Starved by the lack of 'bon mots' from the England players last night? Then feast until you....... don't, on these.... A Year In Quotes 2003 “I would say relegation is three from four because we are already out of it in my mind.” Sunderland’s manager Howard Wilkinson whilst his team were bottom and on their way to becoming the worst Premiership side in history. “Fetch me an abacus!” - John Champion as Arsenal go 4-0 up at Man City. “Marcel [Desailly] will come in for a game and he won’t even know who we are playing. He will say to me, ‘Baba, who are we playing today?’ Then he comes into training during week and doesn’t know what day of the week it is.” - Celestine Babayaro explains that age is not catching up with the Chelsea skipper. “His name was Declan Roche and he was talking back to me - so I got these dead pigeons out of a box and slapped him round the face with one.” - Partick manager John Lambie on his own ‘Bootgate’saga. “I'm not going to lie about it. I thought it's about time someone whacked him in the face - that's just what I felt.” – Typical Rodney Marsh on Dion Dublin head-butting Robbie Savage. “He is flat out in the dressing room, I just knocked him out. Now I might go round and burn down his house.” – Wolves boss Dave Jones on his ‘special’ relationship with old employee and Southampton scorer Chris Marsden. “If I don’t have an ambition of managing AC Milan or England then it lies in managing Charlton, for example, which there’s an outside chance with the connection I’ve got. No disrespect to Charlton but is that me fulfilled? No, it’s not what I want.” - Alan Pardew, who later went on to take the hotseat at the mighty West Ham. “Taricco fell over and his feet were in the air. He pushed them out and hit me in the chest on purpose and, as some foreigners do, he was rolling around like a little girl.” – West Ham’s young Glen Johnson, before any media training. “I played with Jim Leighton for a long time and I don't think he could have even reached the other box - he would have been booked for time-wasting.” - Gordon Strachan on his attacking goalkeeper Niemi. “I’m going to use his tablets – or he’s using mine.” – Bobby Robson on the tireless Kieron Dyer. “I shouldn't really say what I feel, but (Graham) Poll was their best midfielder in the goal. You saw him coming off at half-time and at the end. He smiled so much, he obviously enjoyed that performance.” – Neil Warnock, Sheffield United boss, after the referee helps Arsenal score the winner in the cup. “It will not need an operation, it just leans to one side a little when I walk.” – Laurent Robert talking about his knee… honest! “It might sound strange after we have just been relegated, but I think a lot of people will be envious of my position.” – Mick McCarthy on how lucky he is to be at the helm of a sinking ship. “Andy O'Brien has an horrendous nose, the poor lad. It is massive, it is black and blue and it is awful.” – Sir Bobby Robson gets personal. “Right ankle, right hand and right side of my forehead - I'm sick. I tried to get on to the team bus after the game with crutches but I couldn't because of my right hand! I was a bit of a mess, really, but there you go.” – Alan Shearer in a RIGHT mess. “I'm delighted for Frank (Lampard) because when he first came here, first of all, there were lots of questions about him, why are we signing a Hammer?” – Ken Bates not trying to rub it in too much… “Unless the club suddenly inherits £500 million or a relative of mine dies and leaves me £1 billion, players will be leaving.” – Mick McCarthy, still hopeful,then. “Fergie should send me a decent bottle of red. I'm hoping for a crate but, knowing Fergie as I do, it will probably be a bottle.” – Peter Reid after Leeds beat Arsenal to send the Premiership trophy to Old Trafford. “I'm a London boy but I am also a great lover of football - although Real Madrid and Barcelona are not quite looking at me at the moment!” – Jody Morris, hopefully not holding his breath on that changing. “The doctors have told me that the pain in my Achilles is connected with my teeth. They've advised me to have some teeth taken out but I'm afraid of the dentist and so I kept putting it off.” - Vladimir Smicer defies biology. “Massimo (Maccarone) has a bit of a dodgy shoulder, he doesn't look too good in his Armani suits! He's not happy with that and he needs his shoulder sorting.” - Steve Harrison on Maccarone, who doesn’t look too good in a Middlesbrough kit too. “I have seen Manchester United so many times on television this season and they were playing really poor football - really rubbish.” – Patrick Vieira, rubbing it in, big time “I gave away the foul that Leeds scored one goal from, then put the ball into my own net from their free-kick. I don't want to say I lost us the championship, but...” – Ashley Cole on his man-of-the-match performance.