How Do These People Survive??

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by MRSH, Mar 6, 2005.

  1. MRSH

    MRSH Supporting Member

    These are very funny. How DO they survive?

    ONE[font=&quot]
    Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets

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    TWO
    [font=&quot]I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.
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    [font=&quot]THREE
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    [font=&quot]A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

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    [font=&quot]FOUR[/font][font=&quot]
    I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

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    FIVE
    [font=&quot]Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
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    SIX[font=&quot]
    I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

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    SEVEN
    [font=&quot]My neighbour works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
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    EIGHT[font=&quot]
    Police in [/font]
    [font=&quot]Radnor[/font][font=&quot], [/font][font=&quot]Pa.[/font][font=&quot], interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed. [/font][font=&quot]
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    NINE
    [font=&quot]A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency.



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  2. HBB

    HBB Active Member

    In the fact that they usually get snapped up by McDonalds, Tescos and Sainsbury's as they are cheap labour!
     
  3. meandmycornet

    meandmycornet Active Member

    Excuse me Mr Bunny Boy but I work in sainsbury's and i'm not stupid! :(
     
  4. yonhee

    yonhee Active Member

    thats kinda scary....
     
  5. HBB

    HBB Active Member

    Not neccesarily all Sainsbury's employees are stupid, but the majority are high-school dropouts who can't actually get another job, and they don't bother taking other poeple that might actually be a better employment opportunity. AND they wouldn't even give me an application form :cry:
     
  6. Nuke

    Nuke Active Member

    Yea i never got an application form for sainsburys either.
    Wierd that. Maybe we never got one cause were overqualified. What with being able to walk AND talk at the same time means we could have been a supervisor
     
  7. six pints

    six pints Active Member

    maybe they thought having staff that looked down on other staff wouldnt contribute well to team spirit
     
  8. HBB

    HBB Active Member

    Yes - but what do Sainsbury's want - a good spirit, or people that have an IQ of more than 50?
     
  9. six pints

    six pints Active Member

    theres no reason you cant have both. just cos some people who arent that bright work there doesnt mean everyone is. and people are usually reluctant to hire people who think they are too clever for a job because they dont make an effort to do it well.

    (just before anyone complains i dont have a sense of humour, yes i did find the original post hilarious, it just really annoys me when people generalise and put down people who are "high school dropouts". getting a few A levels doesnt make anyone a good person. and if anyone wants to point out that im generalising myself by talking bout "clever people" then yeah, you're right. but hey, im not perfect)
     
  10. meandmycornet

    meandmycornet Active Member

    actually most of the people who work at the sainsbury's where I work are students doing alevels or equivelent at the local sixth form college (including me!) so their not high school drop outs!
     
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  12. super_sop

    super_sop Supporting Member

    sorry beny, but youve anoyed me a liitle hear aswell! it may have been made in jest and i hope it was as , my wife works in sainsbury's and has done for some time. just because someboidy works in a shop, doesnt meen they are thick, ask my wife who is very qualified
     
  13. mikelyons

    mikelyons Supporting Member

    And then successfully sued the company who sold him the motorhome because they hadn't explained that 'cruise control' did not mean that the vehicle would drive itself.
     
  14. bigmamabadger

    bigmamabadger Active Member

    What people don't know is that many shop staff are actually much cleverer than you, they just pretend to be dim to annoy you. I worked in Littlewoods when I was a student and I found the "dumb insolence" trick very handy when dealing with stroppy customers.:tongue:
    BMB
    xx
     
  15. I worked at Littlewoods till a few months ago aswell and the "dumb insolence" trick is definately very useful!
     
  16. kiwiposaune

    kiwiposaune New Member

    I think you're all missing the obvious answer - many of these people go on to become committee members of bands - those not able to make the grade as committee members, managers, band secretaries, etc. become famous conductors
     
  17. Naomi McFadyen

    Naomi McFadyen New Member

    the JOKE at the start of the thread............

    :lol: I actually laughed out loud at some of them :lol: nice find MRSH! :)
     
  18. Craigsav83

    Craigsav83 Active Member

    Really good - I like lots :)

    While on supermarkets... In the store I work in, about half of the workers are students, and a percentage have masters degrees and honours degrees, and are studying for doctorates - applying for jobs in the field of science is VERY competitive, many cant find a job in their field soon after their graduation.
     
  19. ScrapingtheBottom

    ScrapingtheBottom Active Member

    Well, no more so than other professions. Pay is crap though, they might as well stay at Sainsburys.

    I'm afraid I'm going to have to be un-PC and say that stupid people annoy me. However I get mad at the state more than anything else because it's lack of knowledge not intelligence that accounts for the vast majority of stupidity in this country. Also stupid people tend to have a very dim (pardon the pun) view of the things I hold dear (Education and Science).

    However, not everyone at a supermarket is stupid, but you do get some dummies.
     
  20. Jamie

    Jamie Member

    I agree with the supermarket bit... most of them are actually students at the time, biding their time til something comes up, or are older people who have family commitments or similar and can't or choose not to enter another profession. But you can't deny there are a few numpties out there. I used to work with a guy (in a restaurant) who used to start at 6 and by 6.10 was asking if he could finish yet, and could communicate only in grunts and neanderthal gestures!!


    McDonalds on the other hand.... in my experience, it's in a league of its own for these sorts! But before you all jump- this is only in my experience, in the number of McDonalds 'restaurants' I have visited, with the staff who were present at the time! Perhaps they were having a bad day or putting it on! ;) Ok?!
     
  21. ScrapingtheBottom

    ScrapingtheBottom Active Member

    McDonalds is great. It's full of people who don't give a **** and one smug git who thinks he's really good at burger flipping and 'have a nice day'-ing but is actually hated by everyone including customers.
     
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