Family values....

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by scotchgirl, Dec 9, 2008.

  1. scotchgirl

    scotchgirl Active Member

    Do you believe that traditional family values are still as valid today as they were in the 'good old days'?

    By family values I suppose I mean the sense that family comes before other things in your life. You care about what things are going on in your family, you spend a lot of time together (eating together, going out, watching tv, reading to each other, looking after each other when its needed etc etc).....

    I find that a lot of families I know hardly spend any time with each other, they lead separate lives (kids out every night to various activities, parents out to band/sports/going to the pub etc).

    I am in a minority of people I know, who sit down almost every night and have a meal with my kids around a table, and some of my friends are genuinely surprised that my kids don't have a tv in their rooms.

    I think that there is a fine balance between family members having their own time and space to do their own thing, and keeping the essence of family life as well.

    What do you think?
  2. StellaJohnson

    StellaJohnson Active Member

    No, not a family person at all. Close to my mum and my sister, but that is as far as it goes. My older sister is my best friend. Other than that I cannot think of anything worse then spend time with my family. Apart from I don't really know anyone else in my family. I come from a strong farming background and my distant family are a bit backward. My close friends are my family.
  3. scotchgirl

    scotchgirl Active Member

    But that's what I'm trying to say really....does the fact that people are spending less and less time with their families when they are young, mean that people can't rely on their families later on in life., and don't spend any time or energy on keeping the family close.

    I wouldn't say I am particularly close to any of my family (mum, dad and sisters I mean), they all live too far away for me to have regular contact with them, and I haven't spoken or seen my dad in over 13 years now (I did briefly speak to him before I got married, but only for him to finally confirm that he wasn't coming, even though he'd said he would - another story).

    I really regret that we aren't closer, and am starting to make more of an effort myself to speak to them more regularly on the phone/internet/webcam.

    I can trace it back to my childhood a 'family' we never ever did stuff together. I have 4 sisters, and we all had different hobbies/pastimes, which never involved each other. We didn't sit down once a day and have a meal together...we didn't talk about our days...nothing really.

    With my kids, I am trying to reverse that. I want them to be close as they grow older, and I want them to always keep in touch with each other that may not happen and I accept that, but I do feel that starting young will encourage that. I can't see anything wrong with sitting down and having a meal together, reading a book together, watching a tv prog together etc....and I hate the idea of my kids sitting watching rubbish on telly in their rooms, alone, not interacting with the rest of the family.
  4. StellaJohnson

    StellaJohnson Active Member

    I don't think traditional family values are valid these days, as you get older you are less dependant on your family. People move away and have careers, but they still can be close to there family.

    Bit like banding, where are peoples banding values these days!!
  5. scotchgirl

    scotchgirl Active Member

    Why don't you think family values are valid these days? As a young (ish) mother of two, I can't see any better way of bringing up my kids than to have love and respect for the people closest to them...their family. That is how I define family by the way, not necessarily related biologically - and I count some of my friends as being in a kind of extended family.....why is that not valid?

    What's not valid about spending time with people that are close to you?
  6. StellaJohnson

    StellaJohnson Active Member

    Last post on this, You've just changed what you have originally said to include spending time with people who are not biologically related. If people didn't spend time with people that are close to them (to include friends and non biological family) then want is the point in life?
  7. scotchgirl

    scotchgirl Active Member

    Actually in my opening post I didn't specify what I thought a family was, however, my comment about people spending time with people who are close to them (non-biologically related family) was in response to your comment about 'band values'.

    I am talking about two things I suppose, how a lack of family values in upbringing affects your family relationships as you grow older, and also, do we actually think that traditional family values are not valid nowadays, and if not, then why not (I know this sentence is grammatical cack...sorry).

    I mean do people regret not being close to their families? Do people LOVE the closeness with their families? If you have children, how is your upbringing influencing how you bring them up, is it the same?

    I know that because of the separate lives we led as children, me and my sisters are not particularly close....and I regret that a I am trying to make sure that my kids ARE close to each other.....what isn't valid about that?
  8. hicks

    hicks Member

    As a parent, I think that to be close to your children you need to be interested in what they do, and be involved. Well that's the lesson I learned from my youth anyway, and I intend to do all I can to encourage a close bond between me and my daughter.

    Also I think personalities play a big part. I don't feel particularly close to my brothers, but we are like chalk and cheese. People generally get on better with others who are like themselves. It's no different for siblings. You can't force people to be friends if they don't want to be around each other.
  9. steve butler

    steve butler Active Member

    Family is the most important thing in life (for me). I'm very close to my Wife kids, my Mum, my sister, her kids etc etc.
    We would all do anything for each other, thats what its all about isn't it?
    I've always treated my boys like mates, and thats what we are now they've grown up, "best mates".

    The best thing about Christmas (for me) is being with all my family and some really close friends.
    Merry Christmas one and all xxxxxxxxxxx :D

    mmm I feel nice and warm inside now I've shared that with you.
  10. iancwilx

    iancwilx Well-Known Member

    Aweeeee ! - how sweet you old softie !!
    I feel my natural Scroogist inclinations mellowing as I type.
    - Wilkie
    ( The Ghost of Bassist past and nightmares yet to come !)
  11. steve butler

    steve butler Active Member

    And then there's the bassist family :biggrin:
    How I miss the verbal ( and physical ) jousting with "brother" Wilkinson ;)

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