Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by Chris Sanders, Sep 19, 2006.
Yes! We had this at college today, except we dressed up too! Nice one.
my form celebrate it every day... weird people...!!! but how cool?! talking like pirates is FUN!
we had pirate night at uni on ermmm monday! I'm losing track of days! It was brilliant! we went out with 3 swords and came back with about 20! they are now on display in our living room
Why are Pirates called Pirates?...
Because they aaaaaaaaaaargh
Well shiver mi trombone mi hearties!
i was planning to speak like a pirate... but i forgot. lol. i am so sad.- i am in stitches over the pirate joke!! ..no infact i think im crying... yes i have tears in my eyes!!
The year is 1631, and the Spanish Main is being terrorised by that
most barbaric of pirates, Captain Black-skull - a man who rules his
ship through tyranny and terror.
Capt: Now listen here, you scurvy sons of dogs! Round the next bay be
a galleon full of Spanish doubloons, bound for Espanola, only it ain't
gonna get there, see, cause we're gonna board it, and slit the
gizzards of the crew 'til the bilges are awash with their blood, and
then we helps ourselves to the gold! Whaddaya say, me hearties, shall
we go cut some throats? Har harrr!
Pirate: No, cap'n!
Capt: Whaddaya mean 'no'?!
Pirate: I means nos, captain. We don't like the way you're running
this here ship, and we reckons we ain't gonna stand for it no more.
Reckons we've had enough, ain't we boys?
Crew: That's right, we've ad enough!
Capt: Oh, I gets it, you stinkin swabs! You wants a better share of
the loot, does ya?
Pirate: No, captain!
Capt: Then I suppose you wants my treasure map which shows where I
buried the treasure from that thar Portuguese man o' war?
Pirate: No, captain!
Capt: Then what **do** you want?
Pirate: We wants - a training day!
Capt: A training day?!
Pirate: We wants a training day, preferably in a nice hotel near
Hastings. Where all us sea dogs can sit us down, and pool our
experience, compare work methods, and prioritise objectives, damn your
Capt: Prioritise objectives?!
Pirate 2: Aye, and improve our communication skills!
Pirate: That's right! There's not a man on this ship what knows how to
use any tense apart from the present.
Capt: That's cos you're pirates! And ever since pirates begins,
pirates only speaks in the present tense, does pirates! First man on
this ship as uses the past or pluperfect tense dies where he stands!
Pirate 2: He wouldn't dare!
Capt: Or a conditional! And the next one what mentions training days
will be keel hauled, dragged beneath the ship til the barnacles rip
open his belly and death comes as a merciful blessing, hahahaha!
First Mate: Well, that's no way to motivate people, is it?
Capt: Don't you start, first mate.
First Mate: Threatening to rip open the bellies of your staff - call
that man management?
Pirate: Well, he's no real managerial grounding, see, he was a plain
midshipman originally! Ee should go on a course or something, you
Capt: Quiet, you insolent lubbers!
Pirate: Well, give us our training day! 'Ow else are we supposed to
meet the challenges of the 1640s?
Pirate 3: We wants an occupational health officer!
Pirate: Aye, and a crèche!
Capt: Silence! Any more of your mutinous whinin', and I'll rip out
your eyes and feed them to the sharks. I'm the captain, do ya hear,
and this ship be mine! Mine!
Pirate: On captain Kid's ship, they get to do role play!
Capt: Shut up!
Pirate: All get to do each others' job for a day! Got a new captain
now. Bosun 'Arris liked being Captain so much, 'e 'ad the old captain
Capt: Well here's some role playin' : I'll play the captain, and you
play a man 'oo's about to be stabbed!
Boy: Ship ahoy! A Spanish Galleon!
Capt: Now listen 'ere you filthy dogs, that there galleon is full of
gold, and we be pirates, and pirates don't need training days! All
pirates needs is a black heart, and a sharp cutlass! Whaddaya say,
lubbers? Will you follow your captain as we storm that thar galleon?!
Cos pirates is bold and brave and lives for the moment, see, so in a
moment we sails alongside that there galleon, swings across on our
boarding ropes, cuts the throats of any Spanish soldier what stands in
our way, and then loads ourselves up with silver and gold!
Crew: Silver and gold!
Capt: And then we piles up all the treasure on the main deck, and we
counts it doubloons by doubloons, jewel by jewel, and then - once we
know how much booty we've gained through our deeds of black-hearted,
blood-soaked evil, we'll gather it all up, and invest in a nice little
pension scheme! Whaddaya say, me hearties?
Crew: Arrrr! A nice little pension scheme!
(sometimes I worry that people on here have too much time on their hands though )
Year 5 Pirate joke (sorry if it's already been done and I've missed it)
Which are the only two letters in the Pirate Dictionary???
just wasted a perfectly good afternoon at work on www.talklikeapirate.com with my assistant manager and the admin staff. The chat up lines are hilarious and one can never tire of answering the phone with a hearty "aaargh"
Maybe we can assimilate some PirateSpeak into further posts on TMP?
I loved The Million Pound Radio Show - there was part of the last series of Revolting People that started to go down this road when the main characters encountered pirates...Andy Hamilton recycling!!!!
There is a great song by an American called Tom Smith called Talk Like A Pirate Day - he has a free download of it ( a live version) on his website (www.tomsmithonline.com) and many more beside (I heartily recommend Domino Death - well it appealed to my sense of humour).
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