Favourite Musical Quotes

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by Zappa, Jan 2, 2010.

  1. Zappa

    Zappa Member

    Add any quotes you like ... Either by the greatest philosophers or by your own MD's!!

    ''Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence'' anon

    ''Without music life would be meaningless'' Nietzsche

    I heard that apparently a brass band conductor once said before his band went on stage ... ''Just remember, your cock up, my a***'' Made me chuckle!!
  2. Crazysop

    Crazysop Member

    "The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer" Victor Borge
    "It's called rap music because the c fell off the printer" Allan Bease

    "Bagpipes are the missing link between music and noise" E.K.Kruger

    "A Harpsichord sounds like two skeletons copulating on a corrugated tin roof" Thomas Beecham

    "The tuba is certainly one of the most intestinal of instruments - the very bowels of music" Peter de Vries

    " His singing was something between that of a rat drowning, a lavatory flushing and a hyena devouring her afterbirth in the Appalachian mountains under a full moon " Auberon Waugh

    "His vibrato sounded like he was driving a tractor over ploughed fields with weights tied to his scrotum" Spike Milligan.

    "You sounded like someone who should be singing on a cruise ship. Halfway through your song, I wished the ship was sinking." Simon Cowell
  3. tpcornet12

    tpcornet12 Member

    To those that do not think they need to listen to great players - a great quote from JB Arban:

    "Those of my readers who are ambitious and who want to arrive at this exalted pitch of perfection, should above all things, endeavor to hear good music well interpreted. They must seek out, among singers and instrumentalists, the most illustrious models, and this practice having purified their taste, developed their sentiments, and brought them as near as possible to the beautiful, may perhaps reveal to them the innate spark which may some day be destined to illuminate their talent, and to render them worthy of being, in their turn, cited and imitated in the future".
  4. James Yelland

    James Yelland Active Member

    "Wagner has beautiful moments but awful quarter hours". Rossini.

    "Madame, there you sit with that magnificent instrument between your legs, and all you can do is scratch it". Thomas Beecham to a female cellist.

    "Brass bands are all very well in their place - outdoors and several miles away". Beecham (attrib.)

    "One should try everything once except incest and folk dancing". Arnold Bax.

    "Do you gargle with pebbles?" Prince Philip to Tom Jones.

    "The definition of a gentleman is someone who can play the bagpipes, but doesn't." Anon.
  5. Getzonica

    Getzonica Active Member

    'music is like work. You start together and finish together but what you get up to in the middle is nobodys business'
  6. Flutey

    Flutey Active Member

    My flute teacher said something that I think will stick with me for a while... "It isn't a horrible piece. It's just that you can't play it."
  7. The Wherryman

    The Wherryman Active Member

    So many quotations, musical or otherwise, are attempts to appear clever or funny, some are just downright rude or sarcastic.

    However, one which is none of these and which I have found very useful to recall throughout my life is one attributed to Henry David Thoreau:

    "If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away."

  8. iancwilx

    iancwilx Well-Known Member

    Some famous muso said this :-

    "An amateur practices until he gets it right.
    A professional practices until he can't get it wrong"

    It might have been Beecham but not sure.

    - Mr Wilx
  9. Red Elvis

    Red Elvis Active Member

    "I'm not playing free-form jazz improv to a festival crowd"

    From Spinal Tap.
  10. KMJ Recordings

    KMJ Recordings Supporting Member

    It was a favourite of the late great Geoff Whitham ;)
  11. Thirteen Ball

    Thirteen Ball Active Member

    "All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff." Frank Zappa.

    "The wise musician plays what he can master." Duke Ellington.

    "These go up to Eleven...." Spinal Tap.
  12. KMJ Recordings

    KMJ Recordings Supporting Member


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  13. Thirteen Ball

    Thirteen Ball Active Member

    Trust you , Keith! ;)
  14. PeterBale

    PeterBale Moderator Staff Member

    Slightly off at a tangent, but still on the musical theme, a couple of my favourites from the old radio show "My Music", offered by the inimitable Frank Muir:

    Asked to translate "La donna e mobile" he came up with the answer "The bird's got a bike"!

    The second one was a case of adjusting the punctuation, when he came up with the song title "What is this thing called, love?" ;)

    And two of my favourite Beecham quotes: "It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes."

    Speaking to a soprano who was complaining about having to sing a death-bed scene whilst lying down: "I seem to recollect", he replied "that I have given some of my best performances in that position."
  15. Independent Silver Band

    Independent Silver Band Active Member

    The bassoon is an ill wind that no one blows good- Wayne L. Reynolds
  16. DublinBass

    DublinBass Supporting Member

    A bit off topic...

    My favourite musical quote was in Caddyshack. When the storm hit and the old golfer was having his best game, he finally misses a shot and curses god. Meanwhile the background music was a direct quote of the theme from "The Ten Commandments."

    Different type of musical quote, but still my favourite.
  17. Listening Helps !

    Listening Helps ! New Member

    My favourite.

    "This melody should be like a good fart. No lumps"

    Got the message accross
  18. halsasaurus

    halsasaurus Member

    All are good but the Holy Grail of comments about music must be from Eric Morcambe to Andre Previn after being accused of playing "???????".
    "Listen mate, they were all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order!"
  19. 08cbinns

    08cbinns Member

    "Trombones, lets make this fanfare at 'A' a horny trombone sound!"
  20. iancwilx

    iancwilx Well-Known Member

    NYBBGB Weymouth 1961 - Eric Ball, course Conductor, to verbally indicate rhythm in "Sicilian Vespers"
    " To bed go - To bed go - to bed go"

    Coy smiles all around the stand !

    - Mr Wilx