Ha Ha [anyone got anything funny about brass bands and banding?]

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by Bob Sherunkle, Jun 10, 2011.

  1. Bob Sherunkle

    Bob Sherunkle Active Member

    Dear Brass Band fans

    Many of you will no doubt have read my seminal thesis "Floral Dancing into the 21st Century" by Bob Sherunkle BA Hons (failed).

    After much thought I have decided that my next work should be somewhat more light-hearted, humorous even!

    The trouble is that I can't think of anything to write and have been staring at a blank page for days.

    I have noticed that others on themouthpiece have requested help with their college work and suchlike, so I thought I would ask if anyone here can think of anything funny about brass bands and banding. I have some contacts in the banding media so who knows, your ideas might even make it into print!

    Many thanks in anticipation of your help.

    Lets get to work!

    Regards

    Bob

    PS No baritone jokes please
     
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  3. jezza23361

    jezza23361 Member

    Ha ha indeed - so now not only I am featuring constantly in your articles you actually want me to write it for you. I will be looking for appearance fees in the future and a share in your earnings from BBW - postal orders in the sum of 50p should be sent to..................

    Love to all

    Jezz
     
  4. Laserbeam bass

    Laserbeam bass Active Member

    How about

    Confessions of a metallurphile

    "Your love for brass bands is as inappropriate as a greengrocer's apostrophe"
     
  5. still learnin

    still learnin Member

    "Resisted Overtures - Recollections of a brass bandsman's fantasies at Pontins' contests " by I. M. A Stalker.
     
  6. Brassbones

    Brassbones Member

    Say something funny about bands that doesn't include baritones? Hmmm, thats a tough one.

    How about:

    Q. How do you know there is a bass trombone player at the door?
    A. The door bell drags.

    Q. What do you call a BBb player with a business card?
    A. An optimist.

    Q. What's the difference between [insert well known conductor name] and Jesus?
    A. Jesus never claimed he could conduct brass bands.

    I'll stop now ........
     
  7. Bob Sherunkle

    Bob Sherunkle Active Member


    Dear Jeremy

    Well you know what they say. "There's no such thing as bad publicity". Unless you are Ryan Giggs I suppose!

    Can I have your Thora Hird joke? Not sure it is worth 50p tho'.

    Regards

    Bob
     
  8. Colin.Doran

    Colin.Doran Member

    POINTINS SUITE
    THE THREE NIGHTS OF PONTINS
    (Based very loosely on the 12 days of Christmas)
    On the first night of Pontin’s the bar staff gave to me two dirty slappers and a very nasty looking STD
    On the second night of Pontin’s the bar staff gave to me Four large WKD’s Three Vodka jellies two dirty slappers and a very nasty looking STD
    On the third night of Pontin’s the bar staff gave to me six pints of cider Five spewing rings !!! Four large WKD’s Three Vodka jellies two dirty slappers and a very nasty looking STD
    On the day after Pontins the Doctor gave to me eight antibiotics seven Anadin tablets six pints of cider five spewing rings !!! Four large WKD’s Three Vodka jellies two dirty slappers and a very nasty looking STD
     
  9. jezza23361

    jezza23361 Member

    Yes of course - however that particular tale is so old it still retails at 2 shillings and sixpence

    J
     
  10. Bob Sherunkle

    Bob Sherunkle Active Member

    You have had your money's worth from it then !!!


    Thanks for the other offerings here. I worry about laserbeam.
     
  11. Laserbeam bass

    Laserbeam bass Active Member


    :eek:

    Bandology

    The latest course to be offered at Salford/Huddersfield
     
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  13. Bob Sherunkle

    Bob Sherunkle Active Member


    That is quite funny
     

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