Harsh.......but fair!

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by dyl, Sep 4, 2003.

  1. dyl

    dyl Active Member

    A married millionaire couple is driving along a country road doing a
    steady forty miles per hour. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife
    suddenly looks across at him and speaks in a clear voice. Darling," she
    says. "I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce."

    The husband says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly
    increases his speed to 45 mph. The wife speaks again. "I don't want you
    to try and talk me out of it," she says, "because I've been having an
    affair with your best friend, and he's a far better lover than you are."

    Again the husband stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly
    and slowly increases the speed to 55.

    She pushes her luck. "I want the house," she says insistently. Up to 60.
    "I want the cars, too," she continues. 65 mph. "And," she says, "I'll have
    the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat."

    The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This
    makes her a wee bit nervous, so she asks him: "Isn't there anything
    you want?"

    The husband at last replies - in a quiet and controlled voice, "No, I've
    got everything I need." he says.

    "Oh, really?" she enquires, "So what have you got?"

    Just before they slam into the wall at 70ph, the husband turns to her
    and says.......

    "The Airbag" :lol:
  2. Roger Thorne

    Roger Thorne Active Member

    Excellent Dyl.

    :lol: :lol: :lol:
  3. Andy_Euph

    Andy_Euph Active Member

    LOL :lol:

    Here's one for you:

    A couple decide that they want to go and visit the Holy Land and so start making preperations, unfortunately the mother in law hears about and wants to go too.
    So 2 days into there holiday the mother in law drops down dead and the couple go to the British Consulate to sort things out. The consul tells them the have two choices

    a) pay £5000 and the body can be flow back to England to be buried
    b) pay £500 and the mother in law can be buried in the Holy Land

    so the guy thinks and then finally says "ok we'll take the £5000 option", his wife turns to him questioning his decision as £5000 is a lot of money but he simply turns around and says "look 2000 years ago they buried a guy here and he rose from the grave after three days and there is no way i'm taking that chance!" :lol: :lol:

    Sorry if the joke is a bit dodgy but i liked it :D
  4. super_sop

    super_sop Supporting Member

    lol both great
  5. Big Twigge

    Big Twigge Active Member

    teeheehee very funny! :lol:
  6. Naomi McFadyen

    Naomi McFadyen New Member

    lol! Good one dyl...

    As for the Holy Land joke... I posted it already a while back...
    ;-) good init

  7. blondie

    blondie Member

    Tres Amusent Dyl. :lol:
  8. twigglet

    twigglet Member

    Molto bene Dyl, bravissimo!!

    (see blondie we can all be 'continental')
  9. PeterBale

    PeterBale Moderator Staff Member

    Und auch zehr gut, Herr Dyl :!: :wink: :lol:
  10. Keppler

    Keppler Moderator Staff Member

    An a mhaith, ar fad, a Dhyl..

    (just to get into the spirit of things)
  11. dyl

    dyl Active Member

    Diolch yn fawr, bawb! ;)
  12. PeterBale

    PeterBale Moderator Staff Member

    Avez vous un cuppa? Le premier the anglais!
  13. Seedhouse

    Seedhouse Active Member

    In English plz??? :lol:
  14. dyl

    dyl Active Member

    Pam? ;)
  15. stopher

    stopher Member

    In cofi welsh

    Da iawn ****!
  16. mi piace l'amusica :?

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