Getting older..........

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by John Brooks, Nov 14, 2005.

  1. John Brooks

    John Brooks Well-Known Member

    OK, since I'll be 60 on Wednesday, I'm perhaps feeling a little melancholy. So, now that I'm about to reach that new plateau in my life, here's what I've discovered:

    1. I started out with nothing and still have most of it.

    2. I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.

    3. All reports are now in and life is indeed unfair.

    4. It's easier to get older than to get wiser (I really like that one; it's so true).

    I've got several others, but before I continue, what can other tMP'ers add?
  2. Roger Thorne

    Roger Thorne Active Member

    At the age of 60! You will still be able to chase the ladies, but when you eventually catch them you'll have forgotten what you were chasing them for!!

  3. meandmycornet

    meandmycornet Active Member

    are you speaking from experience roger? :tongue:
  4. brassneck

    brassneck Active Member

    I always like the classic "you're only as young as you feel" (as long as it's legal) ;)
  5. bigmamabadger

    bigmamabadger Active Member

    I'm only 36 and I was horrified to realise while flirting with a policeman to make him let me park my car near to the Remembrance parade on Sunday, that I was nearly old enough to be his mother. I'm over halfway through my life already. I have nothing witty to add. I'm far too depressed.

  6. Will the Sec

    Will the Sec Active Member

    I thought that was "as the person you're feeling".

    Which made me feel 13 years older at one point in my life.

    And 21 years younger at another... :biggrin:
  7. bigmamabadger

    bigmamabadger Active Member

    Were either of those situations legal, Will?!?
  8. Will the Sec

    Will the Sec Active Member

    Yes........... I was 37 at the start of one of those instances and the wrong side of ^cough^ ^splutter^*** plus two for the other...
  9. iancwilx

    iancwilx Well-Known Member

  10. brassneck

    brassneck Active Member

    The thing that gets to me as we eventually grow old is that we spend most of our lives trying to be assertive, only to compromise and give way to younger generations as the years pass by! Otherwise we are tagged as grumpy! :mad:
  11. 2nd man down

    2nd man down Moderator Staff Member

    An old friend of mine spoke words of wisdom when he told me;
    "You know you're beginning to get old when it takes you all night to do what you used to do all night."

    Guess the man had a point. :wink:
  12. Rob Palmer

    Rob Palmer Member

    Old age is a terrible thing…………….until you consider the alternative!

    1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
    2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
    3 ) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
    4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
    5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
    6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
    7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

    Don’t want to worry you about what the future holds but……………
    * At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
    * At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
    * At age 17 success is . . . having a drivers license.
    * At age 20 success is . . . having sex.
    * At age 35 success is . . . having money.
    * At age 50 success is . . . having money.
    * At age 60 success is . . . having sex.
    * At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
    * At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
    * At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants

    Just don’t worry, age is only a number…. In your case it's a BIG one but a number all the same. It’s how you live your life & not how you measure it that counts.

    And Remember…..
    "When life hands you a lemon, ask for a bottle of tequila and salt"

    I'm not that far behind you.
  13. John Brooks

    John Brooks Well-Known Member

    Some good ones above; keep 'em coming. Here are a couple more from my list:

    My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran!

    I don't remember being absent minded.

    The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.

    These days I spend a lot of time thinking about the hearafter........I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after!
  14. Rob Palmer

    Rob Palmer Member

    * 1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jelly to a tree.
    * 2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
    * 3) Families are like fudge..... mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
    * 4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground
    * 5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
    * 6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.

    * 1) You believe in Santa Claus.
    * 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
    * 3) You are Santa Claus.

    * 4) You look like Santa Claus.

    Plus my all time favourite!!!!!

    A Good Motto to Live By…………
    "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive & well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, pint in hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out & screaming……………WHAT A RIDE!"

  15. brassneck

    brassneck Active Member

    - Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~ George Bernard Shaw
    - How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were? ~ Satchel Paige
    - Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age. ~ Victor Hugo
    - Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother. ~ G. Norman Collie
    - Don't worry about avoiding temptation - as you grow older, it starts avoiding you. ~ Author Unknown
    - Old men are fond of giving good advice, to console themselves for being no longer in a position to give bad examples. ~ François La Rochefoucauld
    - I'm not 40, I'm eighteen with 22 years experience. ~ Author Unknown
  16. Will the Sec

    Will the Sec Active Member

    Live fast, die young, leave a beautiful corpse. (Wonderfuly depicted in a pastiche of James Dean in "Eerie, Indiana".)
  17. meandmycornet

    meandmycornet Active Member

    but then you won't get a telegram for Queenie, do you not want a telegram from Queenie?
  18. HBB

    HBB Active Member

    I doubt it'll be the Queen when you get to 100 - it's more likely to be William's first born!
  19. yonhee

    yonhee Active Member

    OK then but what age is young?

    Queenie? Do you make up nicknames for everyone Fi?
  20. meandmycornet

    meandmycornet Active Member

    yes i do everyone has a nickname flospy :D

    Oh and young is obviously older than Will, isn't it? :tongue:

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