Door Signs

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by MRSH, May 2, 2006.

  1. MRSH

    MRSH Supporting Member

    Some funny - some clever :D :-

    Sign over a Gynaecologist's Office:
    " Dr. Jones, at your cervix"
    On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon :
    " Yesterday's Meals on Wheels "
    On a Septic Tank Truck sign:
    " We're #1 in the #2 business."
    On a Plumber's truck:
    " We repair what your husband fixed."
    On a Plumber's truck:
    " Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.."
    Pizza Shop Slogan:
    " 7 days without pizza makes one weak."
    At a Tyre Shop in Milwaukee:
    " Invite us to your next blowout."
    On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:
    " Hello. Can we pick your nose ?"
    At a Towing company:
    " We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
    On an Electrician's truck:
    " Let us remove your shorts."
    In a Non-smoking Area:
    " If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
    On a Maternity Room door:
    " Push. Push. Push."
    At an Optometrist's Office :
    " If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
    On a Taxidermist's window:
    " We really know our stuff."
    On a Fence:
    " Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."
    At a Car Dealership:
    " The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment."
    Outside a Muffler Shop:
    " No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
    In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
    "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit ! Stay ! "
    At the Electric Company:
    " We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be."
    In a Restaurant window:
    " Don't stand there and be hungry, come on in and get fed up."
    In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
    " Drive carefully. We'll wait."
    And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop:
    " Best place in town to take a leak.
  2. Roger Thorne

    Roger Thorne Active Member

    Sign in the window of a Tattoo artist: Ears pierced while you wait!

    Sign in a gents toilet: We aim to keep these toilets clean - your aim will help!

    Written over a poster advertising a Seance: Cancelled due to unforseen circumstances!

  3. brasscrest

    brasscrest Active Member

    Used to be an apprentice plumber (many, many years ago). We had a sign posted in the shop:

    Rate per hour: $25 per hour
    If you watch while we fix it: $30
    If you tried to fix it yourself: $40
  4. brassneck

    brassneck Active Member

    - latest one I saw today ... a No Smoking In This Enclosed Space sign placed on an open bus shelter encouraging commuters to report smokers to the company owners.
  5. Magic Flute

    Magic Flute Supporting Member

    Signs seen in Cz:

    Ski-wear/equipment shop name: Broken Bones

    Cafe name: Depresso Cafe Bar
  6. EIBB_Ray

    EIBB_Ray Member

    Septic Tank Truck:
    "We're Number 1 in the Number 2 business"

    Bathroom Refinishing Business:
    "If your bathrrom isn't becoming to you, you should be coming to us."

    On a muffler shop:
    "No Appointment Necessary - We'll hear you coming"
  7. persins

    persins Member

    One that made me chuckle was on a bill board in huge letters:

    "GET FELT"

    for a builders merchant type place selling.... you guessed it... felt!!
  8. Thirteen Ball

    Thirteen Ball Active Member

    Sign outside a church in county Durham:


    Scrawled underneath in black marker pen


    Geordie wit eh? ;)
  9. PeterBale

    PeterBale Moderator Staff Member

    I like the earlier version, where the original was still "JESUS SAVES" but the response was "MOSES INVESTS!"
  10. Teflon1961

    Teflon1961 Member

    I had to laugh on the London Eye... they have really big notices stuck on the doors to the pods.. saying.. "DO NOT LEAN AGAINST THESE DOORS".... No sh** Sherlock?!!!
  11. TheMusicMan

    TheMusicMan tMP Founder Staff Member

    That's a cracker... best yet!:clap::clap:
  12. bagpuss

    bagpuss Active Member

    This reminds me of a previous thread about stupid signs on products such as:

    Sign on Sainsbury's peanuts - "Warning may contain nuts"
    Notice on sharp knives - "Warning, keep out of children"
    Warning on a childs superman suit - "This suit will not enable the wearer to fly"

    They're all crackers, in more ways than one!!!!

    Much more hilarity can be had by looking at the typical english translations from japanese products at

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