How easy is it to leave a band and why

Discussion in 'The Rehearsal Room' started by eckyboy, Jan 23, 2004.

  1. eckyboy

    eckyboy Member

    I've not long left a band for a number of reasons mainly because I wanted a higher standard and different level of commitment.Found it hard to leave due to having friends and not wanting to let them down but now i am gone I am the bad guy--anyone experienced similar.
  2. James McFadyen

    James McFadyen New Member

    Nope, not me - I'm a commited player at Tullis and regardless of my performing experince playing lead parts and sop, I feel quite at home at Tullis!

    :wink: :wink:
  3. backrowbloke

    backrowbloke Member

    yup... i felt really guilty at leaving a band i had played with for 8 years.
    Immediately afer some of my friends made me feel a bit uncomfortable, but i guess that is natural, especially as i was moving at the time to a major rival. :?

    Time heals though and friendships will continue :)
    If you feel you want to move, then that is the right thing for you, and there is nothing wrong with ambition and wanting to play with a better band
  4. VenusTromster

    VenusTromster Member

    Found it difficult to leave, but was only worried with certain members of the band. All my mates in the band were really supportive of my move and we have since kept in touch and go out for a few drinks.
    Guess i did feel kinda guilty but I know it was the right move. The only problem was choosing which band to move to, but I know I made the right choice.
    It ain't easy, but sometimes its for the best!
  5. shedophone

    shedophone Member

    Personally i have always found that bands i've left have been very supportive and kept in touch. A good way of placating an angry band would be to dep with them for free- playing and keeping in touch with your old friends must be worth it...

    I have known situations however where 'animosity has arisen' as a result of players being 'poached' by another band (particularly a local band). in those cases both the player and their new bands become the 'bad guys', and i suppose it can be understandable sometimes...

    Anyway. I'm sure you're band will come to understand your need to move on in time.
  6. eckyboy

    eckyboy Member

    You cant drive though James :lol:
  7. ted

    ted Member

    I left a band last year after playing with them for 10 years. The decision was easy because firstly I was getting bored with the music and wanted to be challenged in a higher section. Secondly I feel that I was stopping people from coming through, I had three 2nd euphoniums in two years because they wanted to play solo and i wasn't going to drop myself to 2nd because I did my time as a 2nd euphonium player at that band to. So I thought i would be better for everyone if I moved on to a higher section band.

    The adults in the band understood my decision and was very encouraging, in fact, my conductor at the time convinced the conductor of my current band to give me a go on euphonium instead of making me play another part.

    Nowadays it's sort of weird because I don't know if I should still call my old band "my band" and use "we" instead of "you". It's more morally confusing when I'm talking to someone from my old band about my new band. Also a few of the younger players there call me traitor and after ten years devoted one band I think it's a bit unfair but I'm not going to let that get to me. The ones I grew up with are still very nice to me.

    Anyway, I'm now very happy with my new band (went from being one of the oldest players to being one of the youngest players, it's good to have zero expectations! every mistake you make is expected, and every good thing you do is extraordinary!) but after I finish uni I think I'll go and play with my old band on a regular basis as well.

  8. Okiedokie of Oz

    Okiedokie of Oz Active Member

    I left Gladstone after 6 years, becaus eI moved to go to uni. I played with gladstone on occassion to help out, and it was always good to see the old guys.

    It was also great to play with the big boys in A grade. My musicality was pushed, I was no longer left to lead, but to do what I do best and folow suit.

    Now I am living and working again in Gladstone and conducting my old band. My old conductor knows I am a phone call away, and knows my capablilities if he ever needs me, which he does, usually on Bass trom.

    There was little resentment either way from the members, but sometimes I felt the conductors were jealous of each other. They'd never say it, of course.

    Some of the older players at first held me on some sort of pedelstal, claiming me to be a "professional" but thats about it. Leave a lasting impression and all will be right with the world
  9. Rambo Chick

    Rambo Chick Member

    i left my old band because i came to university. my family all play for the band so i keep regular contact with them and everyones friendly. i suppose if you move to go to another band for whatever reasons, its your choice and people do get funny about it but thats just tough! :x

    united co-op yorkshire
  10. Kari Anson

    Kari Anson Member

    Due to having babies and taking on full time work I have had quite a few 'sabatticals' over the past few years. I think the band even expect it of me sometimes and it doesn't come as a shock - there's always somebody ready to jump in my seat though, so as I leave them in a happy state everyone's OK about it and my 'band friendships' continue. However there has been an ocassion where Steve and I have not played with a band - for no specific reason and it's at times like that you really find out who your friends are. Your true friends will stay in touch and for those that don't you realise that they were just 'band friends'.
  11. JessopSmythe

    JessopSmythe Active Member

    If you truly belong to a band you'll never leave. You may sign for another to compete or even move away from the area altogether but you'll still be a part of that band. I moved away from shropshire in 1997 but I still play concerts (and even rehearsals) with Roger and the gang at Wem at every possible opportunity. They may be "only" a third section band but I enjoy playing with them as much, if not more, than some 1st and champ bands I've played with since I moved away.
  12. James McFadyen

    James McFadyen New Member

    Nope, but I'm walking distance to Buckhaven Band........but no force on earth will ever get me playing for them again! :wink: Not in a gazillion years!

    Maybe i'll come to Kingdom! :wink: It's ok Dave, don't worry - i'll be booted out Kingdom for my 'trumpety' tone!

  13. Roger Thorne

    Roger Thorne Active Member

    Thank you for those kind words Mr Smythe! - was it a cheque or cash?

  14. youngman

    youngman Member

    I don't think it is easy to leave a band. I thought long and hard about leaving my current band and had decided to do so at christmas.
    Christmas came and went, and i'm still there after wimping out on the deed at the last minute. The hardest bit is breaking the ties with friends, because you know you will be the bad guy in it all. :(
  15. Lauradoll

    Lauradoll Active Member

    When I left my first band who will remain nameless ahem the top dawg there sent my card back to the registry so it caused problems and delayed my signing for another band. I'd felt guilty until then!! Everyone needs a new challenge at some piont in their lives. Good on ya eckyboy, enjoy your time at Kingdom!!!
  16. DaveBB

    DaveBB Member

    I found that the main reason I left a band was down to changes in conductors some you can work with and build an understanding and mutual respect and some you can't but it's not the easiest thing to do to actually decide and tell the band your leaving
  17. jo

    jo Member

    difficult....but necessary, and ended up being the best decision I made/had forced on me for a long time. Much happier with my new band.
  18. bruceg

    bruceg Active Member

    You're not the bad guy Alec and never were. People were naturally upset that you chose to leave so close to the Regionals but everyone also accepts that there's never a good time to leave a band - there's always another job coming along. Here's hoping that everything goes well for you at Kingdom but you know where there's a seat for you if things don't work out ;)
  19. eckyboy

    eckyboy Member

    appologies Bruce-I never said any of the players made me feel bad as I still have friends there.
    I,m not trying to poach anyone either--just chatting so hope it's taken in the right way :D
  20. bruceg

    bruceg Active Member

    You know it is dude :D