In The Beginning........

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by Maestro, Dec 5, 2004.

  1. Maestro

    Maestro Active Member

    Romford, Essex
    In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli,
    cauliflower, and spinach, with green and yellow and red
    vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and
    healthy lives.

    Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Haagen Das Ice
    Cream and Magnums. And Satan said: "You want hot fudge with
    that?" And Man said:"Yes!" And Woman said: "I'll have one
    too ...with sprinkles." And lo they gained 10 pounds.

    And God created the healthful yoghurt that Woman might keep the
    figure that Man found so fair.

    And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar
    from the cane, and combined them. And Woman went from size 2 to
    size 14.

    So God said: "Try my fresh green garden salad."

    And Satan presented crumbled Blue Cheese dressing and garlic
    croutons on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts
    following the repast.

    God then said: "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and
    olive oil in which to cook them."

    And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter
    dipped lobster chunks, and chicken fried steak so big it needed
    its own platter. And Man's cholesterol went through the roof.

    Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and
    brimming with potassium and good nutrition.

    Then Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy
    centre into chips and deep-fried them in animal fats adding
    copious quantities of salt. And Man put on more pounds.

    God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might
    lose those extra pounds.

    And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man
    would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman
    laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing
    stretch jogging suits.

    God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories
    and still satisfy his appetite.

    And Satan created McDonald's and the .99 pence double
    cheeseburger. Then Satan said: "You want fries with that?" And
    Man replied: "Yes! And super size 'em!" And Satan said: "It is
    good." And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.

    God sighed...and created quadruple by-pass surgery.

    And then...Satan chuckled and created the National Health
  2. lottie4744

    lottie4744 Member

    hahahahahaha! Very Funny :)
  3. six pints

    six pints Active Member

    lmao!! thats ace!!
  4. HBB

    HBB Active Member

    New York City
    So true!
  5. HBB

    HBB Active Member

    New York City
    Well obviously not the Satanic part of it...
  6. Naomi McFadyen

    Naomi McFadyen New Member

    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
  7. mikelyons

    mikelyons Supporting Member

    Bunny, if the God part has to be true, then the Satan part does too. Logically, at least! Nature works by a system of checks and balances, so I imagine God does too. :)
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