Help me! I need Musical Christmas Jokes!

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by meandmycornet, Dec 8, 2007.

  1. meandmycornet

    meandmycornet Active Member

    Mother's PC is ermmmm a bit broken... so she's given me a mission!

    I have to find a couple of decent musical christmas jokes for some of the baby band children to read out at tonights concert.... so far I have:


    What's the best christmas present ever?
    A drum, you can't beat it!


    and that's it :tongue:

    help me!
     
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  3. Will the Sec

    Will the Sec Active Member

    Go to the bad joke thread and type "Christmas" or "Xmas" in the search field...
     
  4. sugarandspice

    sugarandspice Active Member

    PM Garry- he has loads of awful xmas jokes- and a poem about a snowball that always goes down well!

    I'll text him and tell him to talk to you!
     
  5. meandmycornet

    meandmycornet Active Member

    ooooh snowball poem sounds good!

    I wrote that joke wrong earlier... it should have been a broken drum :p
     
  6. MissRepiano

    MissRepiano New Member


    You only had one joke and couldn't even tell that one right!!! ha ha ha ha Fi!!!

    I'm not much help I'm afraid, although this site may be of use :

    http://www.harrogate.co.uk/harrogate-band/indexhum.htm
     
  7. sugarandspice

    sugarandspice Active Member

    Snowball


    Author: by Shel Silverstein


    Snowball
    by Shel Silverstein

    I made myself a snow ball as perfect as could be.
    I thought I'd keep it as a pet and let it sleep with me.
    I made it some pajamas and a pillow for it's head.
    Then, last night it ran away.
    But first -- it wet the bed.


    My class in America were mad on this poet- so it might be worth you looking for some similar peoms to take over with you in March! :)
     
  8. ploughboy

    ploughboy Active Member

    Knock Knock,
    Who's There?
    Our Wayne!
    Our Wayne who?
    Our Wayne in a Manger!

    A Fairy has a hard time
    Up where the tinsel flickers
    A wand of gold stuck in her hand
    a fir tree up her knickers!

    What goes oh oh oh?
    Father Christmas walking backwards!

    What do you call a Cow at the North Pole?
    Eski-moo

    What does Sants call that three-legged Reindeer?
    Eileen!
     
  9. Masterblaster jnr

    Masterblaster jnr Active Member

    what defines the christmas spirit?

    Mulled wine and sherry


    What is santa's favourite place in england?

    Plymouth Hoe Hoe Hoe
     
  10. tam-tam2

    tam-tam2 Member

    Almost had me off the end of my chair with those!! Will try dutifully to contain myself!! Fi, you should have asked Charlie - I am sure he will come up with some corkers on Monday night!!

    Oh, Kelly.......that was a good poem, enjoyed that!
     
  11. Will the Sec

    Will the Sec Active Member

    And why not Westward Ho! Ho! Ho!?
     
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  13. sugarandspice

    sugarandspice Active Member

    Why thankyou- We've done loads of Xmas poems in School- this week im supposed to be teaching my yr3/4's shape poems which are pretty simple- with year 5/6 i have to so personification poems, not so easy- any help gratefully recieved! :)

    All in preparation for our Poe-tree A tree with poems on it! I love doing displays|!
     
  14. Masterblaster jnr

    Masterblaster jnr Active Member

    I think more people know Plymouth hoe than Westward Ho as places
     
  15. RobBari

    RobBari Member

    How does Santa like his pizza?


    Deep Pan, Crisp and Even!

    I can't believe i just made this public!
     
  16. MattB

    MattB Member

    Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman die on Christmas Eve. All three are waiting at the pearly gates, at St Peter says, 'In keeping with the christmas spirit you must show me something related to the season in order to gain entry to heaven. If you fail you will go straight to hell'.

    The Englishman pulls out a mince pie, and in he goes.
    the Scotsman pulls out a sprig of mistletoe, and in he goes.
    The Irishman looks panicked, but then pulls out a pair of knickers.

    'What on earth do these have to do with Christmas?' asks St Peter.

    'They're Carol's'.
     
  17. andyp

    andyp Active Member

    Christmas Day is just like a day at work.

    You do all the hard work, then some fat guy in a suit turns up and takes all the credit!
     
  18. sevenhelz

    sevenhelz Active Member

    (courtesy of Alex Wilkinson)
    I knew a turkey once who could never eat much - he was always stuffed.
     
  19. Masterblaster jnr

    Masterblaster jnr Active Member

    What did one snowman say to the other?

    Mmmm...Can you smell carrots

    A man was questioned by the media after he witnessed 2 snowmen fighting, he described it as a cold blooded fight in which both competitors came out with black eyes.


    A girl asked "Daddy, can we have a dog for Christmas?"
    He replied, "No, we're having a Turkey like evryone else!"
     

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