English Language II

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by bigmamabadger, Oct 31, 2004.

  1. bigmamabadger

    bigmamabadger Active Member

    My friend Jo the Singing Ecologist sent me these:

    A number of Primary Schools were doing a project on "The Sea".
    Kids were asked to draw pictures, or write about their experiences.

    This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)

    Oysters balls are called pearls. (James age 6)

    I don't like the sea. It makes me sick on the ferry. (Peter age 6)

    My goldfish died. Why? (Katie age 5)

    If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all round you, you are in continent. (Wayne age 7)

    I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily
    Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)

    A dolphin breaths through an ******** on the top of it's head. (Billy age

    My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs. (Millie age 6)

    When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the
    ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William age 7)

    I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)

    Some fish are dangerous. Jelly fish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)

    My mum has fish nets, but doesn't catch any fish. (Laura age 5)

    When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6)

    A submarine goes under the water like a fish, but it has lots of seamen inside.(Emma age 5)

    When I grow up,I want to be captain of a big ship, and have lots of sailors (Valerie age 6)

    Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age

    On holiday my Mum went water ski-ing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her fanny. (Julie age 7)

  2. Sellers_Bird

    Sellers_Bird Active Member

    pmsl! jus read some of those to my mum whose a school teacher and she's laffin too!
  3. mikelyons

    mikelyons Supporting Member

    Out of the mouths of babes...

    Now I know why I don't like children. They're funnier than me without trying :( Bah! Humbug!
  4. six pints

    six pints Active Member

    these are absoltutely amazing! :)
  5. Dave Payn

    Dave Payn Active Member

    Brilliant stuff, BMB! :)
  6. super_sop

    super_sop Supporting Member

    :D brilliant!