How is it that...

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by mikelyons, Aug 26, 2009.

  1. mikelyons

    mikelyons Supporting Member

    Feel free to contribute - no answers, just questions. drivers (and the postman) know precisely when you are going to be out so that they can try to deliver large parcels when there is nobody at home? They even know when you have waited in all day and just nip upstairs to the loo.

    ...when you open plastic packets (cereal inners, nuts etc) that the packet rips suddenly and severely, throwing the contents all over the worktop/table/floor?

    ...when one smoke alarm battery runs down, all the others do as well at 24 hour intervals - and it's always in the middle of the night?

    ...when you get a paper cut it's always in the part of your finger/hand that you use the most?

    ...when you want to be early the bus/train never arrives on time and when you want to be late it all runs spot on? always find stuff in the last place you look?

    ...when you're in a hurry, the rest of the world slows down?

    ...on some days it would be better to just go back to bed, but if you did, the bed would collapse?
  2. Getzonica

    Getzonica Active Member

    Strange isn't it.....
  3. FlugelD

    FlugelD Member

    .... 'Six buses an hour' doesn't mean one every ten minutes, but a convoy of three every half hour.

    .... You have to be out somewhere when they're showing the last part of that serial you were

    .... When you set the video (see above), live football/tennis/cricket/tiddlywinks delays the programme start by half-an-hour.

    .... You never run out of loo roll when the spare roll is within reach.

    .... Valves never stick until the second bar of the solo.

    .... You only draw First when one of your players has been delayed.
  4. mikelyons

    mikelyons Supporting Member

    ...the music you are looking for is in its normal place in your pad, but you suffer from temporary blindness and can't see it?

    ...a LIFO stack works better than Alphabetical order?

    ...I always manage to sit behind someone who is taller than me or has big hair or keeps moving in front of the MD and is a Horn player!
  5. mikelyons

    mikelyons Supporting Member

    ...when you are trying to video a particular person, everyone else in the room takes turns walking in front of the camera.'re late for band and you get behind every slow driver/learner/tractor/wagon/bus in the country?
  6. brassneck

    brassneck Active Member

    ... when in a hurry and trying to cross normally quiet roads, traffic suddenly appears.

    ... when things are left to the last minute when you have plenty time to get them done.
  7. themusicalrentboy

    themusicalrentboy Active Member

    to quote Lee Evans....

    'well yes..... you wouldn't find something and keep ducking looking would you?!'
  8. mikelyons

    mikelyons Supporting Member

    ...that the last place you look should have been the first place.
  9. mikelyons

    mikelyons Supporting Member matter how careful you are, there's always at least one odd sock in the washer.
  10. MrsDoyle

    MrsDoyle Supporting Member

    How is it that whenever I get on the bus it's not one of Wrexham's brand new ones and it explodes in a cloud of smoke by the bus stop?
  11. mikelyons

    mikelyons Supporting Member

    ...the person in front of you in the queue is the one who has a problem and this works even if you change queues.
  12. 4thmandown

    4thmandown Member

    ...they use sterilised needles for executions by lethal injection
  13. Getzonica

    Getzonica Active Member

    .....all the changes at work/school always affect you
  14. mikelyons

    mikelyons Supporting Member

    ...ther are bo good films on at the moment on telly, when I've got chance to watch them!
  15. towse1972

    towse1972 Active Member

    To be honest Mike, I think you mist be disorganised. The only one of these that happens to is the paper cut scenario (painful, verrrry)!
  16. mikelyons

    mikelyons Supporting Member get all your change out to pay at the till ('cos it's a small amount) and you're exactly one new pence short every time.
  17. How is it that my brother, who is with a circus eight hundred miles away, knows when I am sitting down for dessert, and calls before I can take the first bite?
  18. scotchgirl

    scotchgirl Active Member

    ...the girl child knows that Ian is out at band, and I'm so happy to have the telly to she decides to come downstairs every ten minutes until 20 minutes before Ian gets in.

    ...even though I go shopping earlier every year, Asda still only have size 13-14 or 2-3 in school trousers.

    ...the remote control batteries run out at a different time from the remote control car
  19. mikelyons

    mikelyons Supporting Member

    ...The supermarket you choose to go to for a particular item, is the one that doesn't have it in stock, but all the other supermarkets in the neighbourhood are overflowing with it!
  20. mikelyons

    mikelyons Supporting Member

    ...You approach a junction in the car and the lights are on green, there's no one coming on the cross road, but within 50 feet of the lights, they change!

    ... the idiot in the polo/audi/BMW who has just dangerously overtaken you remains in front of you, weaving needlessly from lane to lane, at every traffic light for the next 5 miles.

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