e-bay cornet

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by DublinBass, Aug 1, 2010.

  1. DublinBass

    DublinBass Supporting Member

  2. trombonebabe

    trombonebabe Member

    that's fantstic, best description I've ever read!
  3. Robhibberd29

    Robhibberd29 Active Member

    Blimey.....they appear to have issues!
  4. P_S_Price

    P_S_Price Member

  5. Blagger

    Blagger Member


    For sale, one evil cursed cornet. It all started in junior-high band in the late 70's. I wanted to play the drums, to get the chicks of course, but I had the rhythm of a spastic goat. My band teacher kept giving me simpler instruments, like those they played in the special-ed class. You know, cow bell, tambourine, maracas, until I was finally playing the triangle, which had one single note in the entire seventh grade recital. The band teacher pointed to me, I went "ding", and my parents where ever so proud.
    Then I entered high school, and I decided I wanted to play a "real" instrument, having gotten no chicks with my triangle playing skills. Everyone agreed drums were a "No!", so I said I wanted to play the trumpet, like that Doc fella on the Tonight Show. Certainly he was getting the chicks.
    So my parents took me to the local music store, where I looked in awe at all the really cool, shiny, chick-magnet trumpets. After my parents discussed prices with the man behind the counter, I found myself with a short, fat, used, not-cool, ugly-cousin-of-the-trumpet they were calling a cornet. This may put a hitch in my chick-getting plans, but I could play this in both the boy scouts and band. Surely that will bring the ladies.
    In high school, I found out, we didn't have jazz band, or rock band, or even classical snooty band. We had marching band. So they dressed me in a not-cool, purple-and-gold, wool uniform with a giant purple fake-fur q-tip hat. Between this uniform and my boy scout uniform, I was pretty much guaranteed to keep my virginity intact all through high-school.
    Marching band consisted of long parades in the 90 degree humidity-fest that is southern Indiana. Somehow we were always behind the horses. I soon found out that I still had the musical ability of a spastic goat, and only the instrument had changed. I can guarantee you that this cornet has never had anything blown through it that in any way resembles a recognizable tune.
    Then there was the boy scouts. I remember getting up at the crack of dawn to play revely for my fellow campers. The cornet has some dents and scratches from my scoutmaster throwing it through the woods.
    I was also invited to play taps for the VFW during a memorial day unveiling of a new WWII monument on the town square. I practiced day and night for weeks. When the big moment came, I played my heart out. I'm certain I heard one of the old vets say, "Makes me wish my name was on that monument."
    So, you're bidding on one evil cursed Collegiate brand cornet. The case has some scratches and rust. All the valves and slides work, so someone with any talent whatsoever should be able to get actual notes from it. It comes with a mouthpiece, detachable music holder, a few sheets of crappy music, some new oil, frustration and regret. Guaranteed not to attract chicks.
  6. P_S_Price

    P_S_Price Member

  7. scotchgirl

    scotchgirl Active Member

    Absolutely fantastic!
  8. WoodenFlugel

    WoodenFlugel Moderator Staff Member

    Quality :clap:
  9. themusicalrentboy

    themusicalrentboy Active Member

    hahaha! oh my days this is brilliant!!:clap:

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