For all those working with the public!!

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by Cantonian, Aug 12, 2005.

  1. Cantonian

    Cantonian Active Member

    For everyone who has to work with THE PUBLIC.......

    Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get
    through to enquiries, can you help?".
    Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?".
    Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
    Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".

    Samsung Electronics
    Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
    Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking
    Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that
    I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone
    Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
    Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".

    RAC Motoring Services
    Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am
    travelling in Australia?"
    Operator: Doesn't the product give you a clue?

    Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in
    "If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel
    to the other side of the car?"

    Directory Enquiries
    Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please".
    Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
    Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B'
    fell off".

    Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
    Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
    Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland".

    On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone
    box told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up
    the window to write the number on".

    Computer Capers
    Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
    Customer: "OK".
    Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".
    Customer: "No".
    Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
    Customer: "No".
    Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this
    Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".

    Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you
    see the 'OK' button displayed?"
    Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

    Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised
    that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my
    file back again?".

    There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a
    long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This
    is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed
    from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to
    say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing
    the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".

    Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now
    I know why they record these conversations!):

    Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
    Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
    Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
    Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words
    went away."
    Operator: "Went away?"
    Caller: "They disappeared."
    Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
    Caller: "Nothing."
    Operator: "Nothing??"
    Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
    Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
    Caller: "How do I tell?"
    Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
    Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
    Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
    Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I
    Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
    Caller: "What's a monitor?"
    Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
    Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
    Caller: "I don't know."
    Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the
    power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
    Caller: "Yes, I think so."
    Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's
    plugged into the wall.
    Caller: "Yes, it is."
    Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there
    were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
    Caller: "No."
    Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find
    the other cable."
    Caller: "Okay, here it is."
    Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into
    the back of your computer."
    Caller: "I can't reach."
    Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
    Caller: "No."
    Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way
    Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's
    because it's dark."
    Operator: "Dark??"
    Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is
    coming in from the window."
    Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
    Caller: "I can't."
    Operator: "No? Why not??"
    Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
    Operator: "A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked
    now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your
    computer came in??"
    Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
    Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just
    like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought
    it from."
    Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
    Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
    Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
    Operator: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer
  2. dyl

    dyl Active Member

  3. Ruthless

    Ruthless Member

    My mother-in-law when asked by directory enquiries "address"..gave her own...

    she then wondered why she was given her own phone number to ring!!
  4. Craigsav83

    Craigsav83 Active Member

    Dont get me started on silly quotes from the puclic! lol Having worked in retial since the age of 17, I have certainly heard some crackers!

    Customer - Where are your vegetatian chickens? :confused:
    Me - <puzzled expression> after further questioning, it was Quorn pieces she was after. :rolleyes:

    Customer looking into rotisserie oven... - "Are those chickens hot?" :confused:

    Customer looking into chilled deli cabinet... "Are your sausage rolls hot?" :confused:

    And many many more that I can't think of right now!

    Come on, use some common sense! :rolleyes:
  5. akwarose

    akwarose Active Member

    the best ones i hear at work...

    (after seeing the ride in operation) "is this open?"

    (standing by the gate marked entrance) "where's the way in?"

    (after having seen people cycling round the monorail track) "do you have to pedal this to make it go?" i felt like saying no... those people just like moving their legs up and down randomly...

    oh, and the best one yet, walking up main street towards the centre of the park a customer asked me if i knew where the castle was. referring, of course, to the large white castle shaped building behind me...