Here's one for you...

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by Well Worth It, Aug 17, 2004.

  1. Well Worth It

    Well Worth It Active Member

    Conspiracy theory of the day.

    Mobile phones are the government's way of tracking each and every one of our movements. Our phone numbers are our unique ID#s.
    Changing phone will be futile as a voice recognition programme captures your speech patterns and inflections linking you to that particular phone.
    They are able to bug our conversations, even when we're not on the phone to anyone.
    This function is only activated by certain keywords such as great big bomb; parliament; nuclear detonation and suchlike...
    If you have a camera phone though - beware......Big Brother is watching you. :shock:'s probably nothing :wink:
  2. TheMusicMan

    TheMusicMan tMP Founder Staff Member

    hehe... though you may jest...! I saw a a programme recently on BBC last week where they were talking about voice analysis software being used by insurance companies to assess the inflections in a voice when calling in to make an insurance claim. No mention of which companies had used this. Disturbingly though - the talk soon moved on to the same software soon being able to be used to 'listen into' and "analyse" your private mobile conversations... a worrying thought indeed.

    Definately big bro eh...
  3. ScrapingtheBottom

    ScrapingtheBottom Active Member

    Well when they start advertising for the thought police I'm joining up - better in than out I say.
  4. Big Twigge

    Big Twigge Active Member

    If you see me talking to my phone in a none telephone call manner, don't worry. It'll be me with Angus, my new phone friend(big brother type person). He watches me, monitors my behaviour and is with me all the time then. I can't hear him but apparently he can hear me. A friend for life...sounds like fun!
  5. Okiedokie of Oz

    Okiedokie of Oz Active Member

    Nice pic by the way Caroline!!

    It's scary to think our governments would do such a thing!! But it';s worse when we realise WE PUT THEM THERE!!!
  6. WoodenFlugel

    WoodenFlugel Moderator Staff Member

    Ah but how do you know who put who where - after all it's government-run agencies that announce the results isn't it. :shock: :? :roll: :evil:

    *strokes chin and gives a knowing nod* :wink:

    Seriously though I'm glad I wasn't the only one who was a bit shocked by that. Having exprienced first-hand the difference between an insurance company taking my money and me making a legitimate claim for some of theirs, I can't help but think that this "voice assessment" software might be used as another delaying tactic by some of the less scrupulous insurers. It would be intersting to see how much the evidence gained from these would hold-up in a claims court, after all lie detector tests are notoriously inaccurate, and I can't see that the technology would be completely fail-safe. I wonder how it copes with the multitude of regional accents, and the huge amount of variations within each regoinal dialect :?

    Then again reading that back I'm starting to sound like a conspiricy theorist myself so I'd better shut up!!! :shock:
  7. lynchie

    lynchie Active Member

    They're all after me! Give me my tinfoil hat!!!

  8. WoodenFlugel

    WoodenFlugel Moderator Staff Member

    NO!!! Don't wear that!!! The tinfoil will amplify your brainwaves enough for "them" to be able to read them!!

    You're better off with a nice plutonium hat like the one I'm wearing... :roll:
  9. lynchie

    lynchie Active Member

    Fair enough... tell you what, I'll get the lead casing and cyanide capsules if you get the mind "protecting" drugs...
  10. jameshowell

    jameshowell Active Member

    I'll bring the home-made fresh sealed food supplies (they may have poisoned the tinned beans) and we can all hide in the bunker I just decided to build for us in my garden (plutonium lined of course, WoodenFlugel)!
  11. akwarose

    akwarose Active Member

    can i share please?? i'm fairly small, so i can squeeze into a corner and dont take up too much room, and i'm housetrained. :D
  12. Well Worth It

    Well Worth It Active Member

    WWI's Conspiracy Theory of the Day.

    The Government have known for 6 years that your average street light emits 4 times more alpha-wave radiation than your mobile phone.
    This level of daily exposure raises the chances of cancerous dermatallogic development by a whopping 18%.
    Because of the astronomical cost and strain on local council resources that replacing all street illuminations would cause and require, this knowledge has been kept from us for all this time.
    My solution would be to keep indoors after dark.
    If a night-time sortie can not be avoided, be sure to smear yourself in thick lashings of high SPF cream.'s probably nothing :wink:
  13. lynchie

    lynchie Active Member

    but... but... I have a street light right outside my window... and it's always on...

    they really are out to get me... :shock:

  14. jameshowell

    jameshowell Active Member

    Me too, I have one right outside my window. Does this mean me and Lynchie have to wear High Factor suncream ALL the time... :shock:
  15. mikelyons

    mikelyons Supporting Member

    I thought you already did! :lol:
  16. jameshowell

    jameshowell Active Member

    What are you implying... :oops: :wow
  17. Well Worth It

    Well Worth It Active Member

    WWI's Conspiracy Theory of the Day

    The melting of the polar ice caps is not caused, as we have been led to believe, by a hole in the ozone layer.
    The Arctic has been eroded for years by the pH imbalanced waste that factories are dumping daily into our rivers and oceans several hundred tonnes at a time.
    It is this pH imbalance that is eating away at the ice plains.

    But you have to ask yourself.....where does our rain come from?

    If companies persist in dumping all their toxic shit into the sea, it's as good as fixing an industrial hosepipe to their waste canisters and spraying the entire country directly.
    THAT is why you shouldn't eat snow.'s probably nothing :wink:

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