Its National Talk Like A Pirate Day!!!

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by Chris Sanders, Sep 19, 2006.

  1. Chris Sanders

    Chris Sanders Active Member

  2. jingleram

    jingleram Active Member

    Yes! We had this at college today, except we dressed up too! Nice one.
  3. Chris Sanders

    Chris Sanders Active Member

  4. Chris Sanders

    Chris Sanders Active Member

  5. Flutey

    Flutey Active Member

    my form celebrate it every day... weird people...!!! but how cool?! talking like pirates is FUN!
  6. meandmycornet

    meandmycornet Active Member

    we had pirate night at uni on ermmm monday! I'm losing track of days! It was brilliant! we went out with 3 swords and came back with about 20! they are now on display in our living room :p
  7. Bass Man

    Bass Man Active Member

    Why are Pirates called Pirates?...

    Because they aaaaaaaaaaargh
  8. SteveT

    SteveT Member

    Well shiver mi trombone mi hearties!
  9. Kaskaey

    Kaskaey Member

    i was planning to speak like a pirate... but i forgot. lol. i am so sad.- i am in stitches over the pirate joke!! infact i think im crying... yes i have tears in my eyes!!
  10. NeilW

    NeilW Member

    The year is 1631, and the Spanish Main is being terrorised by that
    most barbaric of pirates, Captain Black-skull - a man who rules his
    ship through tyranny and terror.

    Capt: Now listen here, you scurvy sons of dogs! Round the next bay be
    a galleon full of Spanish doubloons, bound for Espanola, only it ain't
    gonna get there, see, cause we're gonna board it, and slit the
    gizzards of the crew 'til the bilges are awash with their blood, and
    then we helps ourselves to the gold! Whaddaya say, me hearties, shall
    we go cut some throats? Har harrr!

    Pirate: No, cap'n!

    Capt: Whaddaya mean 'no'?!

    Pirate: I means nos, captain. We don't like the way you're running
    this here ship, and we reckons we ain't gonna stand for it no more.
    Reckons we've had enough, ain't we boys?

    Crew: That's right, we've ad enough!

    Capt: Oh, I gets it, you stinkin swabs! You wants a better share of
    the loot, does ya?

    Pirate: No, captain!

    Capt: Then I suppose you wants my treasure map which shows where I
    buried the treasure from that thar Portuguese man o' war?

    Pirate: No, captain!

    Capt: Then what **do** you want?

    Pirate: We wants - a training day!

    Capt: A training day?!

    Pirate: We wants a training day, preferably in a nice hotel near
    Hastings. Where all us sea dogs can sit us down, and pool our
    experience, compare work methods, and prioritise objectives, damn your

    Capt: Prioritise objectives?!

    Pirate 2: Aye, and improve our communication skills!

    Pirate: That's right! There's not a man on this ship what knows how to
    use any tense apart from the present.

    Capt: That's cos you're pirates! And ever since pirates begins,
    pirates only speaks in the present tense, does pirates! First man on
    this ship as uses the past or pluperfect tense dies where he stands!

    Pirate 2: He wouldn't dare!


    Capt: Or a conditional! And the next one what mentions training days
    will be keel hauled, dragged beneath the ship til the barnacles rip
    open his belly and death comes as a merciful blessing, hahahaha!

    First Mate: Well, that's no way to motivate people, is it?

    Capt: Don't you start, first mate.

    First Mate: Threatening to rip open the bellies of your staff - call
    that man management?

    Pirate: Well, he's no real managerial grounding, see, he was a plain
    midshipman originally! Ee should go on a course or something, you

    Capt: Quiet, you insolent lubbers!

    Pirate: Well, give us our training day! 'Ow else are we supposed to
    meet the challenges of the 1640s?

    Pirate 3: We wants an occupational health officer!

    Pirate: Aye, and a crèche!

    Capt: Silence! Any more of your mutinous whinin', and I'll rip out
    your eyes and feed them to the sharks. I'm the captain, do ya hear,
    and this ship be mine! Mine!

    Pirate: On captain Kid's ship, they get to do role play!

    Capt: Shut up!

    Pirate: All get to do each others' job for a day! Got a new captain
    now. Bosun 'Arris liked being Captain so much, 'e 'ad the old captain
    thrown overboard!

    Capt: Well here's some role playin' : I'll play the captain, and you
    play a man 'oo's about to be stabbed!

    Boy: Ship ahoy! A Spanish Galleon!

    Capt: Now listen 'ere you filthy dogs, that there galleon is full of
    gold, and we be pirates, and pirates don't need training days! All
    pirates needs is a black heart, and a sharp cutlass! Whaddaya say,
    lubbers? Will you follow your captain as we storm that thar galleon?!
    Cos pirates is bold and brave and lives for the moment, see, so in a
    moment we sails alongside that there galleon, swings across on our
    boarding ropes, cuts the throats of any Spanish soldier what stands in
    our way, and then loads ourselves up with silver and gold!

    Crew: Silver and gold!

    Capt: And then we piles up all the treasure on the main deck, and we
    counts it doubloons by doubloons, jewel by jewel, and then - once we
    know how much booty we've gained through our deeds of black-hearted,
    blood-soaked evil, we'll gather it all up, and invest in a nice little
    pension scheme! Whaddaya say, me hearties?

    Crew: Arrrr! A nice little pension scheme!
  11. Anno Draconis

    Anno Draconis Well-Known Member

    :clap: :D ROFL!

    Very good!

    (sometimes I worry that people on here have too much time on their hands though ;) )
  12. Mrs Fruity

    Mrs Fruity Member

    Year 5 Pirate joke (sorry if it's already been done and I've missed it)

    Which are the only two letters in the Pirate Dictionary???




  13. SuperMosh

    SuperMosh New Member

    just wasted a perfectly good afternoon at work on with my assistant manager and the admin staff. The chat up lines are hilarious and one can never tire of answering the phone with a hearty "aaargh"
  14. bigmamabadger

    bigmamabadger Active Member

    Maybe we can assimilate some PirateSpeak into further posts on TMP?
  15. SuperMosh

    SuperMosh New Member

  16. Nigel Hall

    Nigel Hall Supporting Member

    I loved The Million Pound Radio Show - there was part of the last series of Revolting People that started to go down this road when the main characters encountered pirates...Andy Hamilton recycling!!!!

    There is a great song by an American called Tom Smith called Talk Like A Pirate Day - he has a free download of it ( a live version) on his website ( and many more beside (I heartily recommend Domino Death - well it appealed to my sense of humour).

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