... Fancy yourself as a [Comedy] Writer?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by Curiosity_Kills, Feb 12, 2005.

  1. ...Meh...

    I don't know why i started this thread ... i'm just showing off a bit of writing i've done, and you can actually click 'woof' on my signature and it takes you to where this was written for ... the Spoof Website for the Huddersfield Youth Brass Ensemble Association .... hehehe - a little project a few of us began ....

    Anyways, for all you lazy people who haven't the time or energy to click 'woof' in my signature ...

    Here is ...

    A Brief History of the Huddersfield Youth Brass Ensemble Association

    The beginnings of the HYBEA can be traced back as far as 1824 when a group of amateur musicians formed what was then ‘le Grande Bande d’Uddersfield’, and began meeting regularly to practice what they could. The original ensemble included two Ophecleides, a descant recorder and an accordion and this set-up has not changed much to date. From this humble start, the band grew quickly and by 1878 had become one of the most popular instrumental ensembles in the country.

    After their popular success of playing at the premiere of Tchaikovski’s 1812 overture (they raised three shillings and a halfpenny by busking carols outside the concert hall) and popular decision of sacking the recorder player (to be replaced by a strange old gentleman who played a out-of-tune pocket trumpet which he insisted was in E-flat), The band refined their line-up and became what most people would regard as a prototype of the modern brass band (except for the two ophecleides and the accordion).

    In circa 1901, the band had their first success. They won the highly desired Bundle-in-the-Dales brass band endurance competition, neatly secured after playing an arrangement of Scott Joplin’s The Entertainer three hundred and sixteen times. However, this provoked the accordionist at the time to pack up his accordion and teach himself the Great Bass Euphonium. No one could face telling him it was actually a B-flat bass.

    Much later, in 1940 to be precise, due to a shortage of steel, the band was forced to sell its instruments to aid the war effort and take up string instruments. This proved to be a great failure, as the majority of the players’ mouthpieces now didn’t fit and also provoked the band to rethink its rule on vibrato. The decision to buy back the brass instruments followed the disaster at the Darntpubb slow melody competition when after a faultless performance, the adjudicator ruled that the viola wasn’t a standard brass band instrument and this resulted in the band being placed fourteenth out of fourteen. (However ‘good percussion’ was mentioned on the comment sheet) This poor result started a fierce rivalry between the aforementioned gentleman with the pocket trumpet and the 2nd Ophecleidist resulting in the band’s seating plan being revised, placing two parties as far apart as possible. In pure spite, the pocket trumpeter began to play solely in his upper register and the Ophecleidist purchased an overly large trombone so that both could ‘appreciate’ each other’s playing (and, more often than not, tuning issues).

    To date, the band’s set-up has not changed very much, although the £200 prize money for third place in the Yombleworth backwards marching (and reverse countermarching) competition allowed the band to purchase a complete set of standard instruments, thus allowing them to compete in the more mainstream contests - the only problem being that the standard instruments are proving difficult to master. Most apparent in the 1st Ophecleidist not knowing what the hell to do with a slide trombone, amusingly the conductor hasn’t yet noticed.

    What do ya think? - I accept all major forms of praise :)
  2. groovy

    groovy Active Member

    lol nice one
  3. yonhee

    yonhee Active Member

    haha dats ace i like the pics on the website aswell :clap:
    Whats the real website then?
  4. As yet there is no 'real' website -- that's the second thing on our agenda ...
  5. yonhee

    yonhee Active Member

    lol dont you usually do the real one then spoof it
  6. N'ah, we're having more fun writing the spoof stuff - i have a disc full of pictures of the band members, photoshopped .... Mwhahahahahaha