I need a shoulder to cry on

Discussion in 'Thread Games & Totally Random...' started by mikelyons, Nov 24, 2005.

  1. mikelyons

    mikelyons Supporting Member

    Somebody offer me some comfort, please.

    It's that Mozart time of year again, and we have been watching some of the film Amadeus. Could you believe that three of my year 8 classes believed that:

    They had electric lighting and cars in the 18th Century - so why were they using candles?
    Someone was wandering around filming the Emperor of Austria and his court and Mozart with a hand held video camera and that is how we got the film
    Mozart is still alive
    Salieri disappeared for 250 years and is now back
    A piano and a harpsichord are the same thing (despite my just having shown them that they weren't)
    Mozart was blind (the actual question was "Was he blind all his life or just the first bit?")
    Mozart was deaf (the actual question was "Wasn't he the deaf one wot wrote da-da-da daa?")

    I give up.:(

    Shallow end of the gene pool? I'm beginning to think they aren't even in the water.
  2. DaveR

    DaveR Active Member

    Is that not the case then? ;)

    Only joking! (honestly!)

  3. Pythagoras

    Pythagoras Active Member

    Try teaching fractions! 'To work out a fraction of a number divide by the bottom then times by the top, so what's 3/4 of 200?' '500' AAh!
  4. Di

    Di Active Member

    *shoves a motherly shoulder at Mike* There you go mate, sob you're buckets of tears on there */motherly shoulder*
  5. mikelyons

    mikelyons Supporting Member

    Did you notice the cold, uncaring, "Oh, it's just another skriker" way she did that?

    Huh! You just don't get mumsies like you used to...
  6. Di

    Di Active Member

    *withdraws mumsie shoulder* - naff off and sulk then you ungrateful old *** Its not just anyone gets offered Mumsie's shoulder you know, you have to be special! *storms off in huff*
    Last edited: Nov 24, 2005
  7. DaveR

    DaveR Active Member

    Oh oh!!! Now you've done it!! :eek:
  8. Maestro

    Maestro Active Member

    Try telling year 10 that the reason why a piano has two pedals is: Right pedal helps to move the piano. Left pedal acts as a brake. They believed it!!
  9. Cornishwomble

    Cornishwomble Active Member

    Just before I left the Royal Navy last year there was a 16 year old trainee working for me who had grown up in Hull

    He thought that Cornwall was somewhere near Birmingham and wanted to know what Francis Drake had to do with bowls :(
  10. 2nd man down

    2nd man down Moderator Staff Member

    I had a friend who was once mightily impressed at a party we were at when she saw oblong cucumber slices. She spent ages trying to find who had brought it to ask where they got that shape cucumber from until someone pointed out it had in fact been a normal one...just sliced diagonally.

    *slaps hand to forehead*

    For some people life is a bus they're usually late for.
  11. mikelyons

    mikelyons Supporting Member

    awwww, mumsie, I'm sorry, truly.

    Was just beginning to get warm in the shoulder, though the shoulder pad was a bit damp.

    Puh-leease:( :( :cry: :cry:
  12. Melph

    Melph Member

    Is Mozart Dead!?!
  13. The Cornet King

    The Cornet King Active Member

    One of my Uni housemates thought Hull was on the south coast before he went there :rolleyes:
  14. Melph

    Melph Member

    No, he was mistaking Hull with Hell.... i believe that is on the south coast somewhere.
  15. Di

    Di Active Member

    Well, since you said sorry and please ..... but make sure you have a hanky. Please leave this shoulder as you would wish to find it. Others may need it after you. ;)
  16. yonhee

    yonhee Active Member

    Wow even Im not that thick! At least you arent teaching year sevens about him, for world book day a class of year sevens are writing to Charles Dickens to ask him to come to our school. My english teacher said she didnt want to upset them by saying he was dead...
    How come you actually teach stuff in music? We havent done anything about composers, or anything else really.
  17. Magic Flute

    Magic Flute Supporting Member

    I like the one about the reason for the shape of a grand piano (opera singer leaning on it) - but the comment that followed, that they didn't know when to believe what you said...! I gave up on them too at that point! :rolleyes:
  18. mikelyons

    mikelyons Supporting Member

    Things I despair about...

    Wigan is the shallow end of the gene pool
    Culture here comes from a yoghurt pot or from between the toes
    Rugby fanatics
    Closely related families and recessive genes
    Boys (and girls) who think it's pouffy to be musical
    Orange-faced slappers who think you haven't noticed
    Bovines who think you'll never spot them chewing and lie when you do
    Arrogant individuals who don't realise you mean what you say because nobody else does
    A church school that doesn't encourage due reverence in church services
    A church school that doesn't do christianity in RS
    A head who thinks that staff are always wrong in disputes with parents
    Sorry. Just had to get that off my chest.
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2005

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