed then you have not got much chance of it succeeding, as the lack of confidence will affect your performance.
  15. Euphonomium

    Euphonomium Member

    My advice to you would be to talk to someone at band (like someone else said), not just your MD but someone else there too, maybe someone who's been in the same situation you're in now and see how they can help. A trial period (again as someone else said) is a great idea, if you don't like it, you can go back to where you are now; take it as a "try before you buy" kind of deal...
  16. bassmittens

    bassmittens Member

    I'd tend to agree with the "go for it" mentality. From what you say the players around you think you can do it. I think moving up is harder when players around you don't think you are up to it - or are jealous of your progres, that is when they will make you feel not up to it. Provided the MD is behind the move i would say give it a go.

    I've always found that just putting yourself in that pressured situation improves your abilities and confidence quicker than if you were to stay put and slog it out on a less pressured seat.

    And remeber if it doesn't work out (which i'm sure it will) then you haven't lost anything, it doesn't mean you'll never have another chance. In fact you will make sure you suceed next time round!

    Be brave, give it a go, jump in, show yourself you can do it - you may be very surprised - tomorrow Grimey?!?!?!?!?
  17. bassmittens

    bassmittens Member

    soryy ive lost al abiltiy to spel toady!!
  18. super_sop

    super_sop Supporting Member

    Definately go for it. ive been in something of a similar position when i was about to pack up playing. I had always been playing for village non contesting type bands, and lower 4th section.
    i had absolutely no confidence in my abilities but was asked to play for wem (3rd sectio) on the front row. I was totally bricking it, thinking i wasnt good enough. im still their 3 years later enjoying my playing more and more, and now sit principle cornet.

    moral of the story? unless you dont try youll never know.

    give it a go.

    Last edited: Mar 16, 2006
  19. JohnnyEuph

    JohnnyEuph Member

    i'ts better to have a bash and find out than to always sit there wondering 'what if'. (sounds like an old adage), Our trom section used to be the weakest section in the band, until the band got behind them and gave them some proper encouragement (they are a very young section).I think that once they realised that nobody in the bandroom would ridicule them for making mistakes they really started going for it... - They are now one of the strongest (and most confident) sections in our band.
    ... so go for it.
  20. brassneck

    brassneck Active Member

    Basically, you are in a position where you have nothing to lose. You have been aked to try something that gives you an opportunity to move forward with the support of your bandmates. I'm sure you'll do a good job!

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