If your instrument could talk...

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by The Wherryman, Apr 9, 2008.

  1. The Wherryman

    The Wherryman Active Member

    I've just been listening to Brian (Louis Hamilton's racing car) being interviewed on Radio 4. No, really!

    We spend a lot of time discussing the merits/demerits of our (and other) instruments. If your instrument could talk, what would be it's name and what would it say about YOU?

    Please be careful with regard to reference to lips and tonguing ;)
     
  2. Mesmerist

    Mesmerist Well-Known Member

    My instrument is known as Connie (Constance if she is feeling a bit stroppy and putting in a few unwritten accidentals which happens more often than it should as she is a tad unpredictable). In an ideal world where the band is sponsored and managed by Sir Alan Sugar she would choose to be lacquered in bright pink glitter or perhaps just have a diamond encrusted bell, (something tasteful!). Her owner is alrightish in that she does get a daily airing but could be cleaned and pampered more often. (Connie not the owner who is very clean!) If Connie was a tv character it would have to be Miss Piggy . XXX
     
  3. VenusTromster

    VenusTromster Member

    Not sure what I would call it as I can't really put a name to it, but if it would talk it would probably say, 'thanks for the dents, when are you going to clean me!?!?':biggrin:
     
  4. emziesonic

    emziesonic Member

    Not that mine has a name already :oops: ;)
     
  5. steve butler

    steve butler Active Member

    :clap:
    OOO you do make me laugh.

    I've not come up for a name yet for my shiny new (ish) tuba.

    But she (got to be a she as its lovely to cuddle and........... yes yes be careful etc etc) is proving to be quite an impetuous argumentative type. keeps stopping me from articulating each note correctly!
    I now find that to get the best out of her I have to pretend its saturday night and put my full band uniform on ;)
    I think what she needs to calm her down is to maybe meet up with a nice pink lacqured flugel horn and let nature take its course. Or maybe I should go down the diamond encrusted route?

    I think I'll call her/it Kermit :tup
     
  6. robcav

    robcav Member

    Bess would probably say "Will you please let me out of this sodding box more than twice a week!"
     
  7. Daisy Duck

    Daisy Duck Member

    The 7 year old children in my class at school decided that my cornet should be called Melina.

    I don't think I'd understand her if she talked to me, because the children also noticed that she was made by alien life forms on the planet Jupiter and then came to Britain via Taiwan.
     
  8. Will the Sec

    Will the Sec Active Member

    My tuba is called Courtney, and tells me to sell her to someone who actually likes playing tuba.

    My trombone is called Prongs, 'cos it's a Stagg.

    My pocket trumpet is called "mute", as I intend to stick down an Eb Bass player's bell if things get too bad.
     
  9. Hells Bones

    Hells Bones Active Member

    My trombone would be called Robert (From the film "Assasins" Robert Rath, geddit? ;))

    No idea what he would say to me. Probably something along the lines of "I am a machine of destruction, play me like one and not like a french tickler!"
     
  10. Bryan_sop

    Bryan_sop Active Member

    Don't think I could name any of my instruments, don't really tend to refer to inanimate objects (except my youngest brother of course) by name! I think at least my (bands) Sop and my Trumpet would say 'Ouch that hurts! Will you stop doing that and play in the right octave!' :oops:
     
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  12. Mesmerist

    Mesmerist Well-Known Member

    Would that be your playing Will that was getting too bad or the unfortunate Eb Bass player`s?:biggrin:
     
  13. Masterblaster jnr

    Masterblaster jnr Active Member

    I think mine would have to be called (E)ngel(b)ert T(horn)e and it would say, "You can polish me all you want sonny, it won't make you sound any better"
     
  14. tam-tam2

    tam-tam2 Member

    Mine would say...why do you bother talking to me, I know you want to buy one of those new Prestige's...am I not good enough for you any more!!

    May also say...good grief, all I provide is three valves and some tubing and you still can't put all the correct valves down in the correct place.
     
  15. Lawrencediana

    Lawrencediana Member

    If my instrument were to talk to me it would probably tell me to put it back in its case and leave it there. Stop making it suffer:biggrin:
     
  16. paddo

    paddo Member

    strange!!
     
  17. Will the Sec

    Will the Sec Active Member

    I've played in the Championshiop section, Mezzie. You can't talk to me like that. :biggrin: (But possibly a combination of the two.....!)
     
  18. super_sop

    super_sop Supporting Member

    don't have a name for mine, ( well none i can publish on a FFF!!!)

    But if it could talk it would probably be screaming "let me out of this box!!!!:eek:
     
  19. StellaJohnson

    StellaJohnson Active Member

    My tuba is called Edward EFlat
     
  20. The Wherryman

    The Wherryman Active Member

    Is that the name of your instrument or it's opinion of you? :)
     
  21. animal.22

    animal.22 Member

    I don't think mine would say much atall.I think I've already beaten it into submision.As for a name,it would have to be Perc(y)cussion. :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:
     
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